Ten Reasons Why Pac-Man Sucks

[Inmate13]

I figure pac man's long overdue for a good roast.. like when game informer gave that roast of the N64 a few years ago

 

[300lb. Samoan]

Escapist, I am dissappoint. Very disappoint indeed.

Wow, trying that extraordinarily hard to be loquacious and then following it up with a 4chan meme has got to be the most counter-productive use of the English language I've ever witnessed. If you're going to lead by example, PICK A DIRECTION.

 

[Baneat]

I hope to God my Sarcasmograph is just broken and he's not being series or else he's a fucktard.

I'd get that thing recalibrated or replaced.

 

[Audio]

How dare he insult him on his birthday >:E One is not amused.

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

Everyone in this thread is so hostile. God, how about we give people some room for mistakes, instead of just screaming "FAIL!" at every wrong step a person makes?

I like this list. If nothing else, it made me smile.

 

[Nikolai Smirnov]

My God so many flaws he made with this i'm not going to even tell you guys them.

 

[DCMan]

Quoting Live Journal? It makes sense, this is Live Journal trash.

 

[thatstheguy]

Meh, I got a chuckle. Though I reckon some people will miss the sarcasm and rage over this.

Amazing how just after that post, there was this post.

Wow...

Thats...wow.

I don't really like Pac-Man either, but still, this guy sounds like a complete and utter wanker.
Also:

"Modern games should be played in online multiplayer."?

Way to go there and make a completely false, inaccurate, uneducated, all-encompassing statement without merit that can easily be torn down with the most basic of examples there, dipshit.

To me, this sounds like the ramblings of a 14 year-old ritalin-popping high-school drop-out with way too much time on his hands, who spends half his time hiding his porn-stash from his mum and the other half swearing at people over CounterStrike voice-chat.

To David Hill, and all who think likewise:

Get a fucking life, you sad losers.

 

[Danpascooch]

SNIP

Oh come on guys, if you actually read it, of course it's a joke, I find it hilarious.

 

[Danpascooch]

This is sarcasm. If not than this

Read this out of context quote, "I don't really" [like Pac Man anymore].

is essentially him puting a gun to his point's head and pulling the trigger.

Yeah. You've got me.

(The subtitle for the original was "My Ode to Video Game Journalism.")

And the subtitle only further demonstrates that he's writing for the sake of writing. This type of piece has been done to death. Maybe asshole hipsters who find anvilicious attempts at irony funny might laugh, but that's barely a step up from laughing at Beavis and Butt-head. (mind you, I think B&BH are hilarious, but they don't pretend to be anything other than stupid.)

Oh gee, sorry the humor isn't sophisticated enough for you. How has this been "done to death"? I've never seen a piece ironically talking about "why pacman sucks".

And you mention it's a step UP from B&BH, yet say it's bad, but you find B&BH hilarious. That makes NO sense whatsoever.

God I hate elitists.

 

[Kajt]

That was... meh. Didn't really provoke that much laughter from me. I'd say he's trying too hard.

 

[moose_man]

LOL! Awesome work, Mr. Hill. Thanks for the post!

 

[Marter]

I got a little bit of laughter out of it. Thanks for posting.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

10) The CEO of Rockstar Games said he doesn't really like Pac Man anymore. Read this out of context quote, "I don't really" [like Pac Man anymore].

That made my day. Thank's for posting this.

 

[afaceforradio]

I see that the lad is trying to be funny, but he just isn't. Stuff like that is just boring and old at this stage.

Agreed. Sarcasm that makes people believe a bit too much that you're serious is BAD SARCASM.

 

[the_tramp]

I found it amusing, but found it more amusing that a lot of people evidently don't get sarcasm.

 

[Aura Guardian]

Ehh...It wasn't funny. He could've tried harder.

 

[SimuLord]

This is sarcasm. If not than this

Read this out of context quote, "I don't really" [like Pac Man anymore].

is essentially him puting a gun to his point's head and pulling the trigger.

Yeah. You've got me.

(The subtitle for the original was "My Ode to Video Game Journalism.")

And the subtitle only further demonstrates that he's writing for the sake of writing. This type of piece has been done to death. Maybe asshole hipsters who find anvilicious attempts at irony funny might laugh, but that's barely a step up from laughing at Beavis and Butt-head. (mind you, I think B&BH are hilarious, but they don't pretend to be anything other than stupid.)

Oh gee, sorry the humor isn't sophisticated enough for you. How has this been "done to death"? I've never seen a piece ironically talking about "why pacman sucks".

And you mention it's a step UP from B&BH, yet say it's bad, but you find B&BH hilarious. That makes NO sense whatsoever.

God I hate elitists.

See, here's the thing. B&BH is lowbrow, but it's GOOD lowbrow, and good anything tends to be good.

This article is bad hipster-ironic and comes off as amateurish and frankly worthy of its publication source (Livejournal). And the done-to-death part has nothing to do with Pac-Man and everything to do with how hipsters just love to ironically make fun of things by...wait for it...co-opting their style with a lame copycat piece that's meant to be IRONIC! Hurr hurr we're so funny!

 

[PureChaos]

Well I don't care what he thinks. If this was your opinion I might have read it, but as it isn't, I'll just ask why you thought we needed to know this.

Edit:Oh I see. It's supposed to be funny,...
Har har.

if it's supposed to be funny...that fails. it wasn't funny.
i could go through each point and say 'why is that a bad thing' like bad graphics, bad physics,
no violence, no chicks, no multiplayer etc...love Mr (and Mrs) Wakka Wakka

 

[Nikolai Smirnov]

Ignore my previous post i'm going to tell the flaws.

1.He says the graphics are bad. It was made when the first video games were made so he shouldn't be complaining.

2.The game is fine on it's own. " if it isn't broken don't fix it."

(3 has very simple reasons)

4. It doesn't matter if the game is violent a game can be good without having to harm/kill someone or something.

( He didn't make 5 me skipped to six)

6.Really the game isn't hard to figure out for a reason: so people can have more time to play then to learn how to play.

7. Look the game was made quite some time ago it wasn't made this year.

8. Again it was made quite so time ago games back then didn't have physics engines.

9. Once again this made quite some time ago jrpgs didn't exist back then.

10. I have comment for this one.