Subtlety and secrets

[SamuelT]

Hi there. Me again.

"Who's this guy I don't know? - I don't know, I don't know him." Says the crowd.

I've been thinking lately. Visual media can show secret things and you're not even aware of them. For example, in Half Life 2 the Gman is constantly stalking you and you can see him at certain points in the game. They happen so fast, you might miss them but when you see him, it's very creepy and you start to feel like you're watched all the time. It's the same with Fringe, where they show an observer multiple times, but you don't spot him when you're not searching for him. They show you something that adds significantly to the atmosphere, but they don't force your face into it. You find it on your own.

But that's different in writing and books. You can't put something into the world and expect others to find it, all the readers have is what you give and show them. If you write that A man that reminded her of Gordon vanished behind a crowd of people, it's not at the least subtle, it's being blunt. If you're trying to build up to an ending in which things you've hinted at converge, putting one of that lines in it is being obvious which can lead to all the things you've been trying to hide are guessed beforehand. The ending will be less of a sruprise and therefor not as powerful.

So, I ask you would-be-writers and literature lovers with this poorly constructed sentence,

How does a book keep its secrets and hint at things without becoming too obvious?

<link=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.178480-The-only-thing-wrong-with-immortality-is-that-it-tends-to-go-on-forever>Take a gander at my last thread. Still needs imput.

 

[rezboyjoey]

Going off your HL2 example:

As Dr. Freeman rode down the canal a silhouette of a man appeared on a bridge in the distance. When he took a second look the man was gone, leaving Dr. Freeman to wonder if he had ever been there at all.

Also for your person in the crowd example: You can subtle it up a little bit by using pre-established descriptors. For example instead of saying "a man who looked like gordon" say a man in glasses and a power suit. Ok thats still pretty blunt, but the concept is sound at least.

Often times a sequence where the author leads the reader into beliving the character did or could have immagined what they saw it will create a sense of disbelief in the reader.

 

[Svenparty]

I think books can still be quite Subtle they give small clues throughout books up until the big reveal.

There are some who think that the killings in "American Psycho" are all imagined because there are always subtle hints he just took a Drug etc etc and he pretty much cannot convince people of his crimes.

This leads to Patrick Bateman confessing to a friend about killing someone and his friend telling him the impossibility since he recently had lunch with that person. This leaves the readers wondering if it was all just imagined and going back to look for subtle clues etc

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Hi there. Me again.

"Who's this guy I don't know? - I don't know, I don't know him." Says the crowd.

I've been thinking lately. Visual media can show secret things and you're not even aware of them. For example, in Half Life 2 the Gman is constantly stalking you and you can see him at certain points in the game. They happen so fast, you might miss them but when you see him, it's very creepy and you start to feel like you're watched all the time. It's the same with Fringe, where they show an observer multiple times, but you don't spot him when you're not searching for him. They show you something that adds significantly to the atmosphere, but they don't force your face into it. You find it on your own.

But that's different in writing and books. You can't put something into the world and expect others to find it, all the readers have is what you give and show them. If you write that A man that reminded her of Gordon vanished behind a crowd of people, it's not at the least subtle, it's being blunt. If you're trying to build up to an ending in which things you've hinted at converge, putting one of that lines in it is being obvious which can lead to all the things you've been trying to hide are guessed beforehand. The ending will be less of a sruprise and therefor not as powerful.

So, I ask you would-be-writers and literature lovers with this poorly constructed sentence,

How does a book keep its secrets and hint at things without becoming too obvious?

<link=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.178480-The-only-thing-wrong-with-immortality-is-that-it-tends-to-go-on-forever>Take a gander at my last thread. Still needs imput.

An interesting question...I would say when they add detail of a character's actions, which shows something to hold purpose, and that the reader should remember this, yet doesn't hint at what.
For example, uh, let's say there are two characters named Ben and Frank. If there was a passage something like 'Frank paused midway through his sentence and reached towards the peak of the shelves. His sleeve fell down revealing a small, purple scar, which caught the attention of Ben. His eyes locked onto this past wound and his eyelids seemed to flicker, squinting briefly as if searching his memory for something. Frank fumblingly covered it back up and Ben looked away as soon as he did so, embarrassment etched across his face.'
Y'see what I mean? Probably not, that was a feeble attempt.

 

[SamuelT]

An interesting question...

I would say when they add detail of a character's actions, which shows something to hold purpose, and that the reader should remember this, yet doesn't hint at what.

For example, uh, let's say there are two characters named Ben and Frank. If there was a passage something like 'Frank paused midway through his sentence and reached towards the peak of the shelves. His sleeve fell down revealing a small, purple scar, which caught the attention of Ben. His eyes locked onto this past wound and his eyelids seemed to flicker, squinting briefly as if searching his memory for something. Frank fumblingly covered it back up and Ben looked away as soon as he did so, embarrassment etched across his face.'

Y'see what I mean? Probably not, that was a feeble attempt.

Yeah, but see. There lies the problem. If there were, for example, passages before or after this particular piece about the dark arts leading to the disfiguration of the skin, you'd immediately think of this passage, where the skin is purple-ish, and if this disfiguration means that one has dabbled in the dark arts, you'd immediately know that Frank has preformed forbidden acts.

But this technique would work where one character is explaining a certain thing and when something is revealed, you'd describe the reactions of the characters. One can be completely surprised, but another character would look away out of shame, knowing that what he did was wrong, and he'd be reminded of the fact through the exposition.

Also, if you'd use the same adjectives to describe a person, place or whatever, you could hint at the similarity of the two and possibly link the two together. It leaves room for uncertainty, y'know? But there are few techniques wo can create the same effect.

*Shameless bump

 

[Frybird]

For subtle clues you could use a Motif, like a color.

For example, make some or all objects that become relevant red. If you dont make a big deal out of the description that said object is red, and instead put it into more of a passing mention, most people won't realize the hint until you point it out more clearly.

Lost (the TV Series) seems to do that with weather, specifically rain. There is a bunch of stuff you can do with motifs, just watch out that it all makes sense (if a plot relevant gun is described to be red, that's bound to stick out)


Another thing you could do is "hide" your reference by being unclear in the meaning of sentences.

In the HL2 Route Canal Example, you could write something like: "Stuck between the high walls, Gordon scanned his surroundings nervously. Strangely shaped shadows made him feel like he's being watched, a feeling all too familiar."
(Badly written, i know)

With something like that, the reader is left to interpret if either that means he feels watched by the combine, or if the "familiar feeling" is a reference to the G-Man watching all the time.
EDIT: Or, of course, if he is being watched at all. Problem with such things is that even if you use descriptions like that all the time, they might be completely misinterpreted.

 

[Devious Boomer]

Frybird, your example is still rather thrilling to read. I like the way you've incorporated the imagery to imply a subtle meaning to the reader.

 

[Devious Boomer]

Yeah, the best way to ensure that the reader understands who you're referring to is by identifying the GMan earlier on in the narrative.

 

[Doitpow]

Chekov's Gun. Imply something is a prop or atmospheric filler then make it a plot device later on. J. K. Rowling is very good at this. Think about the amulet which is a horcrux. or Quirrel's turbun.