Stolen Pixels #252: Tutorialized

[duchaked]

dude, Connor is the MAN
if he tells you to have fun, you have fun

 

[Proverbial Jon]

Looks like Jacobs is the new RAMIREZ!

Ramirez! The Russians are invading the White House, defend Burgertown!

But seriously, I happened to notice this too. Being told CONSTANTLY exactly what to do while bloody Connor goes and runs off into enemy fire. Perhaps he isn't exactly the best man to lead our team...

 

[The Wooster]

GET IN THE PIT!

"But-"

GET IN THE PIT.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Although I wasn't a big fan of the games themselves, the game adaptations of the latest Spiderman movies actually had pretty awesome tutorials. The guy doing the voice for them Bruce Campbell was just so laid back about it that it was actually a fun thing to do at the start of the game.

Thinking back to those tutorials now makes me want to go grab a sandwich for old times' sake.

 

[Jordo141]

The sad thing is that I can identify from those screens that that isn't the tutorial level; so poor Shamus is putting up with that horrible, horrible game.

 

[Urgh76]

TAKE THE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!! STICK THAT KNIFE INTO THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR! LIFT OUT SOME OF THE PEANUT BUTTER ON THE KNIFE! PUSH THE PEANUT BUTTER AROUND THE SLICE OF BREAD WITH THE SIDE OF THE KNIFE! PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! EAT THE BREAD! EAT THE BREAD!! USE YOUR MOUTH, GODDAMIT! MASTICATE THAT BREAD!

Dear lord man...... you just made my day XD

 

[The Random One]

The last time that happened to me was when Navi was telling me that if I wore the iron boots I would be able to walk on the bottom of a lake while I was using the iron boots to walk on the bottom of a lake.

Theory: Homefront and LoZ:OoT take place in the same continuity. Discuss.

 

[RejjeN]

The last time that happened to me was when Navi was telling me that if I wore the iron boots I would be able to walk on the bottom of a lake while I was using the iron boots to walk on the bottom of a lake.

Theory: Homefront and LoZ:OoT take place in the same continuity. Discuss.

^ Comparing "Hey, Listen!" and an optional hint with a mandatory tutorial where you're being yelled at constantly. My point: Just how do they compare?

 

[Paksenarrion]

TAKE THE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!! STICK THAT KNIFE INTO THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR! LIFT OUT SOME OF THE PEANUT BUTTER ON THE KNIFE! PUSH THE PEANUT BUTTER AROUND THE SLICE OF BREAD WITH THE SIDE OF THE KNIFE! PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! EAT THE BREAD! EAT THE BREAD!! USE YOUR MOUTH, GODDAMIT! MASTICATE THAT BREAD!

GET INTO THE LAVATORY. HUSTLE! HUSTLE! OPEN THE LID. MY GRANDMOTHER COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT. NOW PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND SIT DOWN ON YER KESTER! NOW SHOW ME YOUR KILLFACE!

Cooking Instructor for the Wii: It senses your fear.

 

[Bostur]

When satisfying the tutorial is actually harder than playing the game.

 

[samsonguy920]

Wow, Shamus, and here I thought there wasn't anything else to add onto the Pie of Suck that is Homefront.
Comic did give me a chuckle, though.

 

[DTWolfwood]

I had them shouting over each other, telling me to throw grenades. While I was throwing grenades. I was throwing them at dudes who were already dead because I'd already thrown grenades at them.

That is some good lolz right there XD

 

[Xanthious]

How bloody true. The tutorial in that game was just one bad thing in a laundry list of things Homefront did wrong.

Kinda Off Topic but will we be seeing another Shamus Plays anytime in the near or distant future . . . . would it help if I said please and cried a little?

 

[Outright Villainy]

Although I wasn't a big fan of the games themselves, the game adaptations of the latest Spiderman movies actually had pretty awesome tutorials. The guy doing the voice for them was just so laid back about it that it was actually a fun thing to do at the start of the game.

Thinking back to those tutorials now makes me want to go grab a sandwich for old times' sake.

"The guy"?

That was Bruce Campbell!

And yeah, those were awesome.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

"The guy"?

That was Bruce Campbell!

And yeah, those were awesome.

I'm not good at recognising voices, which isn't helped by the fact that I've only seen him playing minor parts in the Spiderman movies (and I only knew he starred in those by looking at his Wikipedia page). I don't watch that many B movies.

 

[Irridium]

TAKE THE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!! STICK THAT KNIFE INTO THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR! LIFT OUT SOME OF THE PEANUT BUTTER ON THE KNIFE! PUSH THE PEANUT BUTTER AROUND THE SLICE OF BREAD WITH THE SIDE OF THE KNIFE! PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! EAT THE BREAD! EAT THE BREAD!! USE YOUR MOUTH, GODDAMIT! MASTICATE THAT BREAD!

GET INTO THE LAVATORY. HUSTLE! HUSTLE! OPEN THE LID. MY GRANDMOTHER COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT. NOW PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND SIT DOWN ON YER KESTER! NOW SHOW ME YOUR KILLFACE!

Cooking Instructor for the Wii: It senses your fear.

Cooking Mama: R. Lee Ermey edition

 

[Rad Party God]

Drill sergeant voices are 100 times better if imagined as the Soldier from TF2.

In fact, lots of things are better if heard through TF2 voices. Like my Calc teacher with the Heavy's accent.

"Alright cowards, you take function f(x) and the derivative is equal to g(x). What, can't do eet? Entire class is babies!"

Hehe, I couldn't help but to lol, you made my day good sir =)

OT: I knew from the start that it would suck hard, watching the full video of the first level on YouTube was more than enough to give me an idea of how the entire game would be and I definitely skipped all the other videos, in fact, I skipped the entire game.

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

WHICH IS THE "A" BUTTON!?!

This is what I shout when the tutorials are so blatantly mind-numbingly obvious.