Stupid questions you've been asked at your job
- Thread starter RikuoAmero
- Start date
Well I already posted the one about the orange/camouflage hunting vests in another customer service thread so now I'll mention the numerous people at my current day job who just having observed 8 or 10 people in front of them stopping to pay their parking fees drive up and ask "Isn't today a free day?". Yeah, you got me, I just made all those people in front of you pay even though it's a free day.
I used to manage a shoe store that also sold arch supports and shoe care products and such. I was well trained in foot anatomy.
I once had a woman buy arch supports from me, and then she put them with the padded arch support on the outside edges of her feet. And when I told her no, your arch is on the inside of your foot she argued with me for like five minutes. I finally gave up and let her wear them like that.
... She was a nurse, at that.
I once had a woman buy arch supports from me, and then she put them with the padded arch support on the outside edges of her feet. And when I told her no, your arch is on the inside of your foot she argued with me for like five minutes. I finally gave up and let her wear them like that.
... She was a nurse, at that.
"How much does this cost?"
Note, I work at a dollar store. Everything in the store is a dollar or less, and while yes that theoretically means not everything is exactly the same price, it still isn't hard to guess what any item in the store is gonna cost you. At all. Therefore the fact that I get asked this question way too often (and seriously, too. Not as a joke) really makes me concerned about the intelligence of a lot of people in this world...
Note, I work at a dollar store. Everything in the store is a dollar or less, and while yes that theoretically means not everything is exactly the same price, it still isn't hard to guess what any item in the store is gonna cost you. At all. Therefore the fact that I get asked this question way too often (and seriously, too. Not as a joke) really makes me concerned about the intelligence of a lot of people in this world...
One of the common ones I get (I'm a bank teller) is: "Can I deposit money into my *Competitor Bank* account here?"
This wouldn't be so bad, if not for all the times I've then had to listen to a nonsensical rant about how they've had to line up all that time just to be told they can't do something, or how the technology exists for us to do it so we should do it (and dozens of competition, EFTPOS and privacy laws saying we can't be damned), or some such similar shit.
This wouldn't be so bad, if not for all the times I've then had to listen to a nonsensical rant about how they've had to line up all that time just to be told they can't do something, or how the technology exists for us to do it so we should do it (and dozens of competition, EFTPOS and privacy laws saying we can't be damned), or some such similar shit.
More than once I've been asked "Do you work here?" While I was at work, wearing the 'dress-code colors' (pants, shirt and hoodie) and name tag (which includes the name of the company) and stocking freight from an open box in my hands.
I was once asked this on Halloween, and was incredibly tempted to tell them-"No, this is just a costume."
I've also had a customer ask me "Where are the frozen pies?" when the lady was standing in front of the doors that held the frozen pies, she would have seen them if she turned around.
I was once asked this on Halloween, and was incredibly tempted to tell them-"No, this is just a costume."
I've also had a customer ask me "Where are the frozen pies?" when the lady was standing in front of the doors that held the frozen pies, she would have seen them if she turned around.
I work at a movie theater, and one of my chores is ushering people to their seats. When a movie sells out, you're bound to accomodate at least one couple whose seats are apart rather than next to each other. They'll ask me if it's alright if they seat together, and I have to explain to them, if you couldn't get two seats together, that means the movie's sold out (duh). It's even more frustrating when they switch nonetheless and I have to step in and sort shit out in the middle of the screening, because the occupants of those seats just showed up late.
I work as a photo lab technician at a large chain drug store in a small country town. Before I begin, I would like to frame my questions by stating that education is secondary to procreation in this particular town, so there are idiots abound. The answers are more along the lines of what I was thinking at the time. I usually give polite answers and then wonder, "WTF?!" later. I also work in nearly every part of the store, including the pharmacy.
I actually got the following question while working for the same company while working in a much larger city. Apparently this customer had more money than sense.
Q: You mean my camera won't work underwater? (speaking of a $1500 to $2000 Nikon digital SLR with multiple lens sets)
A: Yes, but only once. <--- Actual answer
The following came from the location where I am currently working while finishing college. I can't wait to get out of this town!
Q: Do you work here?
A: Nope, I wear the uniform and nametag for fun.
Q: Do you know if you have bed bugs in your home? (I was asked this today)
A: Nope, I wash my sheets and vacuum my carpets.
Q: Can I use this gift card to buy a Visa Greendot pre-paid card?
A: No.
Q: Why not?
A: Visa handles that, not us. It's hard-wired not to work, and there is no way around it.
Q: Can you call them and see if they will make an exception?
A: *Facepalm*
Q: Do you have a pharmacy?
A: Nope, the big neon sign above our front door is just for show.
Q: Can I buy these cigarettes for my underage friend?
A: Get the hell out!
Q: I'm looking to get high, do you sell air dusters?
A: Are you as dumb as you look?
Q: Why aren't your prices as low as Wal-Mart?
A: We aren't Wal-Mart. <--- Actual answer
Q: Can I see my film before you develop it? I want to make sure I know what I'm getting before I pay you and waste my time.
A: *fought urge to remove film from film canister and say, "Yep! It looks blank to me!"*
Q: Can I print naked photos of myself to send to my boyfriend in jail?
A: Sure, if you want to subject him to that. *Shudder*
Q: Why do I need a copyright release for my photos?! I bought the disk!
A: Congratulations! You paid $600 for a plastic disk! It says here on the front you need to contact them for reprints.
Q: Can you print photos here?
A: Nope, we create memories! *Cheesy grin*
I actually got the following question while working for the same company while working in a much larger city. Apparently this customer had more money than sense.
Q: You mean my camera won't work underwater? (speaking of a $1500 to $2000 Nikon digital SLR with multiple lens sets)
A: Yes, but only once. <--- Actual answer
The following came from the location where I am currently working while finishing college. I can't wait to get out of this town!
Q: Do you work here?
A: Nope, I wear the uniform and nametag for fun.
Q: Do you know if you have bed bugs in your home? (I was asked this today)
A: Nope, I wash my sheets and vacuum my carpets.
Q: Can I use this gift card to buy a Visa Greendot pre-paid card?
A: No.
Q: Why not?
A: Visa handles that, not us. It's hard-wired not to work, and there is no way around it.
Q: Can you call them and see if they will make an exception?
A: *Facepalm*
Q: Do you have a pharmacy?
A: Nope, the big neon sign above our front door is just for show.
Q: Can I buy these cigarettes for my underage friend?
A: Get the hell out!
Q: I'm looking to get high, do you sell air dusters?
A: Are you as dumb as you look?
Q: Why aren't your prices as low as Wal-Mart?
A: We aren't Wal-Mart. <--- Actual answer
Q: Can I see my film before you develop it? I want to make sure I know what I'm getting before I pay you and waste my time.
A: *fought urge to remove film from film canister and say, "Yep! It looks blank to me!"*
Q: Can I print naked photos of myself to send to my boyfriend in jail?
A: Sure, if you want to subject him to that. *Shudder*
Q: Why do I need a copyright release for my photos?! I bought the disk!
A: Congratulations! You paid $600 for a plastic disk! It says here on the front you need to contact them for reprints.
Q: Can you print photos here?
A: Nope, we create memories! *Cheesy grin*
Oh lord, working in fast food has given me SO many for this.
I think it's a tie between:
1. Does your cheeseburger have cheese on it?
2. What comes on a bacon and cheese potato?
and
3. Is your taco salad like a taco salad?
I just...if I hadn't been the one asked these myself, I would never believe this level of stupidity was possible.
I think it's a tie between:
1. Does your cheeseburger have cheese on it?
2. What comes on a bacon and cheese potato?
and
3. Is your taco salad like a taco salad?
I just...if I hadn't been the one asked these myself, I would never believe this level of stupidity was possible.
Some of these are statements, but they still smack the Stupidometer needle right into the retaining pin.
Q. I'll have a large sandwich with....
A. I'm sorry, we have completely run out of bread.
Q. Okay, then I'll have a garlic bread.
So I should just pour some garlic butter in your hand?
Q. Oh, were you closing?
Considering that I watched you stop outside our door and read the sign with our hours, plus you just saw me shut off the giant neon OPEN sign, what do you think?
Q. Why is it such a long wait for food?
You are in our store 1) on Friday, the busiest day of the week; 2) at 6:30, the busiest time of day; 3) on a rainy day, which makes us busy; 4) and there's a sports game featuring the local team versus its rival, which, you guessed it, makes us busy. If that isn't clear enough, look around you. The lobby is packed. You can't possibly be dumb enough to think all 200 of these people came in here to escape the rain.
Q. What do you mean, you don't take food stamps? (from a guy trying to buy beer and cigarettes!)
We are a restaurant. Food stamps exist so you can get essential foodstuffs from the grocery store. They are to rescue you from starvation. They are not for luxuries.
Q. There's no way my credit card was declined.
A. (turning the monitor around, swiping the card again, showing customer the "declined" message)
Q. I know there's money on there.
Some people know the Earth is flat.
Q. I know you aren't open yet, but can I get a sandwich?
A. I'm sorry, I don't have any bread ready yet. It won't be done until just before we open, maybe half an hour from now.
Q. .......So, can I get a sandwich?
Q. You guys make pizzas?
The word "pizza" is in the name of our store. It is on our hats, our shirts, our menu, both the giant signs outside, plus there are hundreds of pizza boxes within easy sight. I would ask, "what do you think," but I wouldn't make the mistake of applying the word "think" to you.
Q. And how long is my order going to take?
A. About half an hour, forty minutes.
Q. Why so long?
A. Uh...because we're very busy right now. (gesturing at vast array of work orders, crowded lobby, crew members running around like their asses are on fire)
Q. Can't you just put my order in ahead of everyone else's?
A. Oh, absolutely I can.
Q. Great! So, how long now?
A. Half an hour, forty minutes.
Q. But you said you were going to do it first!
A. No, sir, I said I could. I did not say I would.
Q. Well, why not?
A. I'm sorry I have to explain something you should have learned in kindergarten. From time to time, we all have to wait in line. First come, first serve. It's simply the way things are. See you in forty. (waving)
Unprofessional, but immensely satisfying.
Q. Which is bigger, the ten inch or the twelve inch?
Congratulations. You are officially the stupidest person I have ever encountered. I am speechless. You have busted my sarcasm. The fact that you asked the question says more about you than any snarky insult ever could have. I swear I feel IQ points being sucked out of my head into the singularity of stupid. I want to scream and claw at my scalp in Lovecraftian horror, because I know I will never be able to forget meeting someone so catastrophically stupid. The entire human species is weaker for your influence.
Q. I'm here to pick up the pizza!
A. What would the name on it be?
Q. I don't know.
A. What phone number would it have been called in from?
Q. I don't know.
A. What was the order for?
Q. I don't know.
A. Well, sir, without any of that information, I can't help you.
Q. All they said was to go pick up the pizza. Can't you just....give me one of those? (gesturing at ready orders)
See those cars rushing by outside? Your order is taped to the bottom of one. I need you to go get it.
Q. I'll have a large sandwich with....
A. I'm sorry, we have completely run out of bread.
Q. Okay, then I'll have a garlic bread.
So I should just pour some garlic butter in your hand?
Q. Oh, were you closing?
Considering that I watched you stop outside our door and read the sign with our hours, plus you just saw me shut off the giant neon OPEN sign, what do you think?
Q. Why is it such a long wait for food?
You are in our store 1) on Friday, the busiest day of the week; 2) at 6:30, the busiest time of day; 3) on a rainy day, which makes us busy; 4) and there's a sports game featuring the local team versus its rival, which, you guessed it, makes us busy. If that isn't clear enough, look around you. The lobby is packed. You can't possibly be dumb enough to think all 200 of these people came in here to escape the rain.
Q. What do you mean, you don't take food stamps? (from a guy trying to buy beer and cigarettes!)
We are a restaurant. Food stamps exist so you can get essential foodstuffs from the grocery store. They are to rescue you from starvation. They are not for luxuries.
Q. There's no way my credit card was declined.
A. (turning the monitor around, swiping the card again, showing customer the "declined" message)
Q. I know there's money on there.
Some people know the Earth is flat.
Q. I know you aren't open yet, but can I get a sandwich?
A. I'm sorry, I don't have any bread ready yet. It won't be done until just before we open, maybe half an hour from now.
Q. .......So, can I get a sandwich?
Q. You guys make pizzas?
The word "pizza" is in the name of our store. It is on our hats, our shirts, our menu, both the giant signs outside, plus there are hundreds of pizza boxes within easy sight. I would ask, "what do you think," but I wouldn't make the mistake of applying the word "think" to you.
Q. And how long is my order going to take?
A. About half an hour, forty minutes.
Q. Why so long?
A. Uh...because we're very busy right now. (gesturing at vast array of work orders, crowded lobby, crew members running around like their asses are on fire)
Q. Can't you just put my order in ahead of everyone else's?
A. Oh, absolutely I can.
Q. Great! So, how long now?
A. Half an hour, forty minutes.
Q. But you said you were going to do it first!
A. No, sir, I said I could. I did not say I would.
Q. Well, why not?
A. I'm sorry I have to explain something you should have learned in kindergarten. From time to time, we all have to wait in line. First come, first serve. It's simply the way things are. See you in forty. (waving)
Unprofessional, but immensely satisfying.
Q. Which is bigger, the ten inch or the twelve inch?
Congratulations. You are officially the stupidest person I have ever encountered. I am speechless. You have busted my sarcasm. The fact that you asked the question says more about you than any snarky insult ever could have. I swear I feel IQ points being sucked out of my head into the singularity of stupid. I want to scream and claw at my scalp in Lovecraftian horror, because I know I will never be able to forget meeting someone so catastrophically stupid. The entire human species is weaker for your influence.
Q. I'm here to pick up the pizza!
A. What would the name on it be?
Q. I don't know.
A. What phone number would it have been called in from?
Q. I don't know.
A. What was the order for?
Q. I don't know.
A. Well, sir, without any of that information, I can't help you.
Q. All they said was to go pick up the pizza. Can't you just....give me one of those? (gesturing at ready orders)
See those cars rushing by outside? Your order is taped to the bottom of one. I need you to go get it.
I work at a deli.
Q: Can you change out that item in the special for another?
A: No that's why its the special. I cant just give you whatever you want for the discount price.
Q: But I dont want that!
A: Then dont buy it.
Q: But I want the price....
A: How does it feel to want.
Q: Are you closed?
A: No the lights are off, I'm not in my uniform and I'm walking out the door as an elaborate con to fool you into thinking we are.
Q: Is the bakery closed?
A: The lights are off, nobody is back there and the door is locked.
Q: Can you get me something from it.
A: I don't work in the bakery and have no clue how to run it.
*customer gives dirty look and walks away*
Q: Anyone else working with you tonight?(Which is a polite way of saying hurry the F up I have to get these 12 pounds of cold cuts to my obese children or else they will starve tonight because magic firebox in house(Oven) is to scary for me to understand how to use)
A: No the other guy called out and the store managers do not care at all, anything else I can get you?
I've actually managed to insult most of these people to the point where they don't come in anymore or don't come in when I'm working, hooray! maybe they are feeding their kids something that doesn't have enough salt to drop Elvis.
Q: Can you change out that item in the special for another?
A: No that's why its the special. I cant just give you whatever you want for the discount price.
Q: But I dont want that!
A: Then dont buy it.
Q: But I want the price....
A: How does it feel to want.
Q: Are you closed?
A: No the lights are off, I'm not in my uniform and I'm walking out the door as an elaborate con to fool you into thinking we are.
Q: Is the bakery closed?
A: The lights are off, nobody is back there and the door is locked.
Q: Can you get me something from it.
A: I don't work in the bakery and have no clue how to run it.
*customer gives dirty look and walks away*
Q: Anyone else working with you tonight?(Which is a polite way of saying hurry the F up I have to get these 12 pounds of cold cuts to my obese children or else they will starve tonight because magic firebox in house(Oven) is to scary for me to understand how to use)
A: No the other guy called out and the store managers do not care at all, anything else I can get you?
I've actually managed to insult most of these people to the point where they don't come in anymore or don't come in when I'm working, hooray! maybe they are feeding their kids something that doesn't have enough salt to drop Elvis.
I think I read that story, with the exact same punchline, on a tech support joke page a couple years ago.iwinatlife said:
I don't get asked many stupid things at my work, but I have had clients who couldn't have had a poorer understanding of the nature of my work and how it relates to getting their deliverables done on time. For example, I was making an animation from a storyboard a client had sent me. It was supposed to take a month. After 15 days I send in a render of the progress so far, and he sends me a more complicated storyboard with many additional elements that he didn't send in the beginning because he figured it'd be simpler that way.
Did I mention that 3D animation involves lots of scripts and carefully tweaked and interacting components?
Not wanting to play devils advocate but...
To those of us particualar [read: fussy] about what we eat, the little things are just as, if not more important than the main ingredient.
Are you saying that the entire chicken/steak bake consists only of chicken and steak?EeveeElectro said:
To those of us particualar [read: fussy] about what we eat, the little things are just as, if not more important than the main ingredient
What exactly makes it a pizza then?EeveeElectro said:
I'm an English teacher. Moved to China for some years and here's a few:
- Why do you think giving candies and food to reward students is wrong?
- Why do you think raising children should not include putting them down from time to time?
- Why don't you go back home?
- Why do you think Chinese education is not that great?
- What's wrong with bribing officials/teachers when you want something?
- Why do you think being fat does not equal being strong?
- Do you have the latest Ipad/Iphone? No? Are you poor?
- Why don't you have a car? Are you poor?
- Why do you think your students' opinions are important?
- Why do you say China is dirty?
- Why do you think giving candies and food to reward students is wrong?
- Why do you think raising children should not include putting them down from time to time?
- Why don't you go back home?
- Why do you think Chinese education is not that great?
- What's wrong with bribing officials/teachers when you want something?
- Why do you think being fat does not equal being strong?
- Do you have the latest Ipad/Iphone? No? Are you poor?
- Why don't you have a car? Are you poor?
- Why do you think your students' opinions are important?
- Why do you say China is dirty?
Working on reception of a solicitors office.
Client walks in
Them: i have an appointment
Me: Ok, who with?
Them: I don't know
Me: OK when is it
Them: I can't remember
Me: Ok what was the nature of the appointment
Them: I don't want to discuss it.
Me thinking: you've made an appointed with someone then couldn't be arsed to remember who it was with or when it is and you won't tell me what its about, so now i have to phone around the entire office asking who has appointment with you.
Or a story that's been around me re-enactment group around a while, re-enactors sitting around cooking their dinner using a firebox. Member of public walks up an asks, "is that a real fire?"
Client walks in
Them: i have an appointment
Me: Ok, who with?
Them: I don't know
Me: OK when is it
Them: I can't remember
Me: Ok what was the nature of the appointment
Them: I don't want to discuss it.
Me thinking: you've made an appointed with someone then couldn't be arsed to remember who it was with or when it is and you won't tell me what its about, so now i have to phone around the entire office asking who has appointment with you.
Or a story that's been around me re-enactment group around a while, re-enactors sitting around cooking their dinner using a firebox. Member of public walks up an asks, "is that a real fire?"
I have bounced from job to job especially when I was younger. In retail I have ran into the most ridiculous questions. I worked in a drug store for while and would occasionally help the pharmacist in the back. One day I was working back there and a woman called and asked me quite bluntly "When can I eat?? I then told her that I only work here once in a while and asked her what she meant. She then said "I took my pills yesterday and found this little package in there that said DO NOT EAT. I was just wondering when I could eat since my medication had that warning in there."
At that point I handed the phone to the pharmacist; I couldn't keep a straight face. What had happened was that sometimes the pharmacy would get a script in for a specific amount of pills and sometimes the medication in the bottle would have exactly that amount in it. So what the pharmacy techs do is slap a label on the bottle instead of dumping it out counting it and then putting it into another bottle. But the tech that put together the customers script forgot to take out the silica package, which says in big black letters "DO NOT EAT".
At that point I handed the phone to the pharmacist; I couldn't keep a straight face. What had happened was that sometimes the pharmacy would get a script in for a specific amount of pills and sometimes the medication in the bottle would have exactly that amount in it. So what the pharmacy techs do is slap a label on the bottle instead of dumping it out counting it and then putting it into another bottle. But the tech that put together the customers script forgot to take out the silica package, which says in big black letters "DO NOT EAT".
wulf3n said:
Steak is steak with gravy. Chicken has a creamy chicken sauce, both say it on the labels. That's literally it, most people can guess what goes in a steak bake, it says it in the name...
And margarita pizza, it exists. Not very fun mind but it's okay if you don't eat meat.
Yeah when I worked at a grocery store we got that all the time. Usually they would buy food with food stamps and pay for their beer and cigs with a big roll of cash. The really smart ones used to use all their allotment of food stamps on meat and sell them to people in the parking lot for cash to buy beer, cigs and drugs.Johnny Impact said:
Not sure how wide spread it is but in L.A. some restaurants now take EBT basically food stamps on a card. but in store only for some reason, you can't go through a drive-thru. I guess walking in somehow makes the food better? All the ones I have seen with signs saying they accept them were fast food places.
When I worked at Best Buy we would always get the call where they wanted the electronics dept. I worked in Games, Music and Movies and people lost the ability to read when they walked through the doors. Why yes that 10 foot high sign directly in front of you directing you to different departments is only a suggestion.
Working in an Italian restaurant for four years, a very common thing was fat tourists asking if they could have French fries and a burger.
No you can't. We don't even have a deep fryer. Also the snackbar is literally next door.
No you can't. We don't even have a deep fryer. Also the snackbar is literally next door.
I don't get a lot of really dumb questions where I work. Although I do find it endlessly frustrating that I can't go a week without having to explain to someone that paying for next business day delivery at 10:00 pm on a Friday night does not mean you'll get your purchase delivered on Saturday.
Even operating under the assumption that Saturday considered a business day within the US (it's not.) Until we perfect teleportation technology we still have to wait for the courier service to pick up outbound shipments where they will be taken back to a distribution hub, sorted, shipped out to one of many other local hubs, resorted, shipped out again and ultimately delivered to your door.
Not to mention the fact that none of that is under our control. Once you place your order online and we ship it out it's entirely in the hands of UPS or the Federal Postal Service.
For all I know they could be delivering your package via Dragon.
Even operating under the assumption that Saturday considered a business day within the US (it's not.) Until we perfect teleportation technology we still have to wait for the courier service to pick up outbound shipments where they will be taken back to a distribution hub, sorted, shipped out to one of many other local hubs, resorted, shipped out again and ultimately delivered to your door.
Not to mention the fact that none of that is under our control. Once you place your order online and we ship it out it's entirely in the hands of UPS or the Federal Postal Service.
For all I know they could be delivering your package via Dragon.