Tell me why people hate Hickeys!

[Jaranja]

I don't really know why hickey's are so bad... but then again, I've never been given one before.

[sub]so alone... *sniff*[/sub]

[sub]*cuddles up to Simalacrum* Me too *whimpers*[/sub]

Unless you're showing them off to everyone, I have no problem with hickeys.

 

[BringBackBuck]

We just want to get tacos and go home without seeing the results of your sloppy significant other.

That's your answer right there. And phrased so eloquently too...

 

[Arawn.Chernobog]

Because some people are just jealous that you have an active and enjoyable love life while they're either in a loveless marriage or alone.

Either that or their religion claims that anything "fun" is the work of some evil entity that they can't quite describe or justify... but they'll still scream it at you

 

[marurder]

Because some ppl (i.e. friends) always ask you redundant questions like "So... what have YOU been doing?" And other ppl (i.e. parents) tend to ask you awkward questions like "WHAT have you been doing?" Neither is these scenarios is usually pleasant...

This.

Also a good kisser can give the same (usually better) feeling leaving no mark. Hickys are made by people who can't kiss for shite.

 

[Kendell Cambridge]

Because some people are just jealous that you have an active and enjoyable love life while they're either in a loveless marriage or alone.

Either that or their religion claims that anything "fun" is the work of some evil entity that they can't quite describe or justify... but they'll still scream it at you

I could be that... Or it could be the fact that its really weird to know your friend got some. Its almost like youre watching them do it. Even if you just got some yourself its still weird. Or it could be the jealousy thing but I personally think its a much larger number of ppl who just feel awkward

 

[Kendell Cambridge]

Because some ppl (i.e. friends) always ask you redundant questions like "So... what have YOU been doing?" And other ppl (i.e. parents) tend to ask you awkward questions like "WHAT have you been doing?" Neither is these scenarios is usually pleasant...

This.

Also a good kisser can give the same (usually better) feeling leaving no mark. Hickys are made by people who can't kiss for shite.

While that is true, its usually a whole different story for the hickey GIVER. Its easy to give good feelings without leaving a trace but (ignore my blatant incoming hypocrisy here) speaking from personal experience sometimes you just wanna leave your mark saying "I did this"
Childish yea, but always funny when youre not on the receiving end

 

[trooper6]

I'd say it's not about jealousy or prudishness.

I've had sex with a lot of people. And I've never "accidentally" given a hickey. Hickeys are generally deliberate...and if they are deliberate you must ask why are you giving someone a hickey in a place that is visible when they walk down the street?

The answer of why that makes me (and I think many others) uncomfortable is bound up in some of the comments on this thread along the lines of "its a trophy, hell yeah, way to go bro."

1. Your Significant Other is not a trophy, nor your property to mark up in order to brag to your friends.
2. Sex/Making Out isn't some sort of competition that you win and then brag about...well, not if you are mature and also care about your SO

Ever here the phrase: Gentleman kiss but don't tell?

 

[trooper6]

Because some ppl (i.e. friends) always ask you redundant questions like "So... what have YOU been doing?" And other ppl (i.e. parents) tend to ask you awkward questions like "WHAT have you been doing?" Neither is these scenarios is usually pleasant...

This.

Also a good kisser can give the same (usually better) feeling leaving no mark. Hickys are made by people who can't kiss for shite.

While that is true, its usually a whole different story for the hickey GIVER. Its easy to give good feelings without leaving a trace but (ignore my blatant incoming hypocrisy here) speaking from personal experience sometimes you just wanna leave your mark saying "I did this"
Childish yea, but always funny when youre not on the receiving end

And it is this attitude people don't like about hickeys. Because you recognize it isn't so fun to be on the receiving end, but you rather your partner be uncomfortable so that you can brag, mark, and objectify your partner. This really evidences that you don't actually care about your partner that much--or that you care about your ego way more. It is creepy, childish, disrespectful...and that attitude also implies that you probably aren't that good of a lover either. Because, in order to be good at sex, you have to be thoughtful about your partner...the hicky implies your partner's comfort is not your priority.

 

[trooper6]

All symbols of romantic love are evil, despicable, malefic and horrific. They should all be criminalised - right down to holding hands in public.

I'm not joking.

I don't have a problem of signs of romantic love. But hickeys aren't signs of romantic love. They are signs of ownership and immature selfish bragging.

 

[Kendell Cambridge]

Because some ppl (i.e. friends) always ask you redundant questions like "So... what have YOU been doing?" And other ppl (i.e. parents) tend to ask you awkward questions like "WHAT have you been doing?" Neither is these scenarios is usually pleasant...

This.

Also a good kisser can give the same (usually better) feeling leaving no mark. Hickys are made by people who can't kiss for shite.

While that is true, its usually a whole different story for the hickey GIVER. Its easy to give good feelings without leaving a trace but (ignore my blatant incoming hypocrisy here) speaking from personal experience sometimes you just wanna leave your mark saying "I did this"
Childish yea, but always funny when youre not on the receiving end

And it is this attitude people don't like about hickeys. Because you recognize it isn't so fun to be on the receiving end, but you rather your partner be uncomfortable so that you can brag, mark, and objectify your partner. This really evidences that you don't actually care about your partner that much--or that you care about your ego way more. It is creepy, childish, disrespectful...and that attitude also implies that you probably aren't that good of a lover either. Because, in order to be good at sex, you have to be thoughtful about your partner...the hicky implies your partner's comfort is not your priority.

Woah woah woah... slow down there Captain Righteous. 1)Ive been on both the giving and receiving end and its never been intended to showcase to your friend or cause your partner discomfort. If you actually are comfortable with our partner they will let you know that theyre uncomfortable and stop. The reason I said its annoying being on the receiving end is that you have to walk around with it all day. 2) It's not being done to objectify your partner cuz barring whatever weirdos that you know, I dont know anyone who walks around with their partners on a pedestal pointing out to other ppl that "durr... hey look I fucked him/her" 3) When I said leave your mark, its meant to be an inside joke thats merely lacking in subtlety. And 4), theres more reasons than can be counted why the mere act of having a hickey does NOT mean that your partner doesnt care about your comfort. Thats as ridiculous as saying that a man forces a woman to undergo childbirth cuz the child is both a symbol of his getting some and he doesnt care about her potential discomfort.

 

[Mr Cwtchy]

Naturally I've never given or received them, but in a hypothetical situation where I did, I would think it's a sign of affection.

It could also be quite playful, in a way of leaving your 'mark' on your SO. Frankly, if people have a problem with that, then they can bloody well sod off since I bet the complaints are largely down to the fact that it reminds the said complainers of their own bitter loneliness.

 

[GeorgW]

I don't really give it much thought. When my GF and I started dating my entire neck was red. It really looked like I had been attacked by a wild animal, and we and others joked about that fact. Sure, one prude didn't like it, but otherwise nobody cared. My mom got tired of them after a while.
We haven't given each other hickeys for months. I don't know why. Maybe we got tired of the extremely seldom remarks or we simply moved on to other things if you know what I mean

 

[tahrey]

It's probably the jokes that get told, is all.

Such as a workmate's mother calling them "shag tags" after seeing his neck covered in red welts. You REALLY don't want that even from your friends, let alone your mum.

 

[TeeBs]

Hicky is just kind of an Icky name, and to me its kind of associated with the whole Emo/Scenester sub-culture which is looked down on when your older.

Since when? When I was growing up we didn't even have emos and scensters but there were still hickeys.

I guess people don't like them because seeing one forces them to imagine the process involved, which is kind of too much information.

I am not deigning that they didn't exist before scenesters and emos, my only was point is that it became associated with them.

 

[kurupt87]

If you don't know, a hickey is also called a love bite

Also, a shag tag.

There are two ways to look at a shag tag; it's either the person is trying to mark you as their own or they had to suck neck in an effort to shut themselves up during the battle of the two backed beast.

Personally, I always treat them like the second. Sometimes that's true and sometimes it's a lie, but I'm fucked (or not) if I'm walking around with an "owned" sign on me. If it's done outside of a sexual encounter then they're just marking you, either stop it or tell 'em what you're going to say about it.

Edit: Unless you enjoy having someones mark on you, forgot to add that. Then you can go nuts.

 

[NeuroticDogDad]

Mainly because in the realms of sexuality, humility is a virtue. In a society that seems to revolve around sex if you can be humble about your sexual experiences then you are doing well.

That, and love bites on bewbs are more fun to give.

I have found a very fun game in simply ignoring any love bite/arrival home at 8am/smug grin that my friends are sporting because if they haven't gone to any length to hide the fact that they got laid it means that they want to talk about it. So don't talk about it. It really irritates them.
Of course I knew a girl and we used to give love bites to each other to be irritating because, being the normal and sexually humble beings that we are, we knew that the other would have to go to some length to cover their neck, which isn't as easy as you'd think.

Simply put, by sporting them proudly you're being arrogant and vulgar. And if someone comforts you by saying "don't worry man, they're just jealous" then firstly, they mean envious, and secondly they're using a childish and simplistic argument. Some things are as a result of envy but usually there's either a deeper reason or you're hiding from the real reason because it doesn't suit you.

Also

Because people are jealous, that's all there is to it. Best of both worlds is just to not have hickeys in visible places. But at least you're getting some, so grats on that.

I actually have thought about that, that my moms just jealous, poor lonely woman

Indeed, moms get jealous when their sons are off gallivanting with other girls.

That disapproving sigh you hear is their way of saying, "Only I am allowed to leave naughty marks on you. C'mere, honey...let me show you how a real woman does it..."

........dude......DUDE........no......