Patrick Whack, a bank teller, was at his window one day when to his surprise up walks a frog asking for a loan. "How much do you need?", he asks, once he's got over the shock of a talking frog. "£500,000" says the frog. "That's a lot of money... what kind of collateral can you put up?" Without another word the frog takes a small ceramic white elephant out of his pocket and slides it across. "Look, if you're not going to take this seriously, Mr, uh..?" "Jagger. Kermit Jagger. I know the manager, and if you talk to him I'm sure he can sort this out." So Patrick goes into the back room and finds the bank manager. "You won't believe this. There's a frog at my window, says his name is Kermit Jagger, and he wants to borrow 500k against this.... thing! I mean, what the hell is that, anyway?" The manager takes a look, sighs, and says,
"It's a knick-knack, Paddy Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"
A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender says "No soap, radio!"
Did you hear the one about the farmer?
Nevermind, it's corny
A man wanted to buy 99 bricks, but the store only sold them in packs of 100. After the man built his wall with 99 bricks, he just casually threw it over his shoulder.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't.
There are 2 types of people in the world: those with short term memory loss and tho- *walks away*
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
It got hit by a falling brick.
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