Story Time!

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Comrade Mateo

Inventor of the POWER STANCE
May 1, 2009
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Ok so Ima going to make this a weekly thing if it catches on...

Tell me a story! More specifically, one with the beginning "So one time I fell asleep, and when I woke up I..." Have fun! Something funny please!

EDIT: They don't have to be true. Just stories.
 

Oilerfan92

New member
Mar 5, 2010
483
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So one time i fell asleep, and when i woke up I realized i had left the t.v on. I had been watching last years Superbowl and eating a bowl of blueberries. I then flipped the channels looking for something better, being 9:30 am on a Monday i quickly realized there was nothing except soap operas. I tried to play a game of Madden, but simply couldnt, I figured that in the year ive had it ive done over 200 different Franchise Modes, most of which never lasted 2 days before i got bored. I then switched over to Modern Warfare 2, which lasted one singleplayer mission.

I then went over to the computer to check my Facebook ot see if anyone wanted to hang out or anything. After scrolling through the front page that was filled with updates from groups i didnt even care about anymore, peoples statuses from 3 days ago, and photos of them having fun without me i gave up. Nothing. I then took another run at Madden, but that lasted 20 minutes. I (being extreamly obsessive) tried FB again. "Gee" I say to myself, "my friend wants me to read about the hidden sexual messages of Disney Movies". I wonder to myself who honestly is stupid enough to click that stuff.

At that point i gave up and came to The Escapist and have been posting all day. This truley is... how i spend my days.
 

Mr.Mattress

Level 2 Lumberjack
Jul 17, 2009
3,645
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So one time I was asleep, and when I woke up, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, that I died from it. But then I came back thanks to Dr. Robert. And I never saw that barnacle again.

The End.
 

Jedamethis

New member
Jul 24, 2009
6,953
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0
So one time I fell asleep, and when I woke up I had a cat sat on me. And I stared at it. And it stared at me. It had one of those undescribable cat expressions on it's face. I don't know what my face looked like. I don't think that cat liked it though, judging by that fact that it looked at it for a second, then stared out the window.
We stayed like this for many minutes. You don't dare disturb a cat when it's comfortable, and when it's claws are in close proximity to vital organs.
Eventually I fell asleep again.

So one time I fell asleep, and when I woke up I had two cats sat on me. They didn't seem to like me very much, as their eyes were wandering around the room, and completely ignoring me.
I thought about getting up, but...nah.
Eventually I fell asleep again.
 

Mr Montmorency

New member
Jun 29, 2010
513
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I spent about a week, without interruption, editing a machinima together with two internet personalities who I will not name.

(Ebeeto and Urinatingree)

Coming this August!

Literally, for the entire week, I spent on my computer editing the video while drinking copious amounts of cherry coke.
 

The Stonker

New member
Feb 26, 2009
1,554
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So one time I was drifting in my dreams when I woke up from my slumber, then I got some milk and cheese,I never knew why I ate cheese when I woke up.
When out of the blue a dark figure stood by my side he had tentecles on his face and kept talking about some cult which I was suppose to join, when I finally turned the light on and realized it was my mother.
 

Blue_vision

Elite Member
Mar 31, 2009
1,276
0
41
So one time I fell asleep, and when I woke up I realized that something wasn't right. Perhaps it was the texture of the air I was breathing in, or the loose feeling of the skin on my body. I immediately got up to turn the lights on, but I couldn't feel the floor. It was like my foot was submersed in jelly, sinking right through the floor that I just stepped onto. I went down to feel with my hands, but they were not able to feel anything either. Then I realized that I couldn't feel my bed either. In the pitch black darkness, I was falling and falling, being sumbersed in a goopy blackness. I had no sense of direction at all, but I felt like I was falling down.
As I fell, or maybe just as I was laying there, I could begin to see a figure. At first, it was just dim, as though some unseen stage lights were projecting on it form high up in the air. But it began to grow bigger, or closer, and brighter as well, until it was almost glowing in the inky black void. It was just lying still, but as it neared closer, I could see that it was human. It wore a beautiful white dress, and had flowing brown hair which dropped down as though she was suspended by cables. It was a woman, and her skin was radiant, looking silky smooth requiring the gentlest touch.
But as I neared closer and closer, I could see something was wrong. The dress was ripped. The perfect skin was broken and bloodied. What would have been a perfect face was bruised and disfigured. But as unfarmiliar as this woman was, I could swear that I knew her.
After floating there for some time, we began to drift apart once again, and I could see a tiny pinprick of light, off in the distance. She was moving towards it, but I seemed to stay where I was. The light grew and grew, and she seemed to enter it. As soon as she was gone, everything was black again.
And then I woke up, to the sound of two heart rate monitors. One was constant, and the other flatlined.
And then I remembered the crash.

EDIT: Weekly thing please! This could be cool.
 

Lust

New member
Mar 23, 2010
2,436
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0
So one time I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I swore that one of my teddy bears smiled at me. Creepy as hell. Mind you I was still half asleep.
 

iLikeHippos

New member
Jan 19, 2010
1,837
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0
I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I...
...noticed I had wet my pants. .... Yeah, didn't expect that simple story did you now?
 

Bobic

New member
Nov 10, 2009
1,532
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0
So one time I fell asleep, and when I woke up I went about my daily routine.
 

Applejack

New member
Aug 1, 2010
286
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How about something creative?

Once upon a time in the land of Oz I decided hitchhike to California. A vehicle with a terrible driver picked me up. I asked the guy what was wrong with the cars handling and he told me the Mako just "sucks". After a few hours of hearing the guy argue with his subordinates he stopped the car at some kind of embassy. He said he would only be a minute and went into the elevator. I waited a very long time but I never saw him exit the elevator. Losing all patience I left the building and went into a local bar. A guy there said he would give me a rent free apartment if I nuked the town. I kindly rejected his offer and explained that I was heading to the west coast. He warned about some "brotherhood" occupying the west but he seemed shady so I ignored that last part. Exiting the bar I saw what looked like some kind of girl gang. They all had pink hair and about every type of vehicle imaginable so I asked if they could give me a ride. They were actually really rude and said they were getting ready for some kind of "release". Thinking about my bad luck I left the town and found myself on the overhead map screen. I saw a location called Midnight Castle. Having not explored this place I decided to see if anyone there could help me. I met with the king and he said if I could get him four ponies for his chariot he would give me a lift. Knowing what needed to be done I donned my cowl and fast travelled to the Imperial City. Outside the city I saw a stable guarded by a peasant orc. Using the duplication trick I made 30 Cyrodilic Brandys and dropped all but one, as they rolled down the road the orc ran after them. I hopped on a horse and fast travelled to Midnight Castle. I actually had to repeat this process three more times. The king of the castle used a strange darkness spell to turn the horses into dragon like monsters and he then promptly dropped me off in San Diego. I thanked him and started heading to the gas lamp district when a police officer stopped me and told me I was under arrest. Apparently it was a $1000 bounty for each horse I stole and due to a glitch the cowl hadn't worked. Not having enough money to pay it I was sent to a prison cell. In the cell next to mine is a man dressed in black, and together we write songs and play music until our release. The End
 

Tharwen

Ep. VI: Return of the turret
May 7, 2009
9,144
0
41
So one time I fell asleep, and when I woke up there was a giant mechanical zubat resting on my face.

...

That's pretty much it...
 

Deacon Cole

New member
Jan 10, 2009
1,365
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Country
USA
So one time I fell asleep, and when I woke up I realized my mother was dead. Worms were crawling in her eye sockets. Or so I imagined. I couldn't actually see her, naturally.

I had been a rock. Everyone else in my family was crying, carrying on while I had to take care of things. Make all of the arrangements with the funeral home. I was always very responsible.

My father was a wreck. He'd started smoking again. We all knew he and mother had been sneaking cigarettes for years. I think they even hid it from each other. Now, he just didn't care. At one point, he looked at me, eyes glazed with tears, and called me a good boy. It was the closest thing to a compliment he'd ever given me. To any of us, really.

My sister did her usual thing of trying to grab for attention. Usually at inappropriate moments moments such as when we were picking out mother's dress. She insisted on this awful floral print that no one liked, especially mother as we all recalled. But she wouldn't budge. Not until father yelled at her, saying this wasn't about her and he called her a selfish cow. She made a big show of being hurt. She threatened to no go to the funeral. I had to coax her to come back. That was all she really wanted. We picked a nice blue dress for mother.

My younger brother wasn't around most of the time. He was drinking. I could tell because he reeked of it despite the mints and gum. After the funeral, I found him in a quiet corner crying. He looked and me and asked what he was going to do now. All of the role models in his life keep dying. I wish I had told him that it was because it was his turn now to be the role model. but I didn't. I just hugged him instead. I don't know why. I should call him and tell him that.

That was three months ago. Only now did I finally let my guard down enough to let it in. My mother was dead. I allowed myself some time to weep bitterly.
 

BlackAura

New member
Nov 29, 2009
47
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the antithesis said:
So one time I fell asleep, and when I woke up I realized my mother was dead. Worms were crawling in her eye sockets. Or so I imagined. I couldn't actually see her, naturally.

I had been a rock. Everyone else in my family was crying, carrying on while I had to take care of things. Make all of the arrangements with the funeral home. I was always very responsible.

My father was a wreck. He'd started smoking again. We all knew he and mother had been sneaking cigarettes for years. I think they even hid it from each other. Now, he just didn't care. At one point, he looked at me, eyes glazed with tears, and called me a good boy. It was the closest thing to a compliment he'd ever given me. To any of us, really.

My sister did her usual thing of trying to grab for attention. Usually at inappropriate moments moments such as when we were picking out mother's dress. She insisted on this awful floral print that no one liked, especially mother as we all recalled. But she wouldn't budge. Not until father yelled at her, saying this wasn't about her and he called her a selfish cow. She made a big show of being hurt. She threatened to no go to the funeral. I had to coax her to come back. That was all she really wanted. We picked a nice blue dress for mother.

My younger brother wasn't around most of the time. He was drinking. I could tell because he reeked of it despite the mints and gum. After the funeral, I found him in a quiet corner crying. He looked and me and asked what he was going to do now. All of the role models in his life keep dying. I wish I had told him that it was because it was his turn now to be the role model. but I didn't. I just hugged him instead. I don't know why. I should call him and tell him that.

That was three months ago. Only now did I finally let my guard down enough to let it in. My mother was dead. I allowed myself some time to weep bitterly.
Wow. Just... wow. I'm sorry.
 

DSEZ

New member
Aug 8, 2009
862
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0
One winter night at my house my friends and i were drinking now keep in mind there was snow outside and after being incredibly drunk got on top of a car and started dancing i fell off and broke my wrist

ive got alot of stories let me know if you want more