Pixie's heart skipped a beat when she took in Amy's distressed appearance.
Amy...
"Come in."
Pixie did as she was told, stepping in close to cup the side of Amy's face, "Oh, sweetheart." She muttered.
"I-I'm sorry Pixie. I've spoiled it haven't I. My fault, I shouldn't have played. I just w-wanted them to like me, and now..."
Pixie began shushing her, "Amy, sweetie, no, it's not your fault,"She moved her hand to the back of Amy's head and pulled her in for a warm embrace. "Don' worry, baby, it's okay now. I'm here for you." She whispered in Amy's ear as they swayed side-to-side.
Amy began sobbing again, letting herself get pulled in. A moment later, she brought up her own hands and clutched at Pixie's back.
"I... I want to tell you." she whispered, fighting to speak coherently through the tears "I want to be better, b-but... you'll think I'm vile, disgusting. You won't want to touch me. You won't even want to look at me!"
Pixie shook her head, bringing one hand up across her back to squeeze her shoulder, "No, that ain't true baby, I promise. We've all done terrible thin's, Amy. Everyone in that room out there. Yer no different from any of 'em." She gave her neck a tender kiss before burying her face into Amy's shoulder once more. "Listen, Amy, there ain't nothin' you can tell me that'd change how I look at you."
She squeezed Amy tighter, "I've done it all. I've murdered, I've tortured, I've stolen. I've hurt the ones I love more times than I can count." She sighed. "I've been shot, stabbed, burned, tortured, raped an' beaten half-to-death on several occasions. After all that, if I can' look at you, how the fuck do ya' think I can look at myself?" She withdrew her head from Amy and held a hand to her chin so as to meet her gaze. "Darlin', you don' hafta tell me anythin' you don' wanna, but I'm hear if you need me. I'm hear if you need an ear. No matter what you tell me, I won' judge you. I promise."
It took Amy a minute to calm herself down, before she pushed away a little, so she could look into Pixie's face, their eyes meeting.
"Okay..." she said "okay. I-I can't tell you everything. Not yet, I'm sorry but I just can't. It was just tonight, a silly thing really, we were playing drinking games, and, well... pregnancy was mentioned."
Amy looked down again and took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy.
"I was thirteen, working in a brothel in Yuteni. There was a man who used to visit a lot. I... I was his favourite, or so I thought. He was a weak man, unhappily married, a drinker, but he was kind to me. He was one of the first ones who ever made me laugh.
I was so happy when the Madame called the doctor in, and he told me I was pregnant. I didn't really understand too much about the concept back then, of having and raising a child, but it always sounded like the most wonderful thing. Something that, someone like me, could ever hope for. It sounds stupid now, but I thought that if I told him, he would love me and the baby both so much, that he would take us away. I thought back then that I might be able to start again."
Her legs were shaking, and Amy had to go and sit down, closing the lid on the toilet basin, before she could continue.
"The next time he visited me, I waited until he's had two glasses of whiskey. I think that was a mistake now, maybe he wouldn't have done it otherwise. At the time, I thought that if he'd had a bit to drink, he'd be even more happy when I told him. He... he was quiet for a long time, but I thought that was fine, at first, I waited a while, while we just sat there in silence, before I asked him what we were going to do. That got his attention, but... the way he looked at me Pixie, like I was filth. I'd never seen his eyes so full of revulsion before... an-and then he hit me."
Holding her hand to her mouth, Amy chocked down another few sobs. She'd started now, she had to finish.
"Once he'd knocked me to the ground, he kept punching and kicking me, in the stomach and below, all the while saying these awful things, like how I was nothing but a dumb whore, and that I was going to ruin everything. He told me that... that the only reason he'd picked me was because he thought I was too young, that this could never happen. That was when he drew his gun. I thought he was going to kill me, but he only wanted to use the grip to beat me some more.
By the time the Madame heard my screams, and came running, th-there was so much blood. I remember him taking off just before I passed out. When I woke up, the Doctor was standing over my bed. I... I didn't need him to say anything. I could tell just by the look on his face. My baby was gone. I was a dumb whore, and whores like me were the only family I would ever have."
Burying her face in her hands, Amy couldn't bring herself to say any more.
Pixie stood before her as she told her tale. It was a good thing Amy hadn't the ability to look Pixie in the eye, for she'd have likely faltered while telling her story. About halfway through, when it was clear where it was going, Pixie had balled her hands into fists. Rage. A primal, unquenchable rage bellowed from her heart, causing her blood to boil. Though she hadn't noticed it herself, she'd dug her canine into her lower lip, causing blood to trickle down to her chin. She wanted so badly to ask the man's name, to learn of his fate and if he lived... she'd change that right quick.
Thankfully, however, she had in her enough empathy to tell how little such a gesture would be worth. It was so easy to lose yourself in such a tale. To summon forth similar memories from her own life and insert herself into Amy's shoes. No, talks of revenge meant nothing here. Not now. What Amy needed was love. She needed something that she'd never felt before. Pixie had the means to give it to her and it took every bit of strength she had to push past the grief and anger and reach out. She had to stop making everything about herself. She had to help this girl, for she was the only one who could.
Pixie knelt down and brushed Amy's hair to the side. Catching it between her fingers, Pixie held it to the side so as to see her face, and lifted her chin once more with her other hand, "No, Amy, you're wrong. You have a family now. You have yer sisters. You have the Maidens." She offered her a weak smile. "You have me." Her lips quivered as she fought to hold the smile for Amy's sake. She couldn't let her see how hard it had it her. How close to home she'd come. This wasn't about Pixie. For once, she wanted to be the one to comfort Amy. She deserved as much.
She began wiping the girl's tears away, "How 'bout we get out of this bathroom, okay?"
Amy looked up, responding to Pixie's touch, and was able to smile just a little bit, which for the current situation was practically equivalent to breaking into song.
"I-I think I need a minute or two, but then okay, when I'm not looking such a mess."
She noticed that Pixie had bitten her lip hard enough to draw blood. For a woman like her, so devoted to defending others with all her fierceness, listening to a story like that can't have been much easier than it was for Amy to tell it. Lifting up her hand, still trembling a little, Amy wiped away some of the blood as gracefully as she could, before leaning forward and kissing her softly on the lips.
"Pixie... promise me you won't blame the others. It wasn't their fault."
Pixie smiled, "Of course not, Amy. I'm sure they were jus' 'avin' some fun. Don' worry, I won' shout anyone's head off." She kissed Amy again. "You know, I'm really proud'a you fer openin' up like that, sweetheart. Yer a brave one."
"Thanks" Amy replied weakly "I hope you won't mind if that's as much opening up as I can handle for one day though."
It had helped though. Amy hadn't realised until now, but the telling of it had made her feel just a little bit lighter, or maybe that was just the alcohol again.
"You go on ahead." she told Pixie, smiling. "I'll catch you up in a few minutes."
Pixie nodded, "Okay, Amy. Jus' holler if ya' need me, I won' be far." After kissing her one last time on the forehead, Pixie got to her feet and walked out. After stepping through the door, she closed it behind her and leaned against it. Sighing heavily, she pulled the orchid out of her pocket and looked it over. It was best she save that conversation for later.