My main problem with Family Guy: It's not funny in its writing. When I watched it, I found myself laughing in spite of myself. I realized it was because the show is visually funny. Yes, there's such a thing. Walt Disney used to hold test screenings of his cartoons without sound to make sure that they were visually funny. Look at the spastic, jerky style of Family Guy's animation. It's designed to make you laugh just by watching it, and that makes me hate it even more.
And I might be inclined to give the post-cancellation show a chance, except for several things.
1. Bob, you liked The Hangover. Hell, you loved The Hangover. When I saw it, it was definitely a set of the worst 90 minutes of my life and thinking about it still makes me bitter.
2. Your butt-hurting over Star Trek: Into Darkness and ignoring/insulting what made it good made me lose faith in your ability to objectively critique. I'm convinced that your opinions are ruled by your nostalgia.
3. All the traits of the director's works that you listed are unappealing or disgusting to me.
Also, before watching this I was simply uninclined to watch Bob's Burgers. Now I'm going to try not to.