SilkySkyKitten said:
Unlike some folks on this forum, I agree with you completely.
The concept of the "Friendzone" is nothing more than a disgusting attempt to vilify someone who won't bang you (as in the general "you") or won't get into a relationship with you as if it's their fault and no one else's. There's always two sides to a story, after all, so blaming the other person and acting like you didn't do anything wrong is immature, selfish, and borderline narcissistic.
And yet the "Friendzone" has become a thing and a reason for people to demand sympathy instead of just moving on. And people are willing to give sympathy to the "Friendzoned"... ugh...
I feel as if the concept has been heavily perverted and skewed to the point where I don't see much resemblance to the original definition that was used when I was in middle school & high school.
The related concept of "unrequited love" is provably irrefutable. It makes an appearance in nearly all forms of art and documented history. And if you've never even had a "crush" or "fancied someone", then good for you. You've avoided that particularly gut-wrenching experience.
The concept of the "friendzone", as I understood it, was a guy (almost always, it's a male) that likes a gal who is either a friend or acquaintance, and either makes a move verbally, but is told the proverbial "I'd rather just be friends" or doesn't make a move and tries to cue the dove with body language and/or behavior, which is usually ignored by the recipient (no matter how blatantly obvious the message is).
Obviously it's a sign of immaturity and self-doubt, but I've seen it happen. Multiple times. It is a thing. Now, from what I've seen, the "blaming" part is usually due to the manipulation of the guy by the lady. She "uses" him as a friend/snot rag/venting vestibule and he will see this as a sign of mutual compatibility. Depending on his method of approach (verbally or behaviorally, as mentioned above), he'll either get told down sympathetically by the gal in a way that tries to maintain the "friendship" for her benefit, or he'll get strung along until he realizes he's wasting his time/grows up/kills himself/whatever. I honestly believe
that's where the anger, frustration and vitriol come from: the idea that one has wasted their finite time with someone who appears to not care enough to give them a clear message, and therefore appears selfish and cruel.
That whole concept described above clearly affects a certain group of people. Those who aren't acclimatized toward social interaction, those who have a neurological/psychological tendency to being in a state of heightened anxiety, whiteknight fucktards, etc.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to defend the behavior, especially its present/mutated form. Simply trying to provide a perspective based on what I've observed & experienced.
OT: This actually took me a while to think about. I've been out of the many loops for a while. But I have two.
1) "Sick" as an expression - i.e. "OMG that tackle/swerve/anal fissure was so sick, bro!" It doesn't make sense and sounds stupid, like the person couldn't figure out an adequate descriptor to convey their perception, so they chose a word at random. When I was in school, a similar thing happened with the word "tight". Initially, I thought that was dumb as shit, but it made sense after I gave it a bit of thought (even if those jackasses who frequently used it couldn't've cared less). "Tight" implies something secure, solid, consistent, perhaps maintaining a force to hold two practically opposing things together, either physically or conceptually. Using it to describe something as clever or likable is still a bit of a stretch, but it makes more sense than "sick" does.
2) "Nerds/geeks are cool/sexy/appealing" - This concept needs to leave. It was clearly something started by the hipster-eque "I'm so not mainstream, I'm mainstream" mindset where some asshole was playing Scrabble for the first time since he was 10 and declared "OMG, I'm such a nerd!" and the equally shallow and timid sycophants he surrounded himself with nodded and laughed in approval. But instead of it being a cheap quip during a night of stoned boredom, it was exaggerated, unnaturally and forcibly grown, being shoved ass-first into society. This is true with a lot of current trends, but this one is more apparent where I am and therefore irritates me the most. Nearly the entire generation is pretentious, hyperbolic, phony, delusional and severely in need of a dictionary & humility. It's hard to find and meet real people behind these shallow, dull, boring masks.
