Jarek Mace said:
Also had this 'reading teacher' who was under the strange influence that I couldn't read. She kept telling me to get 'red sticker' books, which were virtually one word per page (I'm sort of hazy on the colours that indicate reading difficulty they put on kids learning books, so I may be wrong about the colour). This was in year 6 so I would've been 10-11 if I remember correctly.
I had this exact issue in years 5 and 6.
See, during our allotted reading time, we also had a little booklet. When we got to the end of a book, we had to write a page summing up the book's plot, as well as some other boring shit.
Unfortunately, I was the only one in the class who actually enjoyed reading. A lot of the time, I'd be busy reading and forget to summarize it.
Unfortunately, the head teacher (who taught my class) decided this was reason enough to keep me confined to the top shelf of basic books (all very boring. For some reason most of the non-fiction BS was there, too. Not sure why) despite the fact I was running through books faster than anyone else in the class.
When we had a supply teacher, I took the opportunity to lie through my teeth and select a book of my choice. When our teacher returned, she grudgingly allowed me to finish it. I went through it easily, but nope. Back to top shelf for this guy.
In the occasions when we were sent to another class to do group reading, and the other (11 year old) kids would be like "and so... the owl flew... from the... tree... it lan...ded on the lamp... posst--post..."[footnote]I shit you not, that actually happened.[/footnote] and I would be hitting my head on the desk at the sheer idiocy before breezing through my segment. You'd think that would have tipped her off.
Ah well, screw her. Five years later, I became a fairly minor published author, and before that in year seven I made gifted and talented because of my reading and literary skill.
Anyway, in years 10 and 11, I had an english teacher who's been on the line to lose his job simply because of how much of an arse he is to students.
He's pretty much allowed to stay on the condition he produces consistent high grades from his classes every year. Which, to his credit, he does.
But he's a fair numbskull on a lot of subjects. He'll chat with students and often describe how well travelled he apparently is. And yet, he thought Avatar had an incredible, original plot, while Inception was dull and cliched. He thought segway was the name for a disability scooter, thought barf bags were a name for parachutes, and even though he claimed to be versed in history and plays, thought a baldric was the vest that goes over plate armor.
And he demeaned students actively. He was telling us 'oh, there's this song you should listen to. It's called The Bleeding, by Five Finger Death Punch'. My friend pipes up sarcastically, 'sounds cheerful...'
He replies, 'well Andrew, some of us like that sort of music. We're not gay like you.'
Guy loved me, though. Brown nosed me all through the year because I was one of the few giving him the work quality allowing him to keep his job, with minimal input on his part. There was a time when I jokingly called him Sheila. He went along with it, and then took it out on my coursework grade. It was covered with ticks, and 'good quote's and 'good point' etc. On the back? D. Redid it though and got a better grade. Though comparing them, they're about the same in length and quality.
I did have an eccentric History teacher, who was the one member of faculty you could honestly do an impression of and people would get it in one. She used Quality Street chocolates to lure a stray cat out of one of the pigeon holes on her desk.
She was conveniently deaf due to age, but when I was explaining to someone which page to turn to, she told me to stop talking when she was. I quietly muttered 'what?' under my breath, and suddenly she was all up in my face. 'DON'T SAY 'WHAT', IT'S RUDE!'
Classic catch phrases of hers were 'That won't do, , that won't do!' and 'I'm goin't come dahn on on you lahk a ton o'bricks!'
She has a very nasally West Yorkshire accent, in case you're wondering. Her successor, who taught us History the next three years was very good and someone I was proud to learn under.
And not just because he made a hilarious appearance in a Disney advert with his surprisingly hot wife.
