Study: Don't Use Wi-Fi Near Your Junk

[Irony's Acolyte]

>Study: "Don't Use Wi-Fi Near Your Junk"
>"Semen samples placed next to a laptop results in baked, lazy sperm."
>my laptop is currently sitting right in my lap
>just like it usually is

Well shit, I wish I would found this out sooner...

 

[Section Crow]

just means i get to try harder each time

i am interested to see the climax in this matter

 

[Coldster]

As skeptical as this study is, I still moved my laptop off of my lap just now. XD

 

[Stealthygamer]

maybe the sperm cells were just dying FROM THE HEAT

 

[OriginalLadders]

Sperm start dying the second they leave your body.

This can't be real, any biologist in this field would know that.

 

[GWarface]

Thats, almost, the main reason i hate the wireless society and why i rarely carry my phone around..

 

[imnot]

Fuck I just got a little implant on my dick that sends people texts everytime its conditions change!

Oh wow did I really just write that!?

 

[BrotherRool]

*Looks down from laptop screen*

Oh crud.

 

[Baresark]

Interesting. 29 Healthy men does not a study make. You would need to repeat this with hundreds, if not thousands of men to get any meaningful results. And then it would just be numbers indicating a group effect and have no bearing on actual results regarding individual humans. Also, take into effect that sperm is protected inside the body which would change the results completely.

Ahhh, science. I remember when we used to have picnics together and talk about your very specific process... those days seem behind us now that any Tom, Dick, or Harry seem to think they understand you. I miss... US! *openly weeps*

Sperm start dying the second they leave your body.

This can't be real, any biologist in this field would know that.

Also, this. Sperm may only live for at maximum, a few hours outside a body. Many swimmers start dying within a few minutes.

 

[Lokithrsourcerer]

bullshit if that was the case we'd all be sterile by now you are constantly bombarded with wireless signals just look at how many wireless networks are visible at all times.

like the so-called evidence that homoeopathy works i think this will fall flat on it's balls when it hits peer review and double blind study

if its not in respected science publication like science magazine or new scientist it is probably bollox

 

[robert01]

Maybe all this technology that causes lazy sperm will prolong my premature ejaculations .... just a thought.

 

[Orks da best]

My router is a foot behind me.

Fuck.

lols, but really, how does it this even work? wi-fi makes sperm lazy?

 

[Torrasque]

The only way I would give a damn about this study's findings, is if it said anything about damaging the sperm factories.
Having a few million sperm die is no big deal since I passively create billions over weeks, but if the factories were damaged, then that might cause a bit of concern.
Of course, there is still some question about the validity of this study, like all studies involving "THIS TECHNOLOGY HURTS THIS".

 

[darthotaku]

I hate kids anyways. They're loud, they puke, they cost you money, and my family has a pattern of one kid in each generation being bugf**k crazy. So my lap top is staying in it's designated area right over my junk, and there is nothing anyone can say to stop me.

 

[Alcamonic]

Real question is, does faster wi-if equal more lazy sperm?

 

[zelda2fanboy]

I remember when people in school used to say "mountain dew will lower your sperms count" and my response was always "and this is a bad thing?" If using a laptop is an effective male form of birth control, then I'll get excited. No more pregnancy terror for me!

 

[The_Fezz]

I find the content on my laptop usually keeps them from being particularly lazy, though in all seriousness I doubt the effects are that fast acting.

 

[dalek sec]

My router is a foot behind me.

Fuck.

I don't know who the man is in your avatar but his face is appropriate for your post and it's cracking me up.

*Looks over at his router less than a foot away on his desk*

Fuck...well I wasn't planning on having any kids but damn, pretty sure all the little me's are fried at this point. Guess I don't have to worry about that problem at all now.

 

[Scrustle]

Well I guess that means I'm infertile then. I guess there was always something that was going to do it anyway.