Anyone have any stupid criminals stories? Personal ones not just ones you heard about or saw on TV.
A drug addict moved in next to my parents. An old guy. VERY fried. Offered my mom drugs while she was out weeding her garden one afternoon. They didn't care what he did until buyers and sellers started hanging out around his house and they didn't feel safe going outside. So they reported him. I was there in the court room when they called my mom to testify. All this guy's friends were there glaring at her and whispering threats. But she testified anyway because she's an ex-military Italian. It takes more than death threats to make her hesitate lol.
Here's the good part. Next it was the old drugy's turn to testify. He was so stoned he barely made it into his seat. When the judge asked him "Sir, are you on drugs right now?" he responded "Yup! Want some?" The judge's jaw dropped and his friends were making frantic motions mouthing "No NO NO"
The judge said after a moment "Sir... Are you offering this court drugs!?" He nodded and reached into his pocket "Yeah I got some right here."
At which point the judge slammed his gavel down and passed sentence. I just about died laughing
A drug addict moved in next to my parents. An old guy. VERY fried. Offered my mom drugs while she was out weeding her garden one afternoon. They didn't care what he did until buyers and sellers started hanging out around his house and they didn't feel safe going outside. So they reported him. I was there in the court room when they called my mom to testify. All this guy's friends were there glaring at her and whispering threats. But she testified anyway because she's an ex-military Italian. It takes more than death threats to make her hesitate lol.
Here's the good part. Next it was the old drugy's turn to testify. He was so stoned he barely made it into his seat. When the judge asked him "Sir, are you on drugs right now?" he responded "Yup! Want some?" The judge's jaw dropped and his friends were making frantic motions mouthing "No NO NO"
The judge said after a moment "Sir... Are you offering this court drugs!?" He nodded and reached into his pocket "Yeah I got some right here."
At which point the judge slammed his gavel down and passed sentence. I just about died laughing