Terrible Roommate Stories

[Mezahmay]

I just want to hear some stories about terrible roommates. Siblings, roommates, relatives, whatever. I'm not that particular. Could be fun. Maybe even cathartic. I'll start.

So I had two roommates freshman year of college. One guy was quiet like me and we'd sit at opposite ends of the room playing video games on our laptops when not doing homework. Great guy. Wish I saw him on campus more often. My other roommate was a runner who would leave once or twice a week to go out with others to party and/or drink. Mostly drink. On several occasions he returned at 2 in the morning when the first roommate and I were asleep and would talk with his friends about bullshit for a while. Sometimes he'd reflexively turn on the overhead light and wake us up even faster. On two occasions he came in, did some bullshit, crawled into bed, then threw up around 4 in the morning. Still hate this guy a lot and ignore him to the best of my ability when I see him on campus.

 

[Sleepy Sol]

I've had the same roommate for two years. We were friends in high school but he always makes a lot of little annoyances to me that just sort of add up.

Like asking me to go buy dinner for him and pay for it myself. Also, he'd start arguments for the sake of starting arguments with no apparent goal. Basically being contrarian or intentionally disengenuous for no reason.

That was probably the worst of it, but they only happened a few times (early) last year, thankfully. I think he wised up about how to live with someone who almost assuredly didn't have the same privileges or standards.

 

[Queen Michael]

My little brother got a roommate who ate chicken almost raw.

"You can get salmonella like that," my brother said.

"Says who?" the guy asked suspiciously.

 

[seventy two]

Freshman year I shared a room with 3 other guys, and honestly it went well all things considered. One of the guys was a bit of a cheap ass, but it was not that hard to just ignore him.

These days I share an apartment with my sister, and while that has it problems as well I have yet to encounter anything too terrible.

 

[Eddie the head]

I don't have any terrible roommate stories, but one of my old roommates asked if I knew she was black before she moved in. No I just thought you where a very tan Jew. Oh and I also made a contingency plan with her if I ever have to have gay sex.

Oh no wait I got one. One time one time my roommates sister got so drunk she had to sleep it off in my bathroom. Although I guess that's less of a terrible roommate thing and more of a terrible judgment thing.

 

[Scarim Coral]

The second year of University, I chose the accomdation that had 12 people (including myself) inside it.

Of our of the people-
3 I got along with the most
4 were ok
1 who I rarely saw at all.
and the last 3...

Ok to be fair when I first met them, they were fine to hang out with but as time went on, they became annoying fucks! They were pretty much the loud obnoixous types who were still up and about (with their room door open) at 3 am in the night and they were angry that I wrote on the notice board to keep quiet during the night (sure it's my own fault for not straight up telling them but I'm not the confrotation type).

Heck there was one time they got drunk in the kichen and were splashing water from the sink. The water got onto the floor and it went all the way down into my ceiling! The kitchen is located at the top floor while my room was below the sink! I swear to god I should of reported their arses to the receptionist since in hindsight the ceiling did had a crack on it so it could of been in danger in the future.

What wasn't the wrose they did, the worse was that they broke my rice cooker! My relative from Hong Kong specifically bought me a good rice cooker which I did felt attach to it and during the second year, they asked if they can borrow it and I said yes. Not only did they keep throwing away the rice inside it which I used leftover rise to make fried rice, the bowl inside it got badly scratch to the point that I can no longer used it!!!

Seriously fuck those guys and gal!!

 

[maxben]

I shared an apartment with a college communist. Now, he wasn't some middle class liberal, we're talking a real hardcore "grew up on the mean streets of Philli" "the revolution is coming" kind of communist. Like he started a group that actually did things, both good and crazy, to promote their ideology. That in itself wasn't so bad, mostly because passionate people are cool. However, he was also a jerk and just had a lot of hate towards society, his family, people who are different, people with different ideologies, religious people, women, really everyone else. I remember one time he just went off on a rant at me at what a horrible person I am, of course using the classic philosophical terms built of years of reading a variety of continental philosophers (though to be fair, as an analytic elitist I really do look down at many of them). I just sat there, not sure why, and took it.

I did end up sleeping with and dating his gf/regular hook up though, whom he was just awful to, so maybe I was the horrible roommate?

 

[maninahat]

One room mate I had managed to:

Break the shower on the first day, by forcing the ON handle in the opposite direction to the way it pointed, until it sniped off in his hand.
He was an atrocious cook who would regularly burn pasta in my pans, to the point of em being unusable. The only two other cooking apparatus he would use was a deep fryer that would perpetually bleed oil all over the kitchen, and a George Foreman grill that went uncleaned the entire two years I lived with him, save the bits the mice nibbled off, no doubt attracted to the quantities of burnt fat coating everything.
He wouldn't do his pot washing for weeks at a time. When he did, he would offer to do everyone's; but he would do it so badly, we would have to wash it all again.
He would leave clothes in the washing machine for hours after the cycle finished, so his clothes always smelt terrible.
He always smelt terrible too, for reasons modern medical science is still yet to fully comprehend.
The occasional times I saw inside of his room, I noticed the floor was lost under the amount of stuff on it. To this day, I don't know what colour the carpet was in there.
He was responsible for the internet service, but wasn't. We were constantly losing internet access. Because it ended up being locked in his room, we would never get access to fix it.

 

[zumbledum]

I used to have some old friends staying with me and one of them used to sleepwalk . one night i wake up with that sensation of someone else being in the room, its dark and as im blinking trying to get my eyes to focus i can hear someone crashing about , my half asleep brain just cant work it out till he staggers out of my junk filled walk in closet. he seems surprised to see me in my bed sitting up starring at him.

he puts his fingers to his lips and actually shushes me then in a low confiding voice he shares this with me
"hey jon! i have just taken a shit in jeffs closet!"

this plus the surprise emergence into my room has got me awake but my brains not quite able to express itself yet so all i manage is

"NO! thats MY cupboard you fucktard!"

he looks at me thoroughly offended and reiterates

"no no no, I have just taken a SHIT in JEFFS cupboard!" by the strange emphasis on certain words i can tell hes trying to make me understand some point but its beyond me how any of that makes it better so the conversation repeats a few times

"Mike! thats MY cupboard!"

"NO! I have just take a SHIT in JEFF's cupboard!"

after a while he gives up sighs and just walks out. luckily for me and i guess for him he hadnt actually taken a dump and in the morning he had absolutely no recollection of his night time mission.

 

[leberkaese]

My roommate bought cats without asking, despite me saying "I don't want cats in here". What about that!
I like cats... I like his cats, because they're cute... but still I'm angry!

Also, he constantly annoys me with passive-aggressive hints that are somewhat related to complaints he has. He never speaks about those complaints and doesn't give me straight answers when I ask why he's doing that.

He has really weird rules about our shared apartment...

And he has a serious eBay-addiction. He collects every cliche-collectible you can imagine and gets a package full of it on a daily basis at times. It was okay when he collected stamps... but now he's in a phase of collecting stones and minerals.
I feel sorry for our postman that has to carry these packages around. but at the same time I'm scared. Because by now he probably has serious homicidal thoughts towards us. I think it would be wise to make it clear that I'm not the guy getting all those packages...

Did I mention that my roommate and Sheldon are basically the same person? He even has this nickname at work.

 

[Lieju]

My roommate has the tendency to steal my stuff. Like books and socks. I was wondering where my copy of Great Gatsby went, turned out she hid it under a dresser. Dunno why.
Also don't get me started on how she takes my shoes without asking...
She also wakes me up early in the morning when she goes to get something to eat.
Ans she never cleans or does the dishes.

Also she has the tendency to shit in stuff when she is upset with me.
Like, when I started going to the university again and left her alone for the day I found a piece of shit left behind the door as protest.

Most of the time Milou is a lovely ferret though.

 

[Zhukov]

I currently share a house with two drunkards, a serial jailbird (never asked what for) and a manic depressive who walks the halls at night cussing and screaming about wanting to die.

Do I win?

The drunkards are actually pretty nice when they're sober. Sadly, they spend most of their sober time apologising for whatever shit they pulled while drunk.

 

[Random Argument Man]

I've had 4 roommates. While I couldn't stand the first one while we were roommates, it got better when he moved out. Second one was also good.

Let's talk about that pesky 3rd and 4th ones.

Aside from constant fire alarms since she fried everything that she ate, there's a shitstorm of stuff that was weird.

1. She cheated on her boyfriend constantly. Why did it bother me? There was a new guy or guys every week. It was awkward to be there during the next morning or whenever I saw the boyfriend.
2. She barely cleaned the apartment. Whenever I did, she started to fry stuff again and never clean it off.
3. She tried to skip rent on multiple occasions. She got the message whenever the Internet connection went off.
4. She downloaded constantly and therefore I couldn't access the Internet often. It's very tiring when you have a papers due for the next day.
5 & 6. She used the race and culture card whenever she didn't want to buy stuff for the apartment or when she broke my stuff. She once said that it was against her religion to clean off sheets that she spilled oiled on. Yes, she used one of my bed sheets to clean off an oil stain. I put a rule of not going into my room afterwards and she yelled at me for being racist.
7. She often let her used tampons in the toilet.
8. Half of our mail came for the gynaecologist
9. She brought her friends to scream loudly in her room. She complained that the neighbours were having too much sex and decided to bring her special brand of revenge.

I'll stop here. Most people don't believe me when I start talking about her anyway. I wish that those were exaggerations.

The 4th roommate was friendly, but he never cleaned. He kept telling me that he needed to smoke weed before he started to clean. Whenever he did, he went to sleep.

 

[Spudgun Man]

Well after a particularly noisy party with his mates my flatmate decided to take a shit in the bin, cause that's how humans do things right?

 

[L. Declis]

Well...

Let me see, I had one housemate who:

Would regularly come back at 3am in the morning...
Screaming about how late and drunk she was...
And how other people are asleep so be quiet...
To the guys/friends she was bringing home that night...
About three nights per week...

She regularly stole or broke my things, and when I asked her to return/replace them, she told me "It's my problem" and I could go "fuck myself".

She regularly stole milk, eggs and the like.

She always left all her crap all over the living room and kitchen, like empty McDonald's, vodka, half-eaten food, or leave all her crap in the sink for days and no one else could wash up their crap.

She'd clog the shower weekly and refuse to fix it

She'd write passive-aggressive notes about how everyone else in the house was making the house filthy, put up cleaning rotas, and then basically tell whoever asked her to do her share to go "fuck themselves, she was busy".

She'd force her mother to come over the house every few weeks to clean up her shit.

I have never wanted something bad to happen to someone so much before.

And that's why I don't date British girls anymore, because I have lived with about 10 of them and I'd say 60% of them are basically that.

 

[seris]

whenever im in my room on my computer, my sister always opens the door and stares at me just to piss me off until i get up out of my chair and shut the door. she does this randomly about 2 more times after that.

 

[prpshrt]

Well I had a roommate who was a little messy but with a little coercion he'd clean up so that wasn't too bad of situation. We were good friends and we had the same interests, same major, and we got along very well. There were the occasional annoyances but hey, that happens to most people. Now despite the fact that he seemed to be a decent roommate, everything went to shit at the end of the school year. We were in the same CS class so we were working on our final projects separately. So its an hour before 12am (deadline) and I'm nearly done, just commenting my code and putting documentation together so I go over to my friends apartment across the hall to get a few shots of alcohol. I came back to find my laptop with my roommate. When I asked what he said he was just copying the game to his hard disk. So me being very trusting, buzzed, and tired didn't think of it. Fast forward to end of finals and the day before I'm supposed to leave, I get an email from the professor saying I was caught for plagiarism and I may fail the class. This would have screwed my over royally cause I started my major a year late and the long term result would me being in college for an additional semester and paying for it so you can imagine my horror. Long story short, directly contacted the dean, got testimonies from my friends and other people that worked on their projects along side me (no code sharing involved) and sent them to the dean and explained how massively fucked I would get if I failed and issue resolved itself in a week with no communication form the other side. Scumbag didnt graduate with this past May. Sounds bad but I was ecstatic. *takes a deep breath*

 

[LostCrusader]

When I was in my first year of college, I had a roommate who was a theater major. I can ignore pretty much anything that roommates do but this guy apparently was really into "chipmunked" music, which is basically remixing popular songs to sound like they are sung by Alvin and the chipmunks. I would link an example but if I heard it I would probably go into an uncontrollable rage.