Your review isn't bad, but you whole copy things from ZP. This isn't in style. It's just taking jokes already made and change them up a bit. Sometimes you don't even take jokes, just things he's said. Its confusing and a little silly. And mostly in places they dont work. Also, your voice is dull. Stop reading so obviously from a script and make yourself more expressive. Just look at your ship quote at the end, its laughable.
Also, get your own style. I'll say it again and again. ZP is ZP. We have a ZP. You have your own style, do that.