Frokane said:
1.Communication is key
this is great but it contradicts with 'You shouldnt have to ask, you should just know' This is bad advice for men and women
'You shouldnt have to ask, you should just know', is ridiculous. Any woman going "I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU, YOU SHOULD KNOW!!1" is insane. You can't read minds.
Hell, this is EXACTLY why my relationship broke down. If my ex had actually told me she was losing the romance, and not, you know, hid it for a year under flip flopping every month between "snuggles and hugs" and "seeming distant" and blaming it on school stress, then maybe we could have fixed the situation or at least had a cleaner breakup.
Communication IS key. Anyone who expects you to be a mind-reader is full of shit or stupid. Either way, probably not worth dating. Imagine the headaches if you'd end up married. x_x
2. Stop trying so hard to meet someone just relax and that person will come to you.
This doesn't apply to most men. Unless you are quite good looking (which not all of us are) its very unlikely a girl is ever going to go up to you, compliment you and ask for your number and propose a a date, this is just real life, we are making strides in gender roles but this one has a long way to go. If you tell an average Joe to not pursue dates or meeting people he wont meet anyone. People aren't searching for you to be their friend or their boyfriend you have to put yourself out there.
Whoa, you're taking number 2 too far, probably because it's misworded. It's supposed to be more like "Stop trying so hard to meet someone. Just relax and keep your eyes open, and someone will cross your path sooner or later".
It's not saying "don't ask people out" or "don't go out to meet people". It's basically saying "don't obsess over it".
If you go around asking out every girl you meet, and begin every conversation with a new female with the thought "MAYBE SHE'S THE ONE, MUST TREAT LIKE POTENTIAL GIRLFRIEND", you will come across as needlessly aggressive and/or desperate and clingy. Which girls will either find scary, creepy or kinda pathetic.
By all means you SHOULD put yourself out there! You won't meet anyone if you don't. Just don't lead with "I WANNA DATE/HAVE SEX" or loop around to it too fast. All that does is scare people away, and set you up for disappointment.
As a friend of mine put it "Most girls aren't looking for sex or boyfriends. They're looking for PEOPLE. Who they might want to hook up with at some point. They want to be treated as people, not 'girlfriends'".
3. Guys, just be 'confident' its attractive*****
this needs about a thousand more asterix's there are so many 'conditions' for confidence to be attractive its hilarious.
This whole "women are attracted to confidence" crap is getting old, very old. When women say they are attracted to confidence, do you know what they are really saying?
"We are attracted to good looking, tall men who have the confidence to approach us after we have given them the green light to do so". Telling an ugly guy to just be "confident" is like putting lipstick on a pig.
Actually, confidence has more to do with feeling comfortable in your own skin and projecting an aura that makes you seem strong and able to take care of yourself.
Like...Are you attracted to the shy girls that hide in the corner and never make eye contact and seem like they desperately need someone to live their lives for them because they feel incomplete? Maybe, but a lot of people don't. Most guys I know would prefer women who share some interests with them and can hold a conversation and who have a sense of self-worth that isn't dependent on whether or not they have a boyfriend.
This goes DOUBLE for guys, who also have the social stigma of "If you're not a badass, you're not a 'real man'" making things even harder. Anyway, Confidence makes you seem like you have things going on under the surface, and that you are capable of taking care of yourself and your future partners, which is usually attractive as it implies mystery and strength.
No one is saying there's a magic formula of do's and don'ts. But those 3 bits of advice are actually not that bad at all.
FYI, I might be single, but that's mostly because every girl I find even remotely interesting is either already taken, lesbian, in another country (or are in Quebec temporarily and plan to go home to Alberta or the US in a year or two and are thus not worth trying with IMO), or I know that they're trouble and not worth hooking up with, or even some mix of all the above. Several girls I've hung out with have expressed attraction to me already, only blocked by the abovementioned problems.
