Stupid questions about yourself people always ask you.

[Lilani]

I live in an apartment that's right across the street from a cheese factory. Overall it's a nice neighborhood, not a lot of crime or sketchy people, but the factory keeps the property value down which thus keeps the rent nice and low. When I tell people that is where I live, the number one question that immediately follows is, "Really? What does it smell like?"

Cheese. It smells like cheese. I know, shocking.

Are there any things about you that people ask dumb and/or obvious questions about?

 

[Barbas]

Well, somebody who used to live near a chocolate factory once said that it smelled like a cross between soiled butts and death. I think there was just one ingredient in particular that gave off a nasty, Stygian stench.

OT: People sometimes ask me what the hell is wrong with me. This usually makes me quite thoughtful for several moments, before I respond with "I 'unno". Then I ask them what's wrong with them as a sign of polite interest. This usually leads to Awkwardness.

 

[Kae]

Have you killed someone? or Do you like Killing people?

Geeze people, I get it I have a scar on my eye and I generally look like badass but really?
I normally get really pissed off when they ask this and answer with, "Only if they ask too many questions" while doing my best Clint Eastwood impersonation, they normally stop after that, but it's ridiculous that people keep asking me this.

 

[Thaluikhain]

OT: People sometimes ask me what the hell is wrong with me. This usually makes me quite thoughtful for several moments, before I respond with "I 'unno". Then I ask them what's wrong with them as a sign of polite interest. This usually leads to Awkwardness.

Oh yeah, getting randomly asked "what's wrong?" or "what's the matter?" for no good reason.

 

[Eleuthera]

I'm colourblind, first thing people ask when I tell them: "So... what does this look like to you?"

 

[Frezzato]

I like to think that workers at the cheese factory get free wheels of cheese like how Philip Morris used to give free cigarettes to their employees.

 

[MeatMachine]

I am a Type 1 Diabetic.

"If you're diabetic, why aren't you fat?"
"So if you eat a chocolate bar, you'll die?"
"What are you so upset about? At least you don't have cancer, right?"

 

[Barbas]

I'm colourblind, first thing people ask when I tell them: "So... what does this look like to you?"

A friend of mine witnessed this at a party (a man was dressed in a bright purple suit): Someone asks "what the hell are you dressed like that for? Are you colourblind or something???"

The man replies, "Yes."

"...Oh. I, uh..."

Spoiler: Awkwardness ensued.

* * *​

OT: People sometimes ask me what the hell is wrong with me. This usually makes me quite thoughtful for several moments, before I respond with "I 'unno". Then I ask them what's wrong with them as a sign of polite interest. This usually leads to Awkwardness.

Oh yeah, getting randomly asked "what's wrong?" or "what's the matter?" for no good reason.

Is it because of the expression on your face? I get that sometimes. Like I'm supposed to carry a mirror with me to know what expressions are flitting across my face at any minute of the day, sheesh...

 

[MetalDooley]

As a man with a substantial beard I'm constantly being asked things like "How did you get your beard so long?"...Really??You are aware that hair grows aren't you?I mean that's just basic fucking biology.Combine hairs natural growth with not cutting it and voila long hair/beard.It's not exactly rocket science

 

[Padwolf]

I'm colourblind, first thing people ask when I tell them: "So... what does this look like to you?"

My boyfriend is colourblind too and this drives him mad, he ends up saying "That's not how it works!"

I usually get asked "Is your hair naturally that straight?" Yes it is! Now leave me and my annoyingly straight hair alone! I also get the "Are you alright?" and "Why are you so angry?" I'm not angry. I'm fine. I just have resting ***** face.

 

[Queen Michael]

"What are you going to do with that otter?"

Look, the otter is very much okay with all the fun activities that I suggested, and I don't think anything else about what the otter and I do is anybody else's business.

 

[Barbas]

I'm colourblind, first thing people ask when I tell them: "So... what does this look like to you?"

My boyfriend is colourblind too and this drives him mad, he ends up saying "That's not how it works!"

I usually get asked "Is your hair naturally that straight?" Yes it is! Now leave me and my annoyingly straight hair alone! I also get the "Are you alright?" and "Why are you so angry?" I'm not angry. I'm fine. I just have resting ***** face.

"Resting ***** Face" is the funniest amateur diagnosis I've heard since "Itchy Scrot" and "Wanker's Cramp". my old workplace colleagues used to come up with the funniest stuff sometimes. I like to think that whoever began the use of such classifications is enjoying free drinks and reasonably-priced affection in a bar somewhere. I wish we could get this one free on the NHS...*sigh*, a man can dream:

'Too Slothy To Support Themselves - admit to hospital for butler services'.

OT: Ooh, ooh, I also get "what are you looking at?" Well, isn't it obvious? I'm looking at you, or rather into you, and silently judging you. Is that some sort of problem? ...Really? That's surprising, but now that you mention it, I suppose it would be a little disconcerting. Come to think of it, it looks like you've got the moral high ground here. I'll stare at that person instead.

 

[Parasondox]

"Can I touch your hair?" - Only a few of my exs would ask that when I dated them at the time and it was just... strange. I never knew a black persons hair was a mystery but I was never offended by it. Okay, hair is different and a ***** to comb lemme tell ya.

"So, if you are from the Caribbean, are you from Jamaica?" - NO! Not everyone who is from the Caribbean/West Indies is Jamaican.

or to counter that...

"What part of Africa are you from, you look Ghanaian?" - I'm not African!

Lastly, I have a million more in the bank, "Why do you sound white"? - You mean formal because I don't speak slang and pronounce my words correctly and can't be arse learning a new slang word that seems to change each month? I didn't know you had to be white to speak that way. It's more confusing cause I have a Brit-American accent thing going on and I used to stammer as a kid so I had to try and pronounce words correctly.

For some reasons the questions were race related (not racist) but really weren't offended by them in the end.

 

[Parasondox]

Double post. Sorry

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Apparently I have a very divisive appearance.

Some people think I look Asian, while others can't see it at all. It's a very perplexing phenomenon.

My girlfriend has been asked on separate occasions, by different people.

"So how's that Asian guy you're with?"
"He's not Asian."
"You sure?"

 

[Musette]

"Can you feel your twin's pain or communicate with her telepathically?"

Seriously, people ask me that without a hint of irony in their voices.

 

[The Funslinger]

Apparently I have a very divisive appearance.

Some people think I look Asian, while others can't see it at all. It's a very perplexing phenomenon.

My girlfriend has been asked on separate occasions, by different people.

"So how's that Asian guy you're with?"
"He's not Asian."
"You sure?"

And just like that, I'm having a great day!

OT: "Are you gay?"

Exclusively from guys though. Women seem to know what's up. Other guys though... I dunno. And it's only partially explained by the fact I keep getting chatted up by gay guys.

One girl once asked me "why is one of your eyes smaller than the other?" It isn't, it's just that she was such a dumb shit that more often than not, I was giving her a 'how are you still alive?' sort of look. I guess she assumed it was permanent.

 

[EeveeElectro]

"Your hair is bright isn't it?"

Well fuck, I never noticed.

"Well, aren't you small?"

Maybe you're just tall!?

"Why don't you have kids?"

Why are you even questioning that?

And most often "why are you doing that? What are you doing?" before they give me chance to finish something. There's always method behind my madness, people!

 

[giles]

When people ask me what I do and I explain my particular brand of theoretical physics they sometimes go "...and what is that good for? What can you do with that?"

Fucking hell people. Right you are! What is the use of understanding nature? I mean all it gave us is modern fucking civilization, so better go back to posting useless shit on facebook and watching some TV instead of trying to figure that shit out, eh?

Or when they learn I'm good at math they go "haha, I never understood math in school". What can I even say to that? It's like you just came out to me as a donkey in human drag and expect me to reply to that.

 

[Euryalus]

Apparently I have a very divisive appearance.

Some people think I look Asian, while others can't see it at all. It's a very perplexing phenomenon.

My girlfriend has been asked on separate occasions, by different people.

"So how's that Asian guy you're with?"
"He's not Asian."
"You sure?"

Perfect oppotunity to make something up about being descended from Genghis Khan's ambassador to Europe xD

Have you killed someone? or Do you like Killing people?

Geeze people, I get it I have a scar on my eye and I generally look like badass but really?
I normally get really pissed off when they ask this and answer with, "Only if they ask too many questions" while doing my best Clint Eastwood impersonation, they normally stop after that, but it's ridiculous that people keep asking me this.

I swear you need to post in a photo thread with all the stories you have of people asking you these things...

I'm colourblind, first thing people ask when I tell them: "So... what does this look like to you?"

My boyfriend is colourblind too and this drives him mad, he ends up saying "That's not how it works!"

I usually get asked "Is your hair naturally that straight?" Yes it is! Now leave me and my annoyingly straight hair alone! I also get the "Are you alright?" and "Why are you so angry?" I'm not angry. I'm fine. I just have resting ***** face.

I have resting depressed face apparently... Which is werid because no one seems to ask when things are wrong, just when I'm thinking.

...Good to know I look all snivelly and weepy instead of stoic when I go into my "The thinker" mode xD

OT: The dumbest one I find is when people read my last name (one of those real obvious O apostrophe ones) on a form or something then ask if it's irish... No it's chinese. My family immigrated from Manchuria when I was younger xD