You are right, his choice of dress might have been why he was bullied. And a women in a short skirt might have been raped for the same reason. Telling the victim to change their clothes though is not the right way to do things, as it blames them for the way others treat them and the crimes done to them. If I want to dress like a clown, I STILL expect to be able to have a safe environment to do my school work and not live in fear. Ostracization, certainly, but not threats, violence or the like.CriticKitten said:It's been noted that the entire reason he was being bullied is because he "looks gay". So why exactly is it wrong to point this fact out to the child, and to suggest to him that if he adjusts his dress, that the problem might go away? No one's saying "stop being gay, kid!", and the school isn't even forcing him to change his dress if he doesn't want to. But his dress is something that he can choose to change, and so telling him "hey, I know you're expressing yourself, but I think your choice of outfits might be part of the reason they're targeting you" is NOT a statement that is intended to offend him or force him to conform to "social norms". If he wants to dress that way anyways, fine, but this is a situation that he could have potentially defused without even involving security or the school. He never actually TRIED this to see if it would work, so we'll never know if it would have worked or not, though I'm certain you'll both happily argue until you're blue in the face that it wouldn't have worked. I, on the other hand, won't, because it's a hypothetical that has already passed. He chose not to try, so we'll never know.
You can not make excuses like this for why people are abused as though the victim is the one who needs to change. The rules apply to everyone and in school, this includes a safe environment free from abuse. Saying the kid should have shut up and sit down only validates the actions of the bullies in the exact same way saying a woman should have dressed head to toe in thick wools would validate a rapist.
Go ahead and tell a cop you will beat him up. Or a crowded theater you'll set it on fire. Just because they might be empty threats does not make them less serious. You can still get in trouble for making them, and NO ONE should receive them. They create stressful environments and can do psychological trama if the victim legitimately believes them. The fact of if they were going to follow through or not doesn't matter much when they victimize the kid, crowd around him and make threatening behavior enough that he felt, after all other avenues had failed, he had to take a stun gun. But nice to see you taking the high road about his mental stability and assuming he was aware he was breaking the law. A stun gun is a tool for deterrent, non-lethal and used by police to take down people. They are also perfectly legal. For all we know, he could have thought it acceptable. There is also a case that could be made about how the "law" refused to act in this case to the point he presumed he had to act for survival.And again, the article doesn't state that he has received any sort of actions against him beyond generic "I'm gonna beat you up" verbal threats. I'd point out that these sorts of threats occur every single day in every single school in the United States, and are rarely honest-to-god threats. Bringing a stun gun to school so that you can scare the bully away with a weapon is hardly what I'd call the reaction of a mentally stable individual, or a responsible parent. Were my kid in the same situation, I'd be teaching him how to fight and defend himself from attackers, NOT giving him a weapon. That teaches him that the law isn't important so long as you think you have a good reason for breaking it.
But no, keep on telling yourself the bullies were alright to pick on the kid because he didn't conform to their norms, keep telling yourself that threats and the stress and trama they can cause is just harmless. Keep telling yourself the kid acted in spite of the law instead of in ignorance of it, or if indeed in spite, then out of lack of options. The go and apply that logic to hate crimes or rape victims and see how far it goes.