THAT double standard, why does it exist?

[Vault101]

what about the double stand where if a guy cheats on the girl the guy is a dirt bag scum bag loser but if a girl cheats on a guy its cause the guy isnt man enough or doesnt meet her needs

thats not the topic of the thread, anyway Im not complaing here, I was trying to be neutral and I was jsut interested as to why this exitsts

anyway In regards to cheating I dont think much of anyone who cheats, regardless of gender (yet it happens alot, some people just cant controll themselfs)

 

[Catalyst6]

The dating system is adversarial by nature. No, I'm not spouting insane sexist "The Game" bullshit, don't worry. But you have to admit that the man has to work for his sex, mostly because women have more to lose from sex than men (9 months of your life is a long time) and are therefore more careful. Thus, if a person is charismatic enough to convince many people to have sex with him then there must be something special about him. That's the theory, anyways.

That being said, a man that sleeps with anyone he can get his hands on isn't a player, he's a whore. You have to have class to be considered a decent person.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

Personally, I find anyone who engages in such activates and then boasts of it worthy of my scorn. Granted, my scorn is not hard to earn, but nevertheless?
Why does it exist? For the same reason women can over sexualize men in media, but men doing the same to women is misogynistic and detestable.
To me, as an asexual person, bragging about the number of people you have slept with is comparable to and as pointless as me bragging about how many cakes I have eaten.

 

[Ham_authority95]

I supose there are reasons, a woman who sleeps around that much usually indicates a lack of self respect.

Or they just want sex because they're horny. That's the reason why most "tramp" women I know sleep around.

acctually yeah there is that as well

women are human too and have such urges, (now why didnt I think of that?) mabye theres aslo the gender role that its acceptible for men to act horny because they have "needs" but women are expected to be "pure" and not enjoy sex too much (yeah thats streching it a bit but you get the idea)

It can also goes way back to our prehistoric days.

Males can ejaculate multiple times an hour while women can only get pregnant once every 9 months. You can see how, in a survivalist sense, it became more acceptable for males to get their freak on more often.

 

[SonicKaos]

We aren't talking about locks here we're talking about people! Anyone who sleeps around in my opinion either thinks they're the greatest thing ever or they don't have self respect. I also don't see why getting laid is seen as an achievement. Pretty much everybody ever has had sex or will have sex, get over it.

We aren't, but that saying really does stand true.

If a guy thinks he is the greatest thing ever, he's got confidence and can go out and get laid IF he's got the moves. If he has no self respect or self worth, he will not. Reason being he won't try because he feels he isn't good enough, or he won't get anyone because he doesn't appear confident enough. On the other hand, if a girl thinks they're the greatest, they can go out and get laid by pretty much any horny guy they want. If they have no self respect or self worth... they can still go out and get laid by pretty much any horny guy they want.

IMO a guy with high self respect wouldn't be sleeping around, or would at least be aiming very high when it comes to finding a mate.

Getting laid is an achievement for guys because it's much more difficult then it is for a woman to. Guys have to work for it more by impressing the woman at the least. Pretty much everyone will have sex yes, but it's not really about the quantity at all... it's about quality. If someone is regularely getting highly attractive woman, then they have a skill that many do not have. If they constantly lay with unnattractive woman, then it's just sad really.

 

[mborchin]

Well, there's also something else. A long, long time ago, a few thousand years, depending on the place, sex was not an ugly thing, not even something to be doubtful about or to pour a lot of emotion in. Sex was just sex. As an example, the romans were predominantly bisexual and wouldn't allow adultery to be the reason of a divorce (in certain periods) and they praised both men and women for the number of their sex partners. There's even a story where some women make fun of another woman because she had been divorced only once.

Sadly, nowadays I don't think we've managed to fully break ourselves from the subconscious ideas of our puritan forefathers. Somehow, somewhere within our minds, sex is still an ugly thing. Maybe this vision doesn't dominate anymore but it affects us nonetheless. Men are viewed symbolically as the "givers" of sex and women are the "receivers". In a badly twisted way, somewhere in the back of our heads, promiscuous women somehow seem to gather that ugly nature of sex, which lead to them being discriminated and treated differently. It is the symbolism and idea of an old age, one I hope to see die out during my lifetime.

 

[superbatranger]

I usually think both genders are sluts.

As do I. I just find it kinda fun to call my friends sluts when they hook up with some random girl.

 

[Mcupobob]

I don't know why, I've always been under the impression that everyone loves organisms and getting them shouldn't be a bad thing.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

The guy/girl who sleeps around a lot has to earn it with a new person each time (especially with guys). I'll take a stable relationship with my wife (or girlfriend, if you're not married) because I can get sex pretty much whenever I want, with someone I know does not have nasty diseases, and it's an all around fulfilling, compared to a single sexual encounter. Also, quality over quantity.

 

[Lord Krunk]

Funny that the first reply hits the nail on the head, although rather crudely.

It's the expectations given to us by society, really. Women expect guys to put the legwork into this kind of thing, and guys do it as a method of extending their image of success.

Not that both aren't sluts though. But guys have it a lot harder than women when it comes to these things, and thusly society respects them for their efforts.

I hope this post doesn't sound misogynistic.

 

[sidhe3141]

You're not the first one to ask this. [http://bukucomics.com/loserz/go/23]

It probably has something to do with the Victorian (if anyone can point to an earlier example, please do) idea that women don't have sex drives, and that their only role in bed is to lie back and think of England, so therefore there is something wrong with a woman who actually goes looking for sex. Or maybe it has something to do with the entrenchment of the patriarchy, and that for a while the only way for a man to determine if the kid was his was to make sure that the mother hadn't slept with anyone else.

 

[Chemical Alia]

We all know why it exists. But it's not a game. People have their own reasons for the things they do, including sex. I don't give a shit about the sex lives of others, and it's not my concern to judge their reasons as right or wrong.

 

[Evidencebased]

Ok actually I dont know how old it really is, probably not that old since gener roles have changed and everything

anyway we all know this double standard

1. A guy goes around sleeping with as many women as possible, he is probably considered cool and well respected by guys

2. a woman goes around sleeping with as many guys as possible, she is a slut/whore/skank/tramp and many others

now why is this?

I supose there are reasons, a woman who sleeps around that much usually indicates a lack of self respect, (and somtimes the whole sleeping around thing usually comes with being an unlikeable person) how ever I do admit thats generalising which we shouldnt do, thats just speaking from (very limited) experience [/B]

anyway again what about guys? does a guy who sleeps around alot indicate lack of self respect? I dont think so

anyway Mbaye this goes back to traditional gender roles, Im not sure

I would think that a person who sleeps with a lot of people who they don't really want to sleep with -- to get attention, or because they are pressured, or to try and live up to a reputation -- is a person with low self-esteem, male or female. Guys (especially younger immature ones) generally get more esteem from their peers for sleeping with a bunch of different women than women do, but it's not because there is something inherently "better" about a man who has a lot of sex than a woman who does.

Historically, not only have women been more at risk for having multiple male partners (thanks to pregnancy) but it's also been very threatening to the men, and their ability to ensure that they have heirs -- the mother knows perfectly well that the baby is hers, but the father can't be sure. Because of this anxiety a lot of men had, society labeled a woman who sleeps around with names like "slut" (and in many places today she can still be killed for it) so that her husband could control who she had sex with, and make sure that all her children were his. Women were property, and were good only for having men's children, so it was important to make sure they only had the right men's children -- her body was her husband's and therefore off-limits to anyone else. This was enforced by shaming women who didn't obey (or divorcing or raping or murdering them.)

You can see this sexist possessive impulse in the lock-and-key metaphor, actually. A woman's body is supposed to be a "good" lock and only open for one "key" right? That's a pretty unsubtle way of putting that she should only belong to/sleep with one man, isn't it?

 

[Astoria]

We aren't talking about locks here we're talking about people! Anyone who sleeps around in my opinion either thinks they're the greatest thing ever or they don't have self respect. I also don't see why getting laid is seen as an achievement. Pretty much everybody ever has had sex or will have sex, get over it.

We aren't, but that saying really does stand true.

If a guy thinks he is the greatest thing ever, he's got confidence and can go out and get laid IF he's got the moves. If he has no self respect or self worth, he will not. Reason being he won't try because he feels he isn't good enough, or he won't get anyone because he doesn't appear confident enough. On the other hand, if a girl thinks they're the greatest, they can go out and get laid by pretty much any horny guy they want. If they have no self respect or self worth... they can still go out and get laid by pretty much any horny guy they want.

IMO a guy with high self respect wouldn't be sleeping around, or would at least be aiming very high when it comes to finding a mate.

Getting laid is an achievement for guys because it's much more difficult then it is for a woman to. Guys have to work for it more by impressing the woman at the least. Pretty much everyone will have sex yes, but it's not really about the quantity at all... it's about quality. If someone is regularely getting highly attractive woman, then they have a skill that many do not have. If they constantly lay with unnattractive woman, then it's just sad really.

It's is no harder for a guy to get laid than it is a girl. As you said a guy is not going to try to get with an unattractive woman so unless you're incredibly stunning girls have to put in effort too. Some girl put in hours of effort doing their makeup and making sure what they're wearing looks good on them just to get a guy to look at them. While guys usually make the first move girls still put in the same amount of effort to keep a good conversation going and worry about the same things that guys worry about when trying to pick up someone. No offence intended here but you've made it sound like all that matters is looks and that's pretty shallow.

 

[jonyboy13]

Watch Jim Jeffries' stand up on sluts.
"There are fat ugly sluts out there, there are no fat ugly studs."
Basically what the first comment says, in today's society men need to be close to perfect to pick up a woman while women just have to be... there.

 

[Wolfwind]

Getting laid is an achievement for guys because it's much more difficult then it is for a woman to. Guys have to work for it more by impressing the woman at the least. Pretty much everyone will have sex yes, but it's not really about the quantity at all... it's about quality. If someone is regularely getting highly attractive woman, then they have a skill that many do not have. If they constantly lay with unnattractive woman, then it's just sad really.

While I agree that it is more difficult for guys to get laid than it is for women, I don't know if I entirely agree with it being about "skill". Granted, it is a factor in some cases, but from what I've seen, men and women aren't really that different.

Most of the guys (that I've known, at least) who get attention from attractive women are the same as the attractive women who get a lot of attention from guys, in that the key factor is "attractive". These guys usually don't do anything special, they just have good looks. I can't count how many times I've seen guys with smarter, funnier things to say, get "friend zoned" by women they're trying to attract because she's too busy drooling over a guy who looks like a model.

Again, I'm not saying some guys don't use skill or charm to overcome their lack of prowess in other variables that attract women. I'm just saying, if a girl is a slut for just having to show up to get some action, then the guys who are guilty of the same thing should be regarded under the same light. There shouldn't be a double standard.

 

[Odd Water]

Here's a new double standard for the thread! Since you all seems stuck on the 'Guys a stud, girls a whore' one, here is a new one. Still involving sex.

A guy can be fine with the idea of a threesome with two other women. But if the woman suggest two other guys version threesome the male is more often against it even if the woman is alright/open to the first option. The concept is fair from both views, but usually far less accepted on one version from males.

 

[mjc0961]

1. A guy goes around sleeping with as many women as possible, he is probably considered cool and well respected by guys

No. We have a word for this type of person. "Manwhore".

That's exactly what I was thinking. I've never seen why sleeping with lots of women makes you cool.

Although if I had to wager I guess, I'd probably go with what others are saying along the lines of "it's easier for women to get laid if they want it than it is for guys." Yes, I realize that's a stereotype for both genders, but this one happens to fit a lot better than other stereotypes.

 

[Mikeyfell]

Ok actually I dont know how old it really is, probably not that old since gener roles have changed and everything

anyway we all know this double standard

1. A guy goes around sleeping with as many women as possible, he is probably considered cool and well respected by guys

2. a woman goes around sleeping with as many guys as possible, she is a slut/whore/skank/tramp and many others

now why is this?

If you have a key that can open any lock, you have an awesome key.
If you have a lock that can be opened by any key, you have a crappy lock.

Is the completely asinine alpha male malarkey response, [sub]that's still kinda funny when you think about it.[/sub]

It's because guys are easy. Women have no respect for women who constantly reach for the low hanging fruit.

A lesbian friend of mine told me that so don't hate me for it.

I suppose there are reasons, a woman who sleeps around that much usually indicates a lack of self respect, (and sometimes the whole sleeping around thing usually comes with being an unlikeable person) how ever I do admit that's generalizing. which we shouldn't do, that's just speaking from (very limited) experience [/B]

That's the cart before the horse. I think lack of self respect comes from being called "slut" all the time. Sleeping around and being unlikeable? Who would sleep with an unlikeable person? Oh, right guys.

 

[velcrokidneyz]

*ahem* an analogy I've seen before and used previously on the site but it requires repeating

A key that opens any lock is an awesome key, whereas a lock that opens to any key is just a shitty lock.

EDIT: oops, ninja'd oh well, the point remains

EDIT the second: Also isn't it instinctual that a man try and procreate as much as possible to further the species? Thats what was up back in the prehistoric eras i thought.