Strange Complaints You Have Received

Lord Garnaat

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Alright, I've got a head-scratcher for you all. Whilst working at my seasonal retail job earlier this week, I found myself with a brief moment where I had nothing to do, there being no customers in my area and all of the ties already having been sorted. To pass the moment, I decided to try and improve my frankly awful penmanship by writing down random phrases on a piece of printer paper I happened to have on hand, but after a few minutes I found a job to do and moved on.

Today, however, I was approached by one of my immediate superiors, who asked to speak with me about something. While I had conjured any number of uncomfortable possible reasons for me to be fired on the way up to the office, it turns out that she actually wanted to discuss the sheet of paper I had written on, since I had forgotten to throw it away and left it to be found by a co-worker.

Now here is where things get strange. My expectation, at this point, was that I was being asked to not scribble random things during work again on the grounds that I should have found some other busy work to do and should not have been distracted. That would be entirely understandable, of course. But actually, my superior told me that she did not care at all about me writing random words on a sheet of paper at work, but that one of my co-workers had found said sheet, believed what was written on it to be offensive, and reported it.

Now, this is not some "PC gone mad"-complaint thread. I'm not angry or anything, and I didn't land myself in any kind of trouble. I am very confused, however, because I honestly don't remember what I had written on that sheet of paper, or what the offensive passage might have been. On my honor, I swear that the only things I can remember copying onto it are these three items:

1. The phrase "Six and One," multiple times in varying styles.
2. Little pictures of Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark.
3. The last stanza of "Kubla Khan" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, which I was trying to commit to memory.

I've been racking my brains ever since this strange meeting, trying to figure it out ever since. Did I write something potentially offensive and then forgot about it? I think I would have remembered that, but maybe. Did my superior just say that someone was offended as an excuse? That seems unlikely - saying they didn't want me distracted seems as valid a reason as any to call me up to the office. And if that were so, why would she state that management didn't care? So was there something about those three things that someone might misinterpret?

My two leading theories are that either someone misread the poem and thought I was writing some kind of horrid chant to a pagan demon-god, or that someone in my place of employment really doesn't like Coleridge.

Anyways, since I just had a weird experience of my own today, I thought I would ask: what are some odd complaints you have received in your time? Either ones that were concerned specifically with your performance at work or school, or ones that you have heard given about other people. Also, any hypotheses about my own complaint would be appreciated.
 

KissingSunlight

Molotov Cocktails, Anyone?
Jul 3, 2013
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I was working in a bookstore. One day, a customer complained about being offended by the song that was playing. It was Norah Jones singing Don't Know Why. The offensive lyrics? I don't know why I didn't come.
 

DefunctTheory

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Mar 30, 2010
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I used to work for a satellite internet NOC tech. We serviced corporations in Afghanistan/Iraq working for the military. Those corporations had us set up internet filters to keep their techs from doing dumb shit. However, their employees seemed to think it was our doing.

During my time working there, I, personally, had the following aimed at me.

-I was a fascist
-I was a socialist
-I was a terrorist sympathizer
-I was a Muslim sympathizer
-I was a Liberal shithead
-I was a Conservative shit head
-I was Anti-American
-I was a white supremacist
-I was called a liar several times when I informed site leads that their internet was slow because their employees were non-stop Skype calling (Sometimes video) and downloading outrageous amounts of data from iTunes (Some sites had up to 85% of their data usage aimed at Apple)

After a while, it all just merges together into one long, bitchy complaint that always ended the same way - With the complainer shutting right the hell up when I offered to forward their request to unblock sites to their supervisor, for approval to make an exception to the filters.

Some glorious gems I was 'demanded' to change until I offered the above.

-Victoria's Secret (From a man)
-Straight up porn websites
-Straight up White Supremacy websites
-Some weird website I can't recall that seemed to cater African American only lingerie
-Multiple order-a-bride websites
-Pirating websites
-Facebook
 

DarthCoercis

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In my last retail job I was written up because a customer complained that I was "too cheerful for that time of the morning". That confused the hell out of me, as "cheerful" is not a word that anyone has ever used to describe me. I asked my closest friends what words they'd have used and got results like "grumpy", "cantankerous" and "entertainingly arseholish". The word "cheerful" was met with gales of laughter.
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
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AccursedTheory said:
-Facebook
Why, those sick, depraved maniacs! How could they! [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArsonMurderAndJaywalking]

OT: This wasn't so bad a complaint, as it was all in good fun, but at a convention that friends of mine are participating staff of, there was a panel where they'd riff a bad Japanese movie in the style MST3K and Riff Trax, and uhh...they asked me to not to do that myself.
 

DefunctTheory

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FalloutJack said:
AccursedTheory said:
-Facebook
Why, those sick, depraved maniacs! How could they! [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArsonMurderAndJaywalking]
When your talking about a corporate dish that's only getting 512kbps (Contended), it stops being so silly.
 

Imperioratorex Caprae

Henchgoat Emperor
May 15, 2010
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While working at DELL phone support, multiple people called to complain that their HP printers did not work. Explaining that HP is a separate company with their own help lines was absolutely beyond their ken, but I had speed-transfer skills and our phone system allowed us to do handoffs to the competition. Loved dumping irrational people on that system as HP has HORRIBLE support. Well they used to at least.
 

Eclipse Dragon

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When I was in middle school, my parents got called into the principals office for a meeting. The reason,

"We feel your daughter is too mature for her age. There was a substitute who was having a hard time and she made a paper crane and gave it to the substitute to cheer her up... we are concerned there are problems at home?"

I was not an obnoxious little shit to the substitute, so they were concerned I was being abused by my parents. (In actuality, I have dyslexia and I hated the regular teacher, the substitute actually cared about helping me understand the material).

Edit: My room mate and I once had a neighbor absolutely convinced we were cooking curry at 3AM in the morning. She placed numerous complaints to the office and even knocked on our door several nights. We aren't even conscious at three in the morning... we placed counter complaints to the office and allowed them to inspect our apartment to try and determine where the smell was coming from. They couldn't find anything having to do with us. To this day I don't know what that was all about but they got her to stop bothering us somehow.

--------

I also have a strange compliment
I was once with my boyfriend and a stranger told me out of nowhere with no previous conversation "You're cuter than he is, but he's not ugly either."
 

Ambitiousmould

Why does it say I'm premium now?
Apr 22, 2012
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Not work related (on account of me being a lazy shite with who's never had a job despite being 20) but at Uni, I was told that I'm too mellow, and that maybe I'm not taking things seriously enough if I'm this unstressed about it.

Now some of you might find that reasonable enough but what you probably don't know is that I am studying graphic design. Don't get me wrong, it's what I want to do and I really enjoy it, but It's hardly fucking medical science. Frankly I'm pretty chuffing baffled by all the people who are stressed about it.
 

Bobular

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I once had a customer have a go at me because I sell umbrellas that look like swords. At first I thought she thought the umbrellas were actual swords, I was just about to start telling her that they were just umbrellas when she said she thought they were real but their not, she was accusing me of trying to trick people into buying fake swords. This lady thought I should have a barrel of loose real swords in my stall rather than umbrellas.

I studied physics at university so if there is something sciencey in the news people will talk to me about it. I was talking to a regular about Tim Peake arriving at the Space Station when an older man walking past overheard and came in to tell us that the Space Station isn't real and can't be because God would never let us leave Earth's atmosphere so it isn't possible, he kept talking about how you never see behind the camera when they show you people on the station and then went on to explaining the fourth wall to us and that proves its all just an American stage. The man seemed to be quite upset that we believed in the Space Station and the Moon landing and was insisting that I stop spreading my 'science religion' in public.
 

Worgen

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Bobular said:
I once had a customer have a go at me because I sell umbrellas that look like swords. At first I thought she thought the umbrellas were actual swords, I was just about to start telling her that they were just umbrellas when she said she thought they were real but their not, she was accusing me of trying to trick people into buying fake swords. This lady thought I should have a barrel of loose real swords in my stall rather than umbrellas.

I studied physics at university so if there is something sciencey in the news people will talk to me about it. I was talking to a regular about Tim Peake arriving at the Space Station when an older man walking past overheard and came in to tell us that the Space Station isn't real and can't be because God would never let us leave Earth's atmosphere so it isn't possible, he kept talking about how you never see behind the camera when they show you people on the station and then went on to explaining the fourth wall to us and that proves its all just an American stage. The man seemed to be quite upset that we believed in the Space Station and the Moon landing and was insisting that I stop spreading my 'science religion' in public.

Pleeeeeese tell me you pile drived him? Just grabbed him by the waist and slammed his head down till the stupid got knocked out of it.
 

Bobular

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Worgen said:
Bobular said:
I once had a customer have a go at me because I sell umbrellas that look like swords. At first I thought she thought the umbrellas were actual swords, I was just about to start telling her that they were just umbrellas when she said she thought they were real but their not, she was accusing me of trying to trick people into buying fake swords. This lady thought I should have a barrel of loose real swords in my stall rather than umbrellas.

I studied physics at university so if there is something sciencey in the news people will talk to me about it. I was talking to a regular about Tim Peake arriving at the Space Station when an older man walking past overheard and came in to tell us that the Space Station isn't real and can't be because God would never let us leave Earth's atmosphere so it isn't possible, he kept talking about how you never see behind the camera when they show you people on the station and then went on to explaining the fourth wall to us and that proves its all just an American stage. The man seemed to be quite upset that we believed in the Space Station and the Moon landing and was insisting that I stop spreading my 'science religion' in public.

Pleeeeeese tell me you pile drived him? Just grabbed him by the waist and slammed his head down till the stupid got knocked out of it.
I have a policy of not attacking people in my stall unless they try to steal something. Means I have to listen to all sorts of crazy, but sometimes the crazy ones do actually buy stuff.

This guy unfortunately had no interest in buying any kind of anime or manga, probably didn't believe in DVD players... or reading...
 

happyninja42

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I had a woman, a veteran, call in to complain about the benefits she is receiving from Veterans Affairs. She complained that she felt the VA had misdiagnosed her, and she refused to be labeled with the condition they gave her. She wanted to "denounce" her wording, the benefit, and deny her check, ending her benefits entirely. Basically protesting the medical diagnosis they gave her, by refusing the funds. "Um...ok ma'am, what did they diagnose you with?" "Hyper-religiosity!" again, her wording. Pretty sure that's not what the VA actually diagnosed her with. She then went on to basically say that she felt that she had to "get right with God" and that God would be angry with her, for receiving money based on being "too religious."

Now, to establish a few baseline points here, based on what she said:

1. She said she was rated at 100% for this condition, which means she is getting a check for $3,000.00/month from the federal government. Tax free. For life.

2. She stated that the definition of the "hyper-religiosity diagnosis" was that "She was so focused on her religious beliefs, that it was detrimental to her well being and health.

3. She stated that this was a lie, and she was going to prove it by not accepting the money.

4. Not accepting that money, due to her religious beliefs, was going to be detrimental to her well being and health.

....you see the problem here. I tried to reason with her, but it was obvious that was impossible. She was so wrapped up her Jesus worship and masturbatorial devotion to him, that she was going to put herself into financial ruin because of it. In fact, she said she had already sent in notification to stop the payments....so why they hell she was calling me, I have no idea. She basically just wanted to preach at someone apparently. She tried to get me to agree with her about "getting right with God" to which I responded "Well actually ma'am, I'm an atheist, so I don't really see how what you are doing is all that smart. You are in fact doing exactly the thing they apparently diagnosed you for. Putting your health and well being at risk for your beliefs. Since you asked, I think the rating is absolutely correct, and you should keep getting that money." She lost her mind that I dared to mention I didn't believe in her invisible sky daddy, and tried to convert me on the spot. I shut her down pretty quick and told her that if she's already sent notification to stop the benefit, then she's already done what she needed to do with the VA to get what she wants, and there was no reason to keep talking to me. She again tried to turn the phone call into a sermon, but I shut her down, shaking my head at her idiocy. How she hadn't already been assigned a fiduciary by the VA, because she clearly wasn't competent to handle her finances, I'll never know.
 

FalloutJack

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Happyninja42 said:
Wait... Religious fanaticism has an official diagnosis that the government will pay for out of its pocket? Do you KNOW how many heavy bible-thumping nutjobs that could essentially fund to spread the madness? And I'm speaking as a Catholic here. Alot of people go too damn far, and scam money like no tomorrow. People like this lady can do a damage to other people along the way.
 

votemarvel

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I had a complaint from a customer who was really upset that the Blue steak that she ordered was bloody.

She couldn't grasp that she couldn't have a Blue steak without blood, because all we do is seal the thing on the grill.

Eventually got fed up and just cooked it until medium. She loved it.
 

Extra-Ordinary

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Mar 17, 2010
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I was fired from my last job for saying I was rich.

Looking back on it, that's halfway understandable if it wasn't a misunderstanding of what I said.
I live more comfortably than most, not rich but well-off I don't take it for granted and I'll never complain about it, I was explaining that to my co-worker, saying that while I technically won't go hungry if I don't have this job (I still live with my parents, not proud of it but it is what it is) I was trying to act like a responsible adult where I could.

But what a customer apparently heard was "I don't need this job, I'm filthy rich," a statement that's admittedly true but I'd never say it out loud or like that.

What upsets me more that any of that, really, more than any of that was that there was a Motel 6 that literally exploded across the street from where I worked, I was working at the time that happened too, rocked the windows on our store.

http://q13fox.com/2015/08/18/reports-gas-leak-blast-levels-part-of-motel-6-in-bremerton-explosion-felt-miles-away/

Anyway.
I make a joke about that the day after it happened (something I knew as I was saying it was something I probably shouldn't have done) and I get "too soon", say I'm rich and I get fired.

Doesn't matter to me now, I got a better job but it still makes me salty to think about.
 

Catnip1024

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Flat at uni. Took the bins out for the first few weeks when it was full, saw that no-one else was doing it at all. Stopped taking the bins out. One of the other guys made a formal complaint to the people that ran the place that I wasn't taking the bins out.

The best bit? When I asked why he wasn't emptying the bin himself, his defence was "I stopped using the bin when it got full and I saw noone was going to empty it..."
 

antidonkey

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I used to be the head of IT for a small credit union. One morning, our ATMs were down. I investigated and determined that our equipment was fine and that the problem was with the connection. As I was getting my first cup of coffee, the #1 in charge guy comes in wondering what's going on. I explain it to him and move on with my day. I get with #2 in charge guy to find out who our contact is with ATT so they can investigate. Later that day, #2 comes in says he needs to talk to me on behalf of #1. #1 felt like I didn't care enough about the problem. The problem that I couldn't fix as a construction crew nearby cut data cables so all I could do was wait until ATT got a tech to patch up damage. I was baffled by the thought of having to needlessly whip myself into an emotional frenzy of something I can't solve just to keep the higher ups happy. Just one of the many reasons I left that place
 

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime

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Jan 12, 2010
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It's not a job thing, but my neighbor has been using me for tech support and gave me the dumbest complaint on the smartphone she just got. She complained that it wouldn't turn on. I asked her if she plugged it in to charge for at least 5 hours before trying to use it. She confirmed she did. I asked her if she put the battery in, she said yes. I went over to take a look, telling her she might have to return the phone. Turns out she just slapped the battery cover on the phone with out putting the battery in. She then added two weird complaints, every other phone she's ever owned had a battery that was also the battery cover, and the better one... The phone is too heavy with the battery in it. The last complaint I responded to by saying "Well too bad!".
 

The Rogue Wolf

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In ten years of retail employment at a major pet-supply chain I had to deal with a wide variety of idiots, but one of the most obnoxious was some guy who decided that he wanted to buy a 55-gallon fish tank with all the trimmings- including the fish. Now we usually recommend getting the tank before the fish and letting it run for a few days to get everything settled so that the fish aren't stressed by any sort of chemical imbalance in the water, but he wasn't having any of that- he wanted everything right then.

So I was the lucky guy who got to ring him up at the register, and while I'm doing that he says that he can't take everything home right away, and asks if he can leave the cart with all the things he's bought in the store until he gets back. I tell him that that's no problem, but the bagged fish can only stay in the bag for about an hour or so before they start running out of oxygen, so I offer to have one of the aquatic employees put his fish in one of our reserve tanks in the back until he gets back. No, he wants them left in the bag; he's sure he'll be back inside of an hour.

An hour and twenty minutes later he still hasn't come back, and I see that the fish are starting to look maybe a little distressed, so I call someone from the aquatics department and ask them to put the fish in a reserve tank so that they don't die.

Forty minutes after that, the guy returns to pick up his things, and asks where the fish are. I tell him that they had to be put in a tank or they would've died. He goes completely red in the face and starts screaming at me that he wanted those fish left in the bag until he got back, and now he no longer wants to do business with us and wants a return on the forty-plus items he's bought. Fortunately I didn't have to process that return- the cashier across from me did- but while that's being done, the guy turns back to glare at me every thirty seconds and call me a jerk.

I can only imagine how angry he'd have been if the fish had died.