That urge to kill

[Monster_user]

snip

Honestly, I get random "urges" all of the time. Like, while driving, I've had urges to swerve into oncoming traffic, or into pedestrians, or into a tree, etc.

I know that feel. I can't count the number of times I've thought to myself, "Well if I just turned off the road here..." and just imagined what would happen. It's...odd.

That sounds a little bit more normal. I've had that experience a couple of times. For me its more of an escape from the rules, just a moment without concern, without worry, without consideration, without any thought of the consequences. Just a moment of excitement, just a moment of adventure. Then I decide that it is highly illogical, and procede to drive back to my cubicle, with no visible daylight, for eight hours a day.

Glad I've got video games.

But, no, I've never had an urge to kill a disfigurement that existed on somebody. Unless I'm just not seeing the extreme disfigurements you are, they all seem human to me.

That is .... completely normal.

Now, if you will just slip on this new fancy jacket, it fastens up at the back to stop it falling off. It's just to keep you warm .... honest.

^You should listen to this guy.

The jacket is so comfortable, you'll never want to take it off.

It also gives a sort of...

Hugging feeling, warm and cosy...

And it really never goes out style in certain circles. Ever.

It's just like giving yourself a hug...

I'm sold, I'll take 20. You guys are the most convincing marketers I've ever met.

Doesn't that sound wonderful? If would please come this way we can get you fitted as soon as possible.

 

[Terrible Opinions]

This seems vaguely relevant to the discussion at hand...


Now, imagining "What if I just did X" isn't weird. If, for you, that's triggered specifically by any sort of disfigurement? Yeah, that's a little unusual.

 

[Vault101]

that is...odd

I only ever have the urge to stare..and while staring IS rude its understandable in that if you see somthing off you want to make sense of it

 

[Nightmare99]

I think everyone has urges and impulses that they would never act upon. I think Jim Carrey put it best:

http://youtu.be/uIvGLOJPels

 

[lacktheknack]

Uhhhh...

I don't feel any urges whatsoever when I see people with physical abnormalities. If anything, I'm hit with a flash of sympathy, and nothing else.

So I'm gonna go with no, you don't sound exceptionally stable.

 

[MammothBlade]

I think what we miss is that humans are civilised beasts. Every one of us is capable of killing another person if given the means and trigger.
Many have the urge to kill another. Some give into it. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, OP, as long as you don't become the latter.

 

[FalloutJack]

Face time.

I'm afraid attacking someone who didn't have the right face is not a legitimate defense.

See, MY urge to kill is more pragmatic: I want to kill people who have gone out of their way to annoy me. It makes sense. They decided to bait the bear and the bear claws them to pieces. That's natural selection, because it's their own fault for being so dumb.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I have a genuine urge to commit horrible acts of violence on people and have rage and other emotional issues. But never for any real reason, especially not because of a disfigurement. I don't have any abnormal feelings for disfigured people. I see them and treat them as anyone else.

You should seek counseling. I have and its done wonders for me. I didn't have enough money to continue the counseling and I din't have insurance so I had to stop but it certainly helped a lot.

Seriously, get some therapy.

 

[Best of the 3]

Uhh, nope. can't say I've ever felt like that. I've been instantly annoyed and untrusting by some people's appearance before, but never wanted to kill anybody. That's just a bit too far.

 

[ADDmuse]

That is .... completely normal.

Now, if you will just slip on this new fancy jacket, it fastens up at the back to stop it falling off. It's just to keep you warm .... honest.

^You should listen to this guy.

The jacket is so comfortable, you'll never want to take it off.

It also gives a sort of...

Hugging feeling, warm and cosy...

And it really never goes out style in certain circles. Ever.

I'm sold, I'll take 20. You guys are the most convincing marketers I've ever met.

Can I get about 100? I'm thinking of giving some to my family for Christmas.

 

[Rawne1980]

Can I get about 100? I'm thinking of giving some to my family for Christmas.

Certainly.

And if you fancy a family holiday we have some lovely rooms to let.

Our building is set in a spacious ground surrounded by a high wall topped with razor wire to keep out the riff raff so they don't spoil your enjoyment.

Our rooms are wonderfully comfortable with extra, extra thick "wallpaper" .... we wouldn't want you falling over and hurting yourself after a day of hard partying in our recreation room.

Our caring "maids" will also call round every night to give you some "sweets" to make sure you have a great nights sleep.

 

[ADDmuse]

Can I get about 100? I'm thinking of giving some to my family for Christmas.

Certainly.

And if you fancy a family holiday we have some lovely rooms to let.

Our building is set in a spacious ground surrounded by a high wall topped with razor wire to keep out the riff raff so they don't spoil your enjoyment.

Our rooms are wonderfully comfortable with extra, extra thick "wallpaper" .... we wouldn't want you falling over and hurting yourself after a day of hard partying in our recreation room.

Our caring "maids" will also call round every night to give you some "sweets" to make sure you have a great nights sleep.

Awesome! Oh, but I'm going to need some rooms for my imaginary friends. They get kinda lonely if I'm not there and not all of them like each other. How's your calamity insurance?

 

[Nadia Castle]

It is exactly the same as the urge to jump off high places or run in front of cars for no reason. Just your brain telling you to do something everything else is telling you to resist.

I don't know why its people with disabilities in particular since I'm in no way 'normal' looking myself (No I don't dance around in front of Mirrors to 'Goodbye Horses' or anything). I've always thought it was a fairly common feeling before, mostly because everyone loves indulges in video games and films where people get thrill out of killing what are usually identifiable as humans but just a little different somehow. Again I stress I've never actually treated anyone with a disability any differently than anyone else or actually thrown a swing at anyone since I was about ten, its just a crazy split second desire.

 

[axlryder]

As much as I want to say "no, that's sick", I have to admit I had a potentially similar experience. There's a woman who comes into where I work. She's a completely broken person. She's constantly drunk and reeks of alcohol. She has very violent tendencies. She's psychologically unstable and perpetually says/does inappropriate things. She's just not a good person based upon her behavior. The thing is, she also has these horrible acne scars all over her face. By far the worst I've ever seen on a person. They go extremely deep. On top of the scars, she just happens to be very ugly and has 'crazy eyes'. All I know is that whenever I see her I get the urge to punch her in the face. I want to say it's really just her behavior that does this to me, but I can't say for certain if physical appearance doesn't somewhat contribute to that urge. There's another part of me that feels deeply sorry for her, but with all the bullshit I deal with on a daily basis my capacity for empathy is spread a bit thin.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

I don't know if jumping on the counselling bandwagon is the way to go. I've been getting urges pretty much since forever, of a very wide variety. You know, the sort of weird little needs that got mentioned in the earlier posts: throwing your own cell phone out the window, shoving the person in front of me so she falls in front of the oncoming subway train, maybe punch the occasional proselytizer in the nose the next time one shows up on my doorstep, et cetera.

I think it's in human nature to have violent or destructive urges, but our desire to act in society should be stronger. As long as you can consciously refrain from acting out Carmageddon with your jalopy and as long as there's enough of your mind left to make you realize that throwing a 400$ iPhone out the window is fucking stupid, you're probably fine. I don't believe in the idea that you can attain some kind of Zen perfection in which all these urges completely fade away.

We're civilized animals. There's always going to be a corner of our mind that pretty much specializes on making you want to pig out at the buffet or to violently fuck whomsoever happens to meet your personal criteria, even if you just crossed them on the street. The trick is to keep a steady leash on those impulses. No amount of shrink time will completely rid anyone of things like this, because they're far too deep-seated to be entirely ignored.

 

[Queen Michael]

I never get that urge from disfigurement, but I have gotten it from people whose looks I just don't like.

 

[DugMachine]

Can't say I've ever truly wanted to kill someone but if you bring your kid to the movies for a rated R movie at 11pm and they're crying I will punt kick that little shit to the moon.

But that's just plain annoyance. For disfigured people... idk I don't feel too much. Initial shock and then I get over it.

 

[Ieyke]

There's this one guy, just some dumb half-French kid...mildly annoying, but nothing major at all. I have nothing at all against him (or the French)....but I have an instinctive urge to beat the ever-loving crap out of him every time I see him.

No idea why.

He's the only person where anything remotely like that happens.

Well...there's also all the various French guys in Paris who look a lot like him. I have sort of a shadow of that urge to beat the crap out of him when I ran into them.

*shrug*

 

[The White Hunter]

Can't say I've ever felt that way because of someone's appearance... some mild disgust maybe but never as far as actually wanting to attack someone, still not really problem as long as it stays in your head. Those who foil my schemes on the other hand... no death is too painful.

That reminds me, how's that super cola-drill working out for ya?

OT: Meh. Just don';t actually kill them. I get the same thing when morbidly obese people walk 3 abreast down the fucking high street and I can't get past them and they move at the speed of treacle on fucking Pluto.

But I don't kill them so it's fine. Sometimes push them out of my way though.

 

[Griffolion]

Okay so I was sat on the bus today and a guy got on who had a disfigurement on his face. I don't know if it was burn or a rash or what but he had a huge red mark across his face and around his eye. It wasn't particularly horrible or anything but as soon as I saw him I felt some instinctive urge to attack him.

I never actually WOULD attack someone or treat them differently just because they have a condition but I always feel that urge when I see people with missing limbs or growths or something. I thought it might have been an instinctive fear of disease but surely that would make me want to get away rather than kill them?

Does anyone else feel this or am I just a psychopath in waiting or something?

First off, psychopathy isn't this condition that see's you just randomly becoming a serial killer one day. It's the complete lack of emotional connection, and thus remorse, you feel which both heightens ones chance to commit heinous crimes (because you lack the capability to think "oh, if they did that to me, i wouldn't like that") and lowers your chances to regret it afterwards. It can be hereditary through parental lines, brought on environmentally through toxins causing neurological damage or accidents causing trauma to specific areas to the brain, and also nurtured through life and growing up if there was negligence/trauma in your childhood.

I'd say you saw this guy who had been disfigured, and because he didn't fit into your schema of how a "normal" person looks (IE without disfigurement), your brain enacted a fight response as a knee jerk reaction to a stimulus that was outside your inner-consciousness' framework for that specific object (in this case, a person). There may be other things at work, linking into schemas, your brain may have seen the disfigurement as a sign of the scars of fighting, thus the person is likely to fight, and somehow thought it wise to prepare you for it.

The human brain is weird, this is what I learnt doing 3 years of neuropsych at university.

But the fact you're aware of what happened and that you thought it strange means in all likelihood that you're not a "psychopath".