When I look at the current generation of consoles I see problems. In this series of reviews I?m going to talk about all three home consoles, as well as the two handhelds. I?ll be addressing their pros and cons by equating the console race to a 100 meter sprint, as well as ending each review with how I think these consoles can improve. I?m a biased person but I own and make use of all these consoles so all complaints I have are valid. The PC won?t be on these lists because it isn?t a console and everybody knows it owns anyway. With any luck, Sony, Nintendo and Microsoft will take a look at these reviews and heed my advice. Then maybe They?ll employ me and I?ll finally be able to make that game I?ve wanted to produce for five years and It?ll be a big hit and I?ll retire to the Scottish island, Aaron at the age of twenty and live the rest of my life as a young, eccentric recluse........here?s hoping.
If the PS3 was a contestant in the aforementioned sprint then it showed up late, pissed out of its head, Most of its fans having left the stadium. When the starting pistol was fired it took one step, broke its leg and suffered a major heart attack. The doctors took their sweet time to revive him but once they had, he employed a rocket he?d been storing up his arse and caught up with the rest of the contestants.
Despite its rocky start (especially in the UK) due to it being delayed, its huge price tag and the lack of backwards compatibility or games for that matter it really has picked up and now stands tall as my favourite console. This is due to the large amount of exclusives it has coupled with the fact that I?m dominantly a solo person and the Xbox exclusives are better for online gamers. I still enjoy the Xbox but I?ll get onto that in another review. It also has superior hardware to the Xbox allowing game developers to make bigger and prettier games for it. One example would be MAG, the 256 player online game. No Xbox game has nearly as many players as this. In fact they don?t even have as many as Killzone 2?s 32 player team death-matches. It also has superior graphical power, not by a great amount mind you but I?ve yet to find an Xbox title that can pull off a game like God of War 3. That game is a brilliant example of why the PS3 is a wonder box, specifically the battle with Cronos. Not once does the game load or experience slow down, the screen doesn?t even tear. Granted there are a few games like the Orange Box and Bayonetta that suffer from loading screen syndrome but these games are just examples of poorly done ports (especially Bayonetta). The Hard Drive is also massive, starting at 120 GB and upgradable to a massive 320 GB. This is something it definitely holds over the Xbox. The Hard Drive is built in so while it can be fiddly trying to change it at least you don?t have to buy some overpriced Microsoft Hard Drive to accompany your overpriced Microsoft wireless adaptor.
As I said earlier my reason for favouring the PS3 is its exclusives. It has got far more and far, FAR better exclusives than Rusty Gears of War or bum shrapnel awful Halo 3.........Mass Effect is brilliant though. Out of all the exclusive titles it has, the Resistance series is easily the most important. Fall of Man was one of the few launch titles that the PS3 could be proud of. Made by Insomniac, It?s no surprise that this shooter was incredibly inventive which given its subject matter (aliens invade Earth) is an incredible feat. The reason for the alien invasion was never truly explained, making the plot rather mysterious and exciting. The combat was intense thanks to inventive weapons and clever AI and while I never played it online I hear it defined online play for the PS3 until the second came along and blew most PS3 owners(and me) away with its epic campaign and record breakingly huge 64 player team-deathmatches. Resistance 2 is easily one of my favourite PS3 games and if it?s anything like the Ratchet and Clank series then the third is going to perfect every last part of the game and redefine console shooters. Other notable games include Metal Gear Solid 4, a truly epic, if not rather convoluted title that gave many people a reason to own a PS3. It?s not as good as Snake Eater but it?s still up there in the list of greatest stealth games that force maybe a little too much exposition down our throats and end up confusing us by having too many plot lines. Other notable titles include God of War 3, a game which showed off the PS3?s graphical power like none that came before it and Ratchet and Clank because it?s Ratchet and Clank. Just for the sake of bias I?m also going to name other exclusives that I didn?t like.
LittleBIGplanet (DLC)
Killzone 2 (Geriatric guns)
Infamous (shit power)
Uncharted (SSSSSSHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT)
This isn?t to say that the PS3 is perfect. Asides from looking like a big black dildo it also has one particular hardware problem. The remote!!! I never realised how crappy the PS3?s remote was till I played the Xbox. It?s too small and feels unsatisfying in my hands (insert witty wank joke here). After prolonged periods of gameplay, gamersweat causes the remote to become rather slippery. The shoulder buttons are.....well you know what they are and while this complaint may be the pettiest of the lot the analogue sticks are frickin convexes. Granted quite a few companies have released accessories to fix these problems, ranging from silicon grips, analogue caps and Gioteck Real Triggers, none of these companies were Sony so the PS3 earns back no points.
Easily the PS3?s biggest con is its online features. Now before I go into this let me just say that I think the PS3 has better online games than the Xbox. Seriously!!! Sure it doesn?t have anything with custom games to match Halo 3 but it makes up for this by being able to hold far more players. Killzone 2 can have 32 players in one team-deathmatch but manages to remain smooth and polished. Resistance 2 can have 64 players which goes miles to creating a chaotic, real war experience and despite all its short comings, MAGs 256 players create an incredible sense of scale. Better yet you don?t have to pay for Playstation Network. The reason the PS3 is always going to be inferior to the Xbox when it comes to its online play is due to its sense of community. I really don?t mind paying for Xbox Live if I get the sense of community it has. It has parties, private chat and everybody uses headphones. Sure this has several repercussions. Parties are fucking awful and headphones are always going to result in you playing with some uninformed, foul mouthed, racist twat but they do make online matches far more immersive. The PS3 has headphones but nobody uses them. This is probably due to the lack of private chat, something which is really starting to get ridiculous. Why the fuck can?t we have private chat? It?s a small touch that makes all the difference. The fact that I like it must mean that it?s a necessary addition.
Its Playstation Store also needs a serious makeover. It?s well laid out and all but it?s lacking in content. The Xbox has Indie games, Xbox Live Arcade exclusives, retro arcade games and Xbox originals. The Playstation has good DLC but it can hardly rely on LittleBIGplanet for all its exclusive content. It has few original games worth looking at with Ratchet and Clank: Quest for Booty standing out among everything else. It has a truly paltry offering of retro games which is fairly pissy when the Xbox has Doom, Duke Nukem 3D and nearly every 2D/Run-and-gun shooter ever made, oh and guys, the PS1 didn?t have many classics and you?ve done most of them. Just give us Symphony of the Night then move on to PS2 classics. I want to play Sly Raccoon on the PS3................oh sorry, did I forget Indie games............GOOD.
Improving the PS3:
The PS3 is doing a lot right so there really isn?t anything that can?t be fixed by firmware updates. Once again the remote is annoying but for less than £15 (or however many dollars that may be) you can pimp it out and make it perfect for you. I?d like to see Sony push their headsets and in my opinion, the best way to do this would be to release a firmware update that gives us private chat.... please? The Playstation Store is in dire need of more content that doesn?t involve more crappy LBP animal costumes. It certainly needs to bulk up on retro games. If Xbox Live can have Doom or Contra or every game were you flew a spaceship then why can?t the PS3? And also, yeh Sony, that?s you, we want a PS2 classics section. The only good game the Xbox had was Halo and they?ve got an Xbox Originals section. With series like Ratchet and Clank, God of War, Devil May Cry, Prince of Persia and Sly Raccoon why wouldn?t you want to include this? All in all the PS3 doesn?t have much to improve on and anything it has to fix isn?t going to require anything more drastic than a letter to Gioteck.
Hope you enjoyed this, I?ll be back soon with my Xbox review. Please comment.
If the PS3 was a contestant in the aforementioned sprint then it showed up late, pissed out of its head, Most of its fans having left the stadium. When the starting pistol was fired it took one step, broke its leg and suffered a major heart attack. The doctors took their sweet time to revive him but once they had, he employed a rocket he?d been storing up his arse and caught up with the rest of the contestants.
Despite its rocky start (especially in the UK) due to it being delayed, its huge price tag and the lack of backwards compatibility or games for that matter it really has picked up and now stands tall as my favourite console. This is due to the large amount of exclusives it has coupled with the fact that I?m dominantly a solo person and the Xbox exclusives are better for online gamers. I still enjoy the Xbox but I?ll get onto that in another review. It also has superior hardware to the Xbox allowing game developers to make bigger and prettier games for it. One example would be MAG, the 256 player online game. No Xbox game has nearly as many players as this. In fact they don?t even have as many as Killzone 2?s 32 player team death-matches. It also has superior graphical power, not by a great amount mind you but I?ve yet to find an Xbox title that can pull off a game like God of War 3. That game is a brilliant example of why the PS3 is a wonder box, specifically the battle with Cronos. Not once does the game load or experience slow down, the screen doesn?t even tear. Granted there are a few games like the Orange Box and Bayonetta that suffer from loading screen syndrome but these games are just examples of poorly done ports (especially Bayonetta). The Hard Drive is also massive, starting at 120 GB and upgradable to a massive 320 GB. This is something it definitely holds over the Xbox. The Hard Drive is built in so while it can be fiddly trying to change it at least you don?t have to buy some overpriced Microsoft Hard Drive to accompany your overpriced Microsoft wireless adaptor.
As I said earlier my reason for favouring the PS3 is its exclusives. It has got far more and far, FAR better exclusives than Rusty Gears of War or bum shrapnel awful Halo 3.........Mass Effect is brilliant though. Out of all the exclusive titles it has, the Resistance series is easily the most important. Fall of Man was one of the few launch titles that the PS3 could be proud of. Made by Insomniac, It?s no surprise that this shooter was incredibly inventive which given its subject matter (aliens invade Earth) is an incredible feat. The reason for the alien invasion was never truly explained, making the plot rather mysterious and exciting. The combat was intense thanks to inventive weapons and clever AI and while I never played it online I hear it defined online play for the PS3 until the second came along and blew most PS3 owners(and me) away with its epic campaign and record breakingly huge 64 player team-deathmatches. Resistance 2 is easily one of my favourite PS3 games and if it?s anything like the Ratchet and Clank series then the third is going to perfect every last part of the game and redefine console shooters. Other notable games include Metal Gear Solid 4, a truly epic, if not rather convoluted title that gave many people a reason to own a PS3. It?s not as good as Snake Eater but it?s still up there in the list of greatest stealth games that force maybe a little too much exposition down our throats and end up confusing us by having too many plot lines. Other notable titles include God of War 3, a game which showed off the PS3?s graphical power like none that came before it and Ratchet and Clank because it?s Ratchet and Clank. Just for the sake of bias I?m also going to name other exclusives that I didn?t like.
LittleBIGplanet (DLC)
Killzone 2 (Geriatric guns)
Infamous (shit power)
Uncharted (SSSSSSHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT)
This isn?t to say that the PS3 is perfect. Asides from looking like a big black dildo it also has one particular hardware problem. The remote!!! I never realised how crappy the PS3?s remote was till I played the Xbox. It?s too small and feels unsatisfying in my hands (insert witty wank joke here). After prolonged periods of gameplay, gamersweat causes the remote to become rather slippery. The shoulder buttons are.....well you know what they are and while this complaint may be the pettiest of the lot the analogue sticks are frickin convexes. Granted quite a few companies have released accessories to fix these problems, ranging from silicon grips, analogue caps and Gioteck Real Triggers, none of these companies were Sony so the PS3 earns back no points.
Easily the PS3?s biggest con is its online features. Now before I go into this let me just say that I think the PS3 has better online games than the Xbox. Seriously!!! Sure it doesn?t have anything with custom games to match Halo 3 but it makes up for this by being able to hold far more players. Killzone 2 can have 32 players in one team-deathmatch but manages to remain smooth and polished. Resistance 2 can have 64 players which goes miles to creating a chaotic, real war experience and despite all its short comings, MAGs 256 players create an incredible sense of scale. Better yet you don?t have to pay for Playstation Network. The reason the PS3 is always going to be inferior to the Xbox when it comes to its online play is due to its sense of community. I really don?t mind paying for Xbox Live if I get the sense of community it has. It has parties, private chat and everybody uses headphones. Sure this has several repercussions. Parties are fucking awful and headphones are always going to result in you playing with some uninformed, foul mouthed, racist twat but they do make online matches far more immersive. The PS3 has headphones but nobody uses them. This is probably due to the lack of private chat, something which is really starting to get ridiculous. Why the fuck can?t we have private chat? It?s a small touch that makes all the difference. The fact that I like it must mean that it?s a necessary addition.
Its Playstation Store also needs a serious makeover. It?s well laid out and all but it?s lacking in content. The Xbox has Indie games, Xbox Live Arcade exclusives, retro arcade games and Xbox originals. The Playstation has good DLC but it can hardly rely on LittleBIGplanet for all its exclusive content. It has few original games worth looking at with Ratchet and Clank: Quest for Booty standing out among everything else. It has a truly paltry offering of retro games which is fairly pissy when the Xbox has Doom, Duke Nukem 3D and nearly every 2D/Run-and-gun shooter ever made, oh and guys, the PS1 didn?t have many classics and you?ve done most of them. Just give us Symphony of the Night then move on to PS2 classics. I want to play Sly Raccoon on the PS3................oh sorry, did I forget Indie games............GOOD.
Improving the PS3:
The PS3 is doing a lot right so there really isn?t anything that can?t be fixed by firmware updates. Once again the remote is annoying but for less than £15 (or however many dollars that may be) you can pimp it out and make it perfect for you. I?d like to see Sony push their headsets and in my opinion, the best way to do this would be to release a firmware update that gives us private chat.... please? The Playstation Store is in dire need of more content that doesn?t involve more crappy LBP animal costumes. It certainly needs to bulk up on retro games. If Xbox Live can have Doom or Contra or every game were you flew a spaceship then why can?t the PS3? And also, yeh Sony, that?s you, we want a PS2 classics section. The only good game the Xbox had was Halo and they?ve got an Xbox Originals section. With series like Ratchet and Clank, God of War, Devil May Cry, Prince of Persia and Sly Raccoon why wouldn?t you want to include this? All in all the PS3 doesn?t have much to improve on and anything it has to fix isn?t going to require anything more drastic than a letter to Gioteck.
Hope you enjoyed this, I?ll be back soon with my Xbox review. Please comment.
