The Counterattack

[iniudan]

I bet every coworker peed in that bottle in order to fill the whole thing up. I highly doubt one man can fill up that much, especially after peeing already during the conversation lol.

I've had moments where I've filled 2 water bottles and still needed room for more. Coffee goes right through me... 3+ cups in the AM due to insomnia the night before and work that morning.

And you were peeing in a water bottle at work because...?

I used to drive long distances for a living and was on a schedule I couldn't stop for. Its pure talent to be able to piss in a water bottle while driving and not wreck horrendously.

EDIT: Hit post too quick... Meant to add that the road I was driving at that particular moment didn't really have a shoulder to pull off on that didn't involve plunging the car into a body of water.

Get a better car... =p

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

Spoiler: Snip!!

Get a better car... =p

Wish I had that back then since I lived in the FL Keys, woulda made those backed up traffic days due to an accident up the road much more manageable.

 

[jklinders]

So let me see if I have this right, you had suspicions that a co-worker was stealing lunches so instead of asking management to investigate you deliberately poisoned them? Well, this earns you an official High-Five from human resources...

Not right. We DID ask management to investigate.

Asking for something from bad management most certainly does not mean they follow up on it.

And as for poisoning them... if they didn't break policy so flagrantly, they would have been fine. No one was supposed to eat that lunch.

Pretty much this. Every workplace seems to have one power tripping asshole in it who seems to think they can just do anything they want. They mostly can because even the most micromanaged workplace has managers who just don't give two fucks about things like this. Asshole learned a lesson. Everyone else's lunches get left alone for a bit. Seems like a win win to me.

 

[vallorn]

It seems like somebody called up for the Saxton Hale pills just to deal with office pranks.

 

[Blackout62]

Ooh, Kirkland. That's Costco's secret really good water when it's not actually piss.

 

[Fox12]

He managed quite an impressive quantity...

You'd have to label it "Vitamin Water", something to explain the colour away.

"It's got lemon in it."

OT: We did this at my last workplace. Not THIS, exactly, but we boobytrapped someone's lunchbag with two-months-past-the-expiry-date lunchmeat and rancid nuts and left it in the fridge. Soon enough, we found out who was stealing lunches.

So let me see if I have this right, you had suspicions that a co-worker was stealing lunches so instead of asking management to investigate you deliberately poisoned them? Well, this earns you an official High-Five from human resources...

"In an unjust world, he's learned that the only justice.... Is the justice you take."

*dubstep noises*

I would have taken the laxative route myself, but there you are. They can't ever prove you did anything, and even if they could then they'd have to turn themselves in.