Tabletop failings.

[Brownie101]

Forum descriptions can be confusing and misleading. If tabletop doesn't count as "Gaming discussion" could a mod move this?

If you've ever played a Tabletop RPG, you'll have no doubt had or experienced one of those moment where either your team-mates make such blatantly stupid descisions or that roll of a 1 just flips you over the edge. Any peculiar or downright dumb stories, escapist?

Shall I start us off?
Two here: First:
Myself and 4 friends all playing DnD with a DM/GM who we all know can handle us making any descision.
We walk into an Inn.
2 friends get drunk under the table and pass out (Or start a fight and get knocked out...I don't remember that too clearly...).
A scantly-clad amazon walks into the room. One friend asks if she's single. He is promptly whacked unconscious.
A wizard comes in to give us a quest. Before anything can happen, the last remaining friend, aside from myself, insults him. He is hexed.
I was the only one left to answer the quest who wasn't in some dire trouble.

Second:
Same game, same characters.
We're doing this quest that a wizard gave us (Yes, the one I mentioned above) and we've killed all the goblins in the dungeon room except for one who begins running away from us to tell his friends. I'm the only one who can stop him with my Javelin. I throw it and roll a 1. For the 5th time consecutivly.
Hand of God took pity and re-rolled a 6. Goblin is stabbed by a javelin I threw behind me.

Your turn.

 

[Devon Dent]

ME "I will use my fireball spell."

DM "Are you sure about that."

ME "Why the hell wouldn't i do that." At this point i cast fire ball.

At this point the DM folded a note, and passed it to the oathsworn, the oathsword wrote a reply, and gave it back.

DM "Everyone in the party, take 10d6 damage."

ME "Why, they are out of range."

DM "The oathsworn was holding 200 small vials of lantern oil in hi bag of holding, you made him do it. He has been using them as missile weapons, for the last little while now, because you told him too. he had 20 left. A small bit of math tells me there is alot of oil on the floor, with both doors closed, this is the worlds largest pipebomb.

ME "Do i get my fire resistance."

Oathsworn "No, because i hate you"

DM "What he said."

 

[Keava]

After first 3 years of PnP expierience pretty much stopped playing following the rules strictly, reducing the whole maths and rolls to bare mnimum. Suprisingly it eliminated ost of idiotic situations, but before that there was plenty.

One time had a DM that really was into whole dice-rolling buisness, so we had sitations like critical hits with fork chopping off limbs, or missing a roll to cut yourself...

As for runing the cliche stories, i did that msyelf quite a lot, loved to find a flaw in DMs preparations and always, playing a chaotic characters, i looked for ways to just not allow the story progress.
One of those times we were trapped in a village surrounded by a magic field and endangered by a hobgoblin attack, the only way out was to use a set of special rings that our party managed to aquire after quite a bit of work. Being me i ofcourse found the first merchant with a big enough sack of gold willing to get out of the village and sold the rings to him thus trapping our whole party. Not long after the party was dead steamrolled by horde of hobgobs ^^

Nowadays i really do avoid a dice-rolling games. Mostly sticking to either custom settings or playing WoD where we go for as much Story Telling as possible using dices only for the most important luck based issues.

 

[GreatVladmir]

Well, in one current campaign (me n my friends run multiple campaigns at a time) I'm playing a stupid, alchoholic paladin. I'll let that sink in for a moment, I have too many failings really too list, like the fact the armour I was given is really bright, so people stare in awe at me but my char takes that (when pissed) as an insult and a fist fight insues, usually with moi winning. My party had to endup paying the poor NPC villager off to stay quite (thankfully DM agreed) and appolagising to the tavern owner but it was fun.

Another great epic failing as to be one of the first times we played, I had to make this jump over a huge ravine and well, I rolled an epic fail (1) so I plumeted to my doom, rather stupidly and all because I just got a chaos god and was well on the way to become a champion of chaos.

 

[TriggerHappyAngel]

i never had the chance to experience tabletop RPG's (my friends would laugh at me until i died, or they'd just kill me if i asked) maybe that is considered as a fail?

 

[Zacharine]

On Cyberpunk 2020, we had just managed to infiltrate a bank, get a hardline connection to their servers and hack our accounts to the brim. Plan was to go to illegal medtechs and greasemonkeys and wire us with cybernetics all the way to our brains.

As we had the money, the connections and had succeeded in our heist and knew the risks of becoming essentially robocop, the GM allowed it. The Bank would hire mercs to hunt us down, but he allowed it.

But we made once critical mistake the GM didn't warn us about: we bought the cybernetics at once, they got installed all at once as we requested.

That means all the humanity losses they caused had to be rolled at once and the process couldn't be stopped once we began to see the results: one moment we are drugged to a coma as humans, the next we wake up with everything wired and ready. All or nothing, and we had just gone for all.

Ww begin rolling, most get 3s and 4s, perhaps a 6 (on a D6) once or twice in their rolls. They are still sane, if barely.

Theen it's my turn. I roll a 6 five consecutive times, followed by 3+ for the rest. GM confiscates my char sheet (as by Humanity loss rules I just snapped and became an NPC), thinks for a while how he is going to play this and then begins telling.

We slowly wake up from the medical coma. We are hurting all over the place but functional - until my former character regains consciousness that is.

He sees the rest of the party, and immediately opens fire with everything he has: wrist-mounted flamethrowers, mini-rockets from shoulder etc. The rest of the party dies immediately, still far too weak from surgery to take that kind of punishment. My character just flipped a switch and a spefic piece of cybernetics removed all feeling of pain from me. Damage is there but as it is mostly internal and in the form of pain it doesn't affect his stats drastically anymore.

MY character rolls out and begins slaughtering people left and right. He heads straight for the city centre like a walking tank. He kills and loots a gunstore aloing the way.

He racks up a kill count of 100+, with 500+ wounded but alive, as he screams in rage and delight and drinks the blood of the meatbags barring his way.

Before he manages to reach the corporate zone and truly high concentrations of squishy fleshbags, he is shot to the head, twice, with an AT-rifle modified for sniper use.

MaxTac, local anti-cyberpsycho SWAT created for threats exactly like this, took him down with extreme predujice.

All from a few too high humanity loss rolls.

 

[Raikov]

Well... after me and a friend was being jumped by some type of witch (was playing a swedish RPG, called Eon) and barely keeping her extremely damaging attacks away (our GM is... harsh. If we make retarded choices, we die. If we roll bad, we face the consequences) her 5 friend showed up. So I tried to summon a lesser demon lord, failed the 'roll for control' and proceeded to nuke a full third of a large desert city.

Oh, and another friend had rolled lucky on his character creation and got a overpowered weapon-master with an insane amount of armour. He faced 2 already hurt NPC:s in a closet while they were carrying a large heavy chest. Of course, he fumbled, fell on the floor and got knocked unconscious by a blow to the knee.

Interestingly, one of the NPC:s carrying the chest was hurt by an unarmed priest, who punched the NPC clean through its breastplate.

I have sooo many of these...

 

[Amnestic]

Hand of God took pity and re-rolled a 6. Goblin is stabbed by a javelin I threw behind me.

Urgh, hate that. Not the rolling a 1, the fudging of a roll so the players don't get in deeper shit.

Face it, sometimes bad things happen. If you let a goblin get away, you should face the consequences. If you start fudging rolls to avoid bad things, then it starts removing any of the tension from a game. The dragon about to cleave your face off? No worries! The DM will just fudge the dice and you'll come out unscathed.

 

[Zannah]

I've witnessed an high level warrior, failing an attack so badly he fell and cracked his head on a stone, than consecutively failing his first aid check so hard, he cut out his own eye while trying to patch himself up. That guy wwas pissed I tell you...

 

[Kouen]

this all reminds me of an audio clip Ive heard once

This one:

Jokes aside Ive never had that happen as it goes xD

 

[Hutchy_Bear]

One of the party members caught hepatitus from a tavern wench, which caused him to miss a vital headshot against a daemon of Khorne. We all died.

 

[Kouen]

Hand of God took pity and re-rolled a 6. Goblin is stabbed by a javelin I threw behind me.

Urgh, hate that. Not the rolling a 1, the fudging of a roll so the players don't get in deeper shit.

Face it, sometimes bad things happen. If you let a goblin get away, you should face the consequences. If you start fudging rolls to avoid bad things, then it starts removing any of the tension from a game. The dragon about to cleave your face off? No worries! The DM will just fudge the dice and you'll come out unscathed.

Quite true, as a DM I let these things stand and as a player Ive always said no to them, admittedly im more often a DM then a Player

 

[Brownie101]

Hand of God took pity and re-rolled a 6. Goblin is stabbed by a javelin I threw behind me.

Urgh, hate that. Not the rolling a 1, the fudging of a roll so the players don't get in deeper shit.

Face it, sometimes bad things happen. If you let a goblin get away, you should face the consequences. If you start fudging rolls to avoid bad things, then it starts removing any of the tension from a game. The dragon about to cleave your face off? No worries! The DM will just fudge the dice and you'll come out unscathed.

The DM felt sorry for me. And he didn't mean to roll a six. He just picked up the dice and rolled it again for me while I went off being annoyed at my 5th 1. Fun none-the-less.