"An-an-an then I said, 'Ye cannae put a decryption code on that thing! It's a cabbage!'" Allie burst out laughing, tipping over onto her side as she struggled to catch her breath. Her and Sprout hadn't been at it very long, but the alcohol was already affecting the small girl.
Sprout pretended he knew what the fuck she was talking about and laughed a long with her. He was a bit tipsy, but not quite drunk yet. "So, I take it you an' Ruffles 'ave been gettin' along mighty fine so far, eh?" he asked her. "Sounds like 'is sense'a humor's rubbin' off on ya'."
Still snickering to herself on the floor, her curls covering her face, Allie took a few moments to catch her breath. "Oh aye, R-Roofles is a great teacher, I'm learnin' ab-about... stuff a-an'... things." The girl couldn't recall it ever being this difficult to construct basic sentence before. "H-he-he's... er." The girl trailed off as she reached for the bottle near her feet, failing miserably.
"Here you go, Drunk-o," Sprout chuckled as he handed her the bottle. "You gonna be sad when he's gone?"
"Course I w-will." Allie whimpered, pouting as she finally managed to push herself back into a sitting position. Taking the bottle from Sprout, she took a small swig, scrunching her face as she shooked her head slightly. "Th-this tastes so bad, b-but I can't stop!" She snickered to herself, mumbling something inaudible. "If-if somethin' goes wrong with the ship, I gotta fix it, and with no R-Roofles around, I'mma probably mess it up, and then there will be explosions, and then we all die."
Sprout shoved her lightly. "Fuck that," he told her. "Yer a smart lil' lday, you'll figure it out. Before long you'll be the new Ruffles. Everyone will be lookin' to you ta' solve all the Maiden's mechanical issues. It's a tall order, sure, but I reckon you still gotta few inches ta' grow yet." He laughed and took a liberal swig.
Being the 'grown-up' was actually kind of fun.
"Explosions!" Allie cried, waving her arms out as she mimicked the noise of said explosion. "It'll be awesome." She brushed her hair from her face as she looked at Sprout, a drunken smile curling her lips. "Yo-you'll see, I'll b-I'll be the tallest and m-most pretty girl on the ship, but one with a brain." She nodded solemnly as she tapped the side of her head with her knuckles.
"I don' reckon it'll be too hard ta' outsmart most the other ladies on this ship," he admitted. "Most of 'em tend ta' think with their ovaries rather than their brains, but I think there's hope fer you yet, kid."
"Flatterer." Allie cooed, nudging Sprout's leg. "T-that might work on Amy and the o-others, but not on me, laddie." She tapped the side of her nose, squinting slightly. "I am immune to your charms."
Sprout scoffed. "Yeah right, *****. If I wanted to I could sweep you off yer feet like it was nothin'," he boasted. "You'd be all weak in the knees and chirpin' my name!"
"That's d-d-disgusting." Allie sneered slightly. "I'm th-thirteen, the fuck is wrong with you?" She chuckled as she took another swig from the bottle. "Redneck bastard."
"I never said I'd act on it!" Sprout panicked. "I ain't into chicks with flat racks anyhow!"
"Flat?" Allie pouted as she raised her hands to her chest. "No, I'm just..." She pouted even more "Nan said I'mma slow starter, but I've seen pictures of my mam, she's tall, and leggy, and... ample." She smiled as she glanced down at herself. "You'll see." She stuck her tongue out at the boy.
Sprout cocked an eyebrow. "Maybe, maybe," he said. "You know, we're only two years apart. That shit won't be weird in like... four or five years. Maybe you'll 'ave boobs by then an' you can try ta' court my fine ass."
"M-maybe I won't want to." Allie turned up her nose. "Maybe I'll stay s-single, and unaffiliated, and focus on building my robot army of death machines, who's to say."
"Trust me Allie, you stay on the Maiden long enough an' you'll turn into a proper slut," he explained with a firm nod. "It happens to the best of us."
"You r-really know how to talk to a girl, don't you?" Allie scoffed as she stretched her arms out in front of her. "No wonder blondie left." She chuckled to herself.
Sprout pouted. "I--I...." his words failed him. "Maybe. Maybe she was jus' tired'a babysittin' me all the time. I dunno..."
"Naaaah, that's not it." Allie waved her hand dismissively, blowing a raspberry. "I've seen you t-two together." She smiled warmly. "I hope me an' Gale are l-like you two someday." She nodded her head solemly. "But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, ain't no stoppin' someone like her once her mind's set on somethin'." She crossed her arms as she puffed out her chest proudly. "Like me!"
Sprout rolled his eyes. "Why does every woman in my life 'ave ta' be a badass?" he whined. "Is it so much to ask fer a damsel in distress every now an' again? Fuckin' ovaries, man."
"Well someone had ta step up." Allie grinned. "It ain't gonna be you, is it?" The girl chuckled as she nudged his leg with her foot. "You're already whipped by your lady love."
"You don' know shit," Sprout claimed. "I reckon you don' even know how sex even works."
"Eh, how complicated can it be?" Allie smiled smugly. "Laddie, I've dismantled the engine of the ship and put it back together again, I think I can figure out how 'slot A fits into slot B'"
Sprout took another swig of his bottle before wiping his lips with his sleeve. He was starting to really feel it now. "Ah, you don' know fuckin' dick," he repeated. "There's way more to it than that!"
Allie wobbled slightly. She was really dizzy, it was all she could do to not tip onto her side. "I'm learnin' about 'em, I'm talking to a dick right now." She giggled, taking another swig.
"Smartass!" Sprout spat as he snatched her bottle out of her hand. "Yer drinkin' too much. The booze is gettin' to yer head. Makin' you talk crazy!"
"Nooooooo." The girl whined, leaning forward with outstretched hands as she tried to take back the bottle. "Gimme!" Her enthusiasm quickly waned however, falling on her side next to the boy, she looked up at him pouting. "You're a monster."
Sprout's grin was smug and cruel. "I know," he agreed. "I'm the big meanie who wouldn' let you get alcohol poisonin' the first time you got drunk!"
"Your concern for me tastes like b-betrayal." Allie mumbled as she pushed herself up, lying her her head in the boy's lap. Smiling tiredly, the girl yawn slightly. "T-this was fun, Sproot." She cooed gently. "Thanks for hangin' out with me."
"Yeah, it was fun," he replied with a wry smirk. "Yer alright, Allie. A lil' loud an' annoyin', but purdy cool too."
"An' you're a crass hick with a speech impediment." She mumbled sleepily. "I guess you're 'purdy' cool too."
"I reckon I should get yer pale ass back to Gale, huh," Sprout muttered to himself. "Fuck it, I'm lazy. Gale can wait."
Sprout took another swig. He was hellbent on getting drunker than ever this night.
With Pixie's booze at his disposal, that would be a simple task.
"Screw Gale." The girl pursed her lips. "She bailed on me to screw Jesse." She scrunched her face in distaste. "Fuck that guy."
"Cheers ta' that."
Sprout pretended he knew what the fuck she was talking about and laughed a long with her. He was a bit tipsy, but not quite drunk yet. "So, I take it you an' Ruffles 'ave been gettin' along mighty fine so far, eh?" he asked her. "Sounds like 'is sense'a humor's rubbin' off on ya'."
Still snickering to herself on the floor, her curls covering her face, Allie took a few moments to catch her breath. "Oh aye, R-Roofles is a great teacher, I'm learnin' ab-about... stuff a-an'... things." The girl couldn't recall it ever being this difficult to construct basic sentence before. "H-he-he's... er." The girl trailed off as she reached for the bottle near her feet, failing miserably.
"Here you go, Drunk-o," Sprout chuckled as he handed her the bottle. "You gonna be sad when he's gone?"
"Course I w-will." Allie whimpered, pouting as she finally managed to push herself back into a sitting position. Taking the bottle from Sprout, she took a small swig, scrunching her face as she shooked her head slightly. "Th-this tastes so bad, b-but I can't stop!" She snickered to herself, mumbling something inaudible. "If-if somethin' goes wrong with the ship, I gotta fix it, and with no R-Roofles around, I'mma probably mess it up, and then there will be explosions, and then we all die."
Sprout shoved her lightly. "Fuck that," he told her. "Yer a smart lil' lday, you'll figure it out. Before long you'll be the new Ruffles. Everyone will be lookin' to you ta' solve all the Maiden's mechanical issues. It's a tall order, sure, but I reckon you still gotta few inches ta' grow yet." He laughed and took a liberal swig.
Being the 'grown-up' was actually kind of fun.
"Explosions!" Allie cried, waving her arms out as she mimicked the noise of said explosion. "It'll be awesome." She brushed her hair from her face as she looked at Sprout, a drunken smile curling her lips. "Yo-you'll see, I'll b-I'll be the tallest and m-most pretty girl on the ship, but one with a brain." She nodded solemnly as she tapped the side of her head with her knuckles.
"I don' reckon it'll be too hard ta' outsmart most the other ladies on this ship," he admitted. "Most of 'em tend ta' think with their ovaries rather than their brains, but I think there's hope fer you yet, kid."
"Flatterer." Allie cooed, nudging Sprout's leg. "T-that might work on Amy and the o-others, but not on me, laddie." She tapped the side of her nose, squinting slightly. "I am immune to your charms."
Sprout scoffed. "Yeah right, *****. If I wanted to I could sweep you off yer feet like it was nothin'," he boasted. "You'd be all weak in the knees and chirpin' my name!"
"That's d-d-disgusting." Allie sneered slightly. "I'm th-thirteen, the fuck is wrong with you?" She chuckled as she took another swig from the bottle. "Redneck bastard."
"I never said I'd act on it!" Sprout panicked. "I ain't into chicks with flat racks anyhow!"
"Flat?" Allie pouted as she raised her hands to her chest. "No, I'm just..." She pouted even more "Nan said I'mma slow starter, but I've seen pictures of my mam, she's tall, and leggy, and... ample." She smiled as she glanced down at herself. "You'll see." She stuck her tongue out at the boy.
Sprout cocked an eyebrow. "Maybe, maybe," he said. "You know, we're only two years apart. That shit won't be weird in like... four or five years. Maybe you'll 'ave boobs by then an' you can try ta' court my fine ass."
"M-maybe I won't want to." Allie turned up her nose. "Maybe I'll stay s-single, and unaffiliated, and focus on building my robot army of death machines, who's to say."
"Trust me Allie, you stay on the Maiden long enough an' you'll turn into a proper slut," he explained with a firm nod. "It happens to the best of us."
"You r-really know how to talk to a girl, don't you?" Allie scoffed as she stretched her arms out in front of her. "No wonder blondie left." She chuckled to herself.
Sprout pouted. "I--I...." his words failed him. "Maybe. Maybe she was jus' tired'a babysittin' me all the time. I dunno..."
"Naaaah, that's not it." Allie waved her hand dismissively, blowing a raspberry. "I've seen you t-two together." She smiled warmly. "I hope me an' Gale are l-like you two someday." She nodded her head solemly. "But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, ain't no stoppin' someone like her once her mind's set on somethin'." She crossed her arms as she puffed out her chest proudly. "Like me!"
Sprout rolled his eyes. "Why does every woman in my life 'ave ta' be a badass?" he whined. "Is it so much to ask fer a damsel in distress every now an' again? Fuckin' ovaries, man."
"Well someone had ta step up." Allie grinned. "It ain't gonna be you, is it?" The girl chuckled as she nudged his leg with her foot. "You're already whipped by your lady love."
"You don' know shit," Sprout claimed. "I reckon you don' even know how sex even works."
"Eh, how complicated can it be?" Allie smiled smugly. "Laddie, I've dismantled the engine of the ship and put it back together again, I think I can figure out how 'slot A fits into slot B'"
Sprout took another swig of his bottle before wiping his lips with his sleeve. He was starting to really feel it now. "Ah, you don' know fuckin' dick," he repeated. "There's way more to it than that!"
Allie wobbled slightly. She was really dizzy, it was all she could do to not tip onto her side. "I'm learnin' about 'em, I'm talking to a dick right now." She giggled, taking another swig.
"Smartass!" Sprout spat as he snatched her bottle out of her hand. "Yer drinkin' too much. The booze is gettin' to yer head. Makin' you talk crazy!"
"Nooooooo." The girl whined, leaning forward with outstretched hands as she tried to take back the bottle. "Gimme!" Her enthusiasm quickly waned however, falling on her side next to the boy, she looked up at him pouting. "You're a monster."
Sprout's grin was smug and cruel. "I know," he agreed. "I'm the big meanie who wouldn' let you get alcohol poisonin' the first time you got drunk!"
"Your concern for me tastes like b-betrayal." Allie mumbled as she pushed herself up, lying her her head in the boy's lap. Smiling tiredly, the girl yawn slightly. "T-this was fun, Sproot." She cooed gently. "Thanks for hangin' out with me."
"Yeah, it was fun," he replied with a wry smirk. "Yer alright, Allie. A lil' loud an' annoyin', but purdy cool too."
"An' you're a crass hick with a speech impediment." She mumbled sleepily. "I guess you're 'purdy' cool too."
"I reckon I should get yer pale ass back to Gale, huh," Sprout muttered to himself. "Fuck it, I'm lazy. Gale can wait."
Sprout took another swig. He was hellbent on getting drunker than ever this night.
With Pixie's booze at his disposal, that would be a simple task.
"Screw Gale." The girl pursed her lips. "She bailed on me to screw Jesse." She scrunched her face in distaste. "Fuck that guy."
"Cheers ta' that."