That... that could be taken SO wrong!

[Urgh76]

Every day sayings can sometimes turn out to be a centerpiece for hilarity

Spoiler: Like this gem I found yesterday

A bird in the hand is worth Two in the bush

Have you ever come across something like this? XD

 

[Stoic raptor]

Wow, uh, nothing to say to that.

One time on the bus, something was vibrating in this girls pants. We all started laughing our asses off.

It was just her phone, if anybody couldn't figure that out.

 

[silver wolf009]

Yours only works for the dirty minded. Are you dirty minded?

OT: My friend and I decided to play a bit of an atempt to get another friends goat:

My friend: Heh man, your sisters hot.
Friend 2: Yeah.....
Me and my 1st friend: WRONG WRONG WRONG!!

Of course he meant to put a dramatic pause before continuing on with "thats what everyone says" but it was still hilarious.

 

[Risingblade]

lol none that I can remember at the moment though I'm sure I make one of the those saying sound dirty at least once a week xD

 

[shadyh8er]

Meh, most of the time it's the usual "that's what she said" BS.

My favorite one was when my bro and I went to our bud's house, and when it was time for us to go he said "I'm glad you guys came."

Me: *snicker*

 

[Tharwen]

If you listen carefully, you can pick up several sayings along the lines of "it's so long!" every day

 

[rockyoumonkeys]

ITT: people just discovering what innuendo is.

Ah, I remember when I was 12.

 

[topwomble]

2 hands get the job done quicker

 

[SalamanderJoe]

Today's lectuer featured the line 'there's multiple entry points for business' to exploit.'

Thar be much giggling.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

Yesterday, some things involving a hole that needed widening and a rod that wouldn't fit.

Yeah.

 

[The Procrastinated End]

Mostly just thats what she said and crappy innuendo like that.
Just gonna leave this here.

 

[Alberio]

In a lecture last year the lecturer was talking about the good points of social network sites and the games they have such as playing farmville on facebook. One of her points was that "her boy friend can fertilize her garden", it took her a minute or two to figure out what she'd said to make 300 people simultaneously burst into laughter.

 

[Urgh76]

Mostly just thats what she said and crappy innuendo like that.
Just gonna leave this here.

As soon as I saw the bird penis I knew this was a new favorite XD

 

[Urgh76]

Mostly just thats what she said and crappy innuendo like that.
Just gonna leave this here.

EDIT: Damn double post

 

[Pariah87]

I love it where you only hear part of a conversation in passing and you get snippets like:

"It was really hard and hurt like hell"

"I had a mess running all down my top"

The immagination then goes wild...

 

[Death God]

Two heads are better than one. My friends corrupted me into a dirty mind so much!

 

[badgersprite]

Every day sayings can sometimes turn out to be a centerpiece for hilarity

Spoiler: Like this gem I found yesterday

A bird in the hand is worth Two in the bush

Have you ever come across something like this? XD

Just to mess with people, I always deliberately say, "Never look a gift horse in the bush," as opposed to the proper idiom. I get some fun reactions with that. It's even funnier when no one notices.

 

[lacktheknack]

My friend got fired from a grocery store for announcing over the intercom "Could Mr. Chan please come get his vibrator from the front desk?" Cell phones ftw?

Also, another friend went for about thirty seconds describing the apple she was eating, and couldn't figure out why everyone around her was snickering.