TECHNOlogically retarded. PLEASE HELP!

[soperg]

Oh crap, do you mean your XP as a whole computer or as a shiny disc in a shiny box? I assumed you meant Windows XP i.e. a CD ROM?

as a computer. i haven't installed any service pack and I BLOODY WELL CAN"T TIL THE INTERNET WORKS!

 

[MagicMouse]

Spoiler: Snip

"You need to be more clear in your original post.

Did you just install XP on the machine?
Was the computer working when it was given to you?
Are you connecting it to a router, or a modem, and what kind?

We can't just magically know what is wrong without knowing what is going on first."

first two points were made ABUNDANTLY CLEAR! i had said an >>>>>XP<<<<< was given to me 2 years ago. obviously it was working or my parents wouldn't have given it to me. and yes, i should have been more clear on that. i have a router, it is fine physically, the computer also, i spent 2 hours poring over electrical blueprints for the bloody thing."[/spoiler]

The confusing this is that you referred to an ENTIRE machine as XP, which is JUST an operating system. Thus it seemed like you were given an XP disk, which you then installed on a working machine.

If you haven't already, try connecting directly to the modem, that will eliminate anything caused by the router as a problem.

 

[Mikester1290]

OK, now I got you, I didn't realise, when people say XP I generaly assume the disc in a box. Sorry 'bout that.

No need to shout though. We're trying to help you.

 

[soperg]

but i didn't need them to go on the mac. is PC really so retarded it can't just say " OMG INTERNETZ! *build masterpiece*

Sure. Get Windows 7.

Did you check your network adaptor driver like other have asked? Tried setting your IP and DNS settings to obtain automatically?

oh ya, windows 7. that 224 MINIMUM DOLLAR COMPUTER PROGRAM! YOU THINK I HAVE MONEY???? I WRITING A FUCKING MASTER"S THESIS! TO AFFORD TO STAY IN THIS SCHOOL AND AFFORD TO STAVE OF STARVATION AND MALNUTRITION I NEED TO DO EVERYTHING SHORT OF WHORE MYSELF OUT TO THE GENERAL POPULACE OF THE CAMPUS!

 

[soperg]

OK, now I got you, I didn't realise, when people say XP I generaly assume the disc in a box. Sorry 'bout that.

No need to shout though. We're trying to help you.

that was rash, i agree, but spending most of your night getting your old computer you picked out of your storage up and running isn't a pleasant day for me. little frustrated, just a bit.

 

[Mikester1290]

Yeah, I understand, don't worry about it. I've been there. Just look back the forum and read my posts carefully, they may help you, or not. Just have a go.

 

[Hateren47]

but i didn't need them to go on the mac. is PC really so retarded it can't just say " OMG INTERNETZ! *build masterpiece*

Sure. Get Windows 7.

Did you check your network adaptor driver like other have asked? Tried setting your IP and DNS settings to obtain automatically?

oh ya, windows 7. that 224 MINIMUM DOLLAR COMPUTER PROGRAM! YOU THINK I HAVE MONEY???? I WRITING A FUCKING MASTER"S THESIS! TO AFFORD TO STAY IN THIS SCHOOL AND AFFORD TO STAVE OF STARVATION AND MALNUTRITION I NEED TO DO EVERYTHING SHORT OF WHORE MYSELF OUT TO THE GENERAL POPULACE OF THE CAMPUS!

Bah, 7 is better than food and/or your virginity. Anyway I think you have more serious problems than figuring out how to use a PC so now I'm not even going to bother. You didn't even bother to actually check anything posted in the thread, did you?

Edit:
Fine, I bothered myself. Windows 7 pro $65 Student Offer [http://www.microsoft.com/student/en/us/windows/buynow/default.aspx]. You're a student, right?

 

[smearyllama]

Maybe you could look on another forum? There are some out there that would be willing to help.
I, myself, have no idea what's going on, so you might want to check there.
Also, tech support threads are usually overlooked.

I do have a few ideas that might help.
A. Is your central modem on?
B. What color is your computer? Computers that aren't pink won't connect to the interwebs.
C. Google your plobrem, and you might find some better help than me.

ARE YOU SHITTING ME? i already googled the fucking problem! thats why i came to get HUMAN advice! because none of the techies i spent 3 hours talking to or the electrical blueprints i spent 2 hours poring over have anything useful!

Sorry, I started composing my post, and other people had posted while I was writing.
Also, chill man.

 

[Mikester1290]

but i didn't need them to go on the mac. is PC really so retarded it can't just say " OMG INTERNETZ! *build masterpiece*

Sure. Get Windows 7.

Did you check your network adaptor driver like other have asked? Tried setting your IP and DNS settings to obtain automatically?

oh ya, windows 7. that 224 MINIMUM DOLLAR COMPUTER PROGRAM! YOU THINK I HAVE MONEY???? I WRITING A FUCKING MASTER"S THESIS! TO AFFORD TO STAY IN THIS SCHOOL AND AFFORD TO STAVE OF STARVATION AND MALNUTRITION I NEED TO DO EVERYTHING SHORT OF WHORE MYSELF OUT TO THE GENERAL POPULACE OF THE CAMPUS!

Bah, 7 is better than food and/or your virginity. Anyway I think you have more serious problems than figuring out how to use a PC so now I'm not even going to bother. You didn't even bother to actually check anything posted in the thread, did you?

Edit:
Fine, I bothered myself. Windows 7 pro $65 Student Offer [http://www.microsoft.com/student/en/us/windows/buynow/default.aspx]. You're a student, right?

You're so damned right, why bother with XP, but I guess the guy just wants to play internet on his XP tonite, and who can blame the guy?

 

[soperg]

but i didn't need them to go on the mac. is PC really so retarded it can't just say " OMG INTERNETZ! *build masterpiece*

Sure. Get Windows 7.

Did you check your network adaptor driver like other have asked? Tried setting your IP and DNS settings to obtain automatically?

oh ya, windows 7. that 224 MINIMUM DOLLAR COMPUTER PROGRAM! YOU THINK I HAVE MONEY???? I WRITING A FUCKING MASTER"S THESIS! TO AFFORD TO STAY IN THIS SCHOOL AND AFFORD TO STAVE OF STARVATION AND MALNUTRITION I NEED TO DO EVERYTHING SHORT OF WHORE MYSELF OUT TO THE GENERAL POPULACE OF THE CAMPUS!

Bah, 7 is better than food and/or your virginity. Anyway I think you have more serious problems than figuring out how to use a PC so now I'm not even going to bother. You didn't even bother to actually check anything posted in the thread, did you?

Edit:
Fine, I bothered myself. Windows 7 pro $65 Student Offer [http://www.microsoft.com/student/en/us/windows/buynow/default.aspx]. You're a student, right?

^refer to above statement of poorness^

 

[lacktheknack]

Stop... being... a douche.

I was going to help, but you're so antagonistic that I don't want to any more.

 

[Hateren47]

^refer to above statement of poorness^

Does your computer have a brand and model name?

 

[Mikester1290]

Steal your dads wallet, this will will not only make the internet problem go away, but it will also make you warm and happy inside.

Giving a crappy old XP computer to your kid could be considered an insult or lack of insight on the grups behalf. Therefore you must take matters (dads wallet) into your own hands!

 

[Gasaraki]

For fuck's sake, if you're expecting people to help you then you should
1. Actually try some of the steps that people have suggested.
2. Be more specific.
3. STOP FUCKING YELLING.

Thank you.

 

[soperg]

Steal your dads wallet, this will will not only make the internet problem go away, but it will also make you warm and happy inside.

Giving a crappy old XP computer to your kid could be considered an insult or lack of insight on the grups behalf. Therefore you must take matters (dads wallet) into your own hands!

yes warm and happy from the not-soup-kitchen -soup in my stomach. now if only i could extend my arms 300 miles and disengage his spider-sense like power of knowing when something of his is getting nicked.

 

[katsumoto03]

Jeez guy, simmer down.

Are you saying your computer is nine years old? 'Cause I may have an idea of what's wrong...

Also, for someone writing a Masters Thesis, your grammar is lacking.

 

[Mikester1290]

For fuck's sake, if you're expecting people to help you then you should
1. Actually try some of the steps that people have suggested.
2. Be more specific.
3. STOP FUCKING YELLING.

Thank you.

He said right from the start he is basically a noob, he also apologised for shouting in a forum, and has also specified what he meant by an XP.

Read the whole post before you say something that may offend, please be a little more understanding of the guy.

 

[soperg]

For fuck's sake, if you're expecting people to help you then you should
1. Actually try some of the steps that people have suggested.
2. Be more specific.
3. STOP FUCKING YELLING.

Thank you.

done it
done it
working on it but hard to do when i run into idiots like you.

 

[soperg]

Jeez guy, simmer down.

Are you saying your computer is nine years old? 'Cause I may have an idea of what's wrong...

Also, for someone writing a Masters Thesis, your grammar is lacking.

FUCKING. GRAMMAR. NAZI'S. my hate for your kind is undying.

 

[Mikester1290]

Steal your dads wallet, this will will not only make the internet problem go away, but it will also make you warm and happy inside.

Giving a crappy old XP computer to your kid could be considered an insult or lack of insight on the grups behalf. Therefore you must take matters (dads wallet) into your own hands!

yes warm and happy from the not-soup-kitchen -soup in my stomach. now if only i could extend my arms 300 miles and disengage his spider-sense like power of knowing when something of his is getting nicked.

I know, but you know I'm only kidding.