TECHNOlogically retarded. PLEASE HELP!

[Super Toast]

O M G read the damned post! it was XP 9 EFFING YEARS AGO! GOD! learn to read! srsly...

Looks like we've got an internet tough guy in our midst. Seriously kid, get the fuck out. Go on 4chan or something.

 

[soperg]

*snip*

So every-thing's fine physically, how about software?
The router might have come with a disc with device drivers have these been installed? (assuming you have them)

but i didn't need them to go on the mac. is PC really so retarded it can't just say " OMG INTERNETZ! *build masterpiece*

Macs have standardized hardware, thus the same drivers in every Mac of a certain model. It's the same reason you shouldn't have an issue with a brand new brand-name PC. As it is, assuming it's not a brand name, you might need to find and install drivers.

Also, I know you said you checked everything, but you might want to make absolutely sure the network adaptor is completely in it's slot. These things shift over time. Not a lot, but on an older computer it could be just enough to make it not work.

as a side not, NOT. A. NEW. PC. just had to remind you of that.

Hence my second point about the possibility of the card shifting.

^reference to earlier point of poorness^

 

[Gasaraki]

*snip*

So every-thing's fine physically, how about software?
The router might have come with a disc with device drivers have these been installed? (assuming you have them)

but i didn't need them to go on the mac. is PC really so retarded it can't just say " OMG INTERNETZ! *build masterpiece*

Macs have standardized hardware, thus the same drivers in every Mac of a certain model. It's the same reason you shouldn't have an issue with a brand new brand-name PC. As it is, assuming it's not a brand name, you might need to find and install drivers.

Also, I know you said you checked everything, but you might want to make absolutely sure the network adaptor is completely in it's slot. These things shift over time. Not a lot, but on an older computer it could be just enough to make it not work.

as a side not, NOT. A. NEW. PC. just had to remind you of that.

Hence my second point about the possibility of the card shifting.

^reference to earlier point of poorness^

He didn't ask you to buy a new one, just to check if it's still inserted right.

 

[soperg]

*snip*

So every-thing's fine physically, how about software?
The router might have come with a disc with device drivers have these been installed? (assuming you have them)

but i didn't need them to go on the mac. is PC really so retarded it can't just say " OMG INTERNETZ! *build masterpiece*

Macs have standardized hardware, thus the same drivers in every Mac of a certain model. It's the same reason you shouldn't have an issue with a brand new brand-name PC. As it is, assuming it's not a brand name, you might need to find and install drivers.

Also, I know you said you checked everything, but you might want to make absolutely sure the network adaptor is completely in it's slot. These things shift over time. Not a lot, but on an older computer it could be just enough to make it not work.

as a side not, NOT. A. NEW. PC. just had to remind you of that.

Hence my second point about the possibility of the card shifting.

^reference to earlier point of poorness^

He didn't ask you to buy a new one, just to check if it's still inserted right.

oh, lol, duh. k one sec, which card? techno-gibberish is a language i don't speak well after 9.5 hours of this.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

He didn't ask you to buy a new one, just to check if it's still inserted right.

Always a good policy to make sure everything is properly seated in its slots if the puter has been in storage for a while or has been moved around a lot.

Anytime I have to work on an old rig I pull all the parts out and reseat them, same with all the connectors, too. Makes it easier to troubleshoot if you know everything is connected properly.

 

[Cain_Zeros]

*snip*

So every-thing's fine physically, how about software?
The router might have come with a disc with device drivers have these been installed? (assuming you have them)

but i didn't need them to go on the mac. is PC really so retarded it can't just say " OMG INTERNETZ! *build masterpiece*

Macs have standardized hardware, thus the same drivers in every Mac of a certain model. It's the same reason you shouldn't have an issue with a brand new brand-name PC. As it is, assuming it's not a brand name, you might need to find and install drivers.

Also, I know you said you checked everything, but you might want to make absolutely sure the network adaptor is completely in it's slot. These things shift over time. Not a lot, but on an older computer it could be just enough to make it not work.

as a side not, NOT. A. NEW. PC. just had to remind you of that.

Hence my second point about the possibility of the card shifting.

^reference to earlier point of poorness^

You can open up the computer and make sure it's seated right.If it's not, you can seat it right. No money needed.

Edit: the card your USB cable goes into the port on. Also, very important, make sure the computer is off and unplugged before you do this, and try to get rid of any static you might have built up. Wouldn't want to fry yourself or the card.

 

[soperg]

*snip*

So every-thing's fine physically, how about software?
The router might have come with a disc with device drivers have these been installed? (assuming you have them)

but i didn't need them to go on the mac. is PC really so retarded it can't just say " OMG INTERNETZ! *build masterpiece*

Macs have standardized hardware, thus the same drivers in every Mac of a certain model. It's the same reason you shouldn't have an issue with a brand new brand-name PC. As it is, assuming it's not a brand name, you might need to find and install drivers.

Also, I know you said you checked everything, but you might want to make absolutely sure the network adaptor is completely in it's slot. These things shift over time. Not a lot, but on an older computer it could be just enough to make it not work.

as a side not, NOT. A. NEW. PC. just had to remind you of that.

Hence my second point about the possibility of the card shifting.

^reference to earlier point of poorness^

You can open up the computer and make sure it's seated right.If it's not, you can seat it right. No money needed.

Edit: the card your USB cable goes into the port on. Also, very important, make sure the computer is off and unplugged before you do this, and try to get rid of any static you might have built up. Wouldn't want to fry yourself or the card.

well some of the people on here might want me to.

 

[TheComedown]

For fuck's sake, if you're expecting people to help you then you should
1. Actually try some of the steps that people have suggested.
2. Be more specific.
3. STOP FUCKING YELLING.

Thank you.

done it
done it
working on it but hard to do when i run into idiots like you.

Are you a troll? I believe you're a troll, an incredibly poorly worded and misleading OP, lots of yelling and swearing. You're not even trying to help those trying to help you, you just yell at them and call them stupid.

So either you're trolling or just really stupid.

People aren't going to want to help people who won't help themselves.

 

[Cain_Zeros]

*snip*

So every-thing's fine physically, how about software?
The router might have come with a disc with device drivers have these been installed? (assuming you have them)

but i didn't need them to go on the mac. is PC really so retarded it can't just say " OMG INTERNETZ! *build masterpiece*

Macs have standardized hardware, thus the same drivers in every Mac of a certain model. It's the same reason you shouldn't have an issue with a brand new brand-name PC. As it is, assuming it's not a brand name, you might need to find and install drivers.

Also, I know you said you checked everything, but you might want to make absolutely sure the network adaptor is completely in it's slot. These things shift over time. Not a lot, but on an older computer it could be just enough to make it not work.

as a side not, NOT. A. NEW. PC. just had to remind you of that.

Hence my second point about the possibility of the card shifting.

^reference to earlier point of poorness^

You can open up the computer and make sure it's seated right.If it's not, you can seat it right. No money needed.

Edit: the card your USB cable goes into the port on. Also, very important, make sure the computer is off and unplugged before you do this, and try to get rid of any static you might have built up. Wouldn't want to fry yourself or the card.

well some of the people on here might want me to.

Perhaps, but you don't. Also, that should've said the card with the port for your Ethernet cable.

 

[Tibike77]

Ok, first off, I have tried to read all you wrote, but it gives surprisingly little information as to what the actual situation is, so don't get mad if some of the stuff I ask might seem stupid to you or might even sound as if you already answered them already (in that case, reread the exact phrasing just in case).

Preamble : probably not that important, but needs to be asked anyway, for clarification's sake...
This old machine with XP on it, was it ever connected to a network and/or the Internet before, in this exact software configuration ? If yes, what has changed in the way you connect it ? Different router/modem ? Different ISP ? Have you fiddled with the network drivers maybe ?
And another thing that needs clarification - you said a friend's computer first, but after that you said you're using the same internet connection. So does that mean you physically borrowed the computer which is now on the same network ? Hopefully yes, and hopefully a windows machine... because that WOULD help (you'll see below why).


Now, onwards to the important stuff.

First, you need to make absolutely sure that physically everything is ok.
Most network cards (and even onboard cards) have at least one LED very close to the point where you stick the socket in. Does that light's on/off status change when you physically plug the network cord in ? The other end of that particular cord plugged into the router (or whatever it is you have on the other end of it), do the lights on it change when you plug in the cable into the PC ? Have somebody over the modem if in a different room tell you if that happens (or remember the light status, plug in, recheck, plug out, recheck, see if it's consistent).
If you're relatively convinced that physically everything is ok by this little test, proceed to step 2.

Step 2 : make sure the network card drivers are registering the fact you plugged in your network cable.
It's been a few months since I touched an XP machine, so I don't remember exactly where that is, but I can only assume somewhere in control panel you will find the network settings. If you haven't already done so, make it so that the network card system tray icon is ALWAYS displayed.
After you can see the network card icon, plug in and unplug the network cable a few times, see if it actually registers you plugging it in. Should be easy to figure it out since the icon should be changing and even some tooltip-like popups should appear on it.
If you're convinced that the network card drivers themselves are ok, proceed to step 3.

Step 3 : you will need another (preferably windows) machine on the same network.
Any other machine will do, but I can only tell you how to get the needed information from a windows machine, so if you have no other machine there it could be a bit tricky.
You will repeat the exact procedure on the XP PC with the problems, and you will compare the results. If you see anything different, you will duplicate whatever settings you see on the machine where stuff works onto the machine with the problems, but remember to change (preferably increment by one) the number listed for the local machine IP (and only that number).
What you will need to do is pretty simple...
Start -> Run -> type "cmd" (without the quotes) and press enter -> type "ipconfig /all" (again without the quotes) and hit enter.
A rather large list of stuff should appear, and you should be able to figure things out from there.
If you can't, you can always copypaste it all in a txt file, take it on something to the machine connected to the internet and paste everything in here so we get more info.


Well, hope that helps figure it out by yourself, if not, let us know what went wrong so we can give you more details.

 

[soperg]

For fuck's sake, if you're expecting people to help you then you should
1. Actually try some of the steps that people have suggested.
2. Be more specific.
3. STOP FUCKING YELLING.

Thank you.

done it
done it
working on it but hard to do when i run into idiots like you.

Are you a troll? I believe you're a troll, an incredibly poorly worded and misleading OP, lots of yelling and swearing. You're not even trying to help those trying to help you, you just yell at them and call them stupid.

So either you're trolling or just really stupid.

People aren't going to want to help people who won't help themselves.

no, the reason im hating is because they are either asking questions already answered or... well that about it. look at each individual post i've hated on and not hated on. you will see i like people whom don't ask the same questions. i have answered in the beginning of the forum, and those whom ask VALID QUESTIONS or give VALID SOLUTIONS i don't hate on. and if YOU read the beginning thread instead of all of the hate between their and here, you'd realize i wasted a good portion of my day doing this shit. tyvm

 

[soperg]

Ok, first off, I have tried to read all you wrote, but it gives surprisingly little information as to what the actual situation is, so don't get mad if some of the stuff I ask might seem stupid to you or might even sound as if you already answered them already (in that case, reread the exact phrasing just in case).

Preamble : probably not that important, but needs to be asked anyway, for clarification's sake...
This old machine with XP on it, was it ever connected to a network and/or the Internet before, in this exact software configuration ? If yes, what has changed in the way you connect it ? Different router/modem ? Different ISP ? Have you fiddled with the network drivers maybe ?
And another thing that needs clarification - you said a friend's computer first, but after that you said you're using the same internet connection. So does that mean you physically borrowed the computer which is now on the same network ? Hopefully yes, and hopefully a windows machine... because that WOULD help (you'll see below why).


Now, onwards to the important stuff.

First, you need to make absolutely sure that physically everything is ok.
Most network cards (and even onboard cards) have at least one LED very close to the point where you stick the socket in. Does that light's on/off status change when you physically plug the network cord in ? The other end of that particular cord plugged into the router (or whatever it is you have on the other end of it), do the lights on it change when you plug in the cable into the PC ? Have somebody over the modem if in a different room tell you if that happens (or remember the light status, plug in, recheck, plug out, recheck, see if it's consistent).
If you're relatively convinced that physically everything is ok by this little test, proceed to step 2.

Step 2 : make sure the network card drivers are registering the fact you plugged in your network cable.
It's been a few months since I touched an XP machine, so I don't remember exactly where that is, but I can only assume somewhere in control panel you will find the network settings. If you haven't already done so, make it so that the network card system tray icon is ALWAYS displayed.
After you can see the network card icon, plug in and unplug the network cable a few times, see if it actually registers you plugging it in. Should be easy to figure it out since the icon should be changing and even some tooltip-like popups should appear on it.
If you're convinced that the network card drivers themselves are ok, proceed to step 3.

Step 3 : you will need another (preferably windows) machine on the same network.
Any other machine will do, but I can only tell you how to get the needed information from a windows machine, so if you have no other machine there it could be a bit tricky.
You will repeat the exact procedure on the XP PC with the problems, and you will compare the results. If you see anything different, you will duplicate whatever settings you see on the machine where stuff works onto the machine with the problems, but remember to change (preferably increment by one) the number listed for the local machine IP (and only that number).
What you will need to do is pretty simple...
Start -> Run -> type "cmd" (without the quotes) and press enter -> type "ipconfig /all" (again without the quotes) and hit enter.
A rather large list of stuff should appear, and you should be able to figure things out from there.
If you can't, you can always copypaste it all in a txt file, take it on something to the machine connected to the internet and paste everything in here so we get more info.


Well, hope that helps figure it out by yourself, if not, let us know what went wrong so we can give you more details.

TL;DR? thats what your telling me? im sorry but i can't help but laugh, you say that yet you practically type out the windows XP manual to me. sorry but i had to point and laugh.but seriously it was connected, no i think i fiddled with some option when i didn't plug in the power cause i was that stupid. so pretty much everythings different except that electrical layout of the computer.

 

[Deleted]

First you need to get an internet service provider and start paying for internet. They give you a modem (little box) to connect your computer and phone line to which magically gives you internet.

Assuming I read wrong and you're past all these stages, explain more about the moden and internet service provider.

you did read wrong. im paying 30 dollars a month for internet from shaw and i know how the internet works, if you read my openning thread, you will realize i put 8, possibly 9 hours into studying the connections from wall to computer monitor and that the internet IS CONFIRMED WORKING BECAUSE IM USING IT RIGHT NOW you ILLITERATE ASS.

Alright, I understand how this is frustrating. But keep it off the forums, people are helping you because they feel like it.

Can you connect to your home network but can't go on. OR can yo not even connect to your modem? There's a big difference.

 

[TheComedown]

no, the reason im hating is because they are either asking questions already answered or... well that about it. look at each individual post i've hated on and not hated on. you will see i like people whom don't ask the same questions. i have answered in the beginning of the forum, and those whom ask VALID QUESTIONS or give VALID SOLUTIONS i don't hate on. and if YOU read the beginning thread instead of all of the hate between their and here, you'd realize i wasted a good portion of my day doing this shit. tyvm

What are you thanking me for, I'm not helping you people keep asking questions because your answers are too vague, don't give enough detail, don't give the right details etc. So their questions are valid questions. For a masters student or whatever it was, you have atrocious grammar and literary skills, your grammar and phrasing of statements is really quite hard to understand in places and this is another reason people are asking the same thing over and over again.

 

[Tibike77]

TL;DR? thats what your telling me? im sorry but i can't help but laugh, you say that yet you practically type out the windows XP manual to me. sorry but i had to point and laugh.but seriously it was connected, no i think i fiddled with some option when i didn't plug in the power cause i was that stupid. so pretty much everythings different except that electrical layout of the computer.

Let me put it another way : when you say "SERIOUSLY IT WAS CONNECTED", that can mean one of three different things, and each of those three different things (the cable is recognized as plugged in but only at one end, the cable is physically recognized as plugged in by both ends but the software doesn't recognize it, or everything recognizes it but the network settings are inadequate) could lead to a different solution.
As long as you do not specify CLEARLY which one of those three things happened when you tout that "it was connected" how exactly are we supposed to help you ?

We're not telepathic nor omniscient, our hints to you are only as good as your feedback is, and your feedback sucks badly so far.
If any of us could come there and look at it, it would probably get fixed in 5 minutes, but we have to contend with a self-professed technologically challenged and hostile individual as a organic troubleshooting remote.
If you don't start becoming more compliant, you will not get any CLEAR answers from us, because we can't possibly be expected to guess what the actual problem is.

Basically, you admit you don't know much about computers, and when somebody tries to give you a detailed description of what COULD possibly be wrong in order to help you determine and fix the problem, you lash out at them ?
If you can't be freakin' bothered to FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS GIVEN STEP BY STEP and tell us WHERE the problem is exactly so we can narrow it down even more... then not just I, but we as a whole can't be bothered to try and help you.
Go get some paid on-site assistance and abuse them verbally instead.
Jerk.

Or to put it in words you might be able to understand (because I'll be using phrases almost identical to yours):
"thats what your telling me? im sorry but i can't help but laugh, you say you're technologically retarded yet you practically refuse to do anything anybody that tries to help you says. sorry but i had to point and laugh.but seriously if you don't narrow down the problem cause you are that stupid, nobody can do anything about it. so pretty much everything about your attitude needs to change before you'll receive any more GOOD help".