The Dating Advice Thread

[triggrhappy94]

Pretty much all in the title.
Give whatever advice you can in general or to certain people in perticular, or post your own situation help.

Spoiler: My own

I find, because of how shy I am, my only shot is if it's someone I go to school with so it's not creepy when I add them on facebook--as a opposed to meeting someone on the street. From there I try to make small talk in person, then message the person on facebook. From there I eventually ask for their number. ?????. Profit.
That's normally the point where I never really hear from them again. Both times I've tried since my last relationship have ended this way. I don't let it get to me.

My advice in general:
Fortes fortuna adiuvat
Fortune favors the bold. You want to talk to someone? Just take the shot. There's no point in trying to save-face with this person if you never try.

 

[Jonluw]

It turns out that proposing sex while out on a date by whipping out your erect penis is a bit of a turn-off for some girls, and might even get you kicked out of the restaurant.

Unsolicited anal penetration is generally frowned upon, apparently.

Some girls will respond negatively to sex with the level of, uh... vigour you're no doubt used to porn actors displaying under intercourse.

When a girl takes you to meet her mother, it is only very rarely an invitation to a threesome.

I'm really just posting to bump, because I can see this thread becoming entertaining. Asking me for dating advice is like asking Edward Scissorhands for tips on handjobs: you will be none the wiser, and it's possible that both you and your partner will end up scarred.

 

[Lionsfan]

Getting your car stolen can be a turn-off for most women, but make sure to latch onto the ones that aren't turned off

 

[triggrhappy94]

Some of these posts remind me of a story I heard--on here I think--about how some guy would go around the bar and ask girls if they wanted to have sex. Most of the time he'd get slapped, but he never left the bar alone.

 

[triggrhappy94]

Some of these posts remind me of a story I heard--on here I think--about how some guy would go around the bar and ask girls if they wanted to have sex. Most of the time he'd get slapped, but he never left the bar alone.

Reminds of a more extreme example I know of. This guy wanders around and asks every girl if they take it up the ass, if they get offended then they're not filthy enough for him. Not a fan of that guy.

That's really creepy. It seems like something someone might do as a joke with cameras hidden near y to watch their responce. But there has to be something illegal about going around straight-faced and seriously asking people that.

 

[triggrhappy94]

You've never been to the nightclub in my hometown. Charm is apparently equal to a popped collar and the price of 5 bacardi breezers. Luckily I don't live in that town now and have discovered that there's actually clubs that play good music and are populated by people who are actually interesting.

I couldn't stand a place like that. I'm not really sure how I'd fair in a good club, actually. I don't really like super crowded places.

 

[triggrhappy94]

You've never been to the nightclub in my hometown. Charm is apparently equal to a popped collar and the price of 5 bacardi breezers. Luckily I don't live in that town now and have discovered that there's actually clubs that play good music and are populated by people who are actually interesting.

I couldn't stand a place like that. I'm not really sure how I'd fair in a good club, actually. I don't really like super crowded places.

It was the only choice in that town unfortunately unless you wanted to go home at half 11 on a Saturday. It's not too bad really. Are you a smoker or at least not bothered by smoke? If so the smoking areas are normally a little less packed and a bit quieter. To be honest I don't know how people meet girls in clubs otherwise, the club itself is too loud to hold a conversation. Maybe those people know how to dance or something.

Well, I don't smoke, but it's never really bothered me as long as it isn't really stail. I live in California though, it's illegal to smoke in-doors in any public place, so smoking sections are kind of non-existant. I don't think I'd go to a club to meet people anyways.

 

[the Dept of Science]

Oh that's not expected. Within about 10 posts the "Dating Advice Thread" becomes "complain about douchebags and clubbing thread"

 

[Lilani]

Oh that's not expected. Within about 10 posts the "Dating Advice Thread" becomes "complain about douchebags and clubbing thread"

I think it's funny how many people translate dating as "clubbing" or "picking up chicks at the bar." I translate it as a relationship, as in love beyond alcohol and sex.

 

[Rawne1980]

Advice for women .... You have boobs, men want those boobs ..... that is all.

Advice for men .... See those boobs you stare at every day, stop it you pervert. Her eyes are not on her chest (although it would be so much simpler, and slightly creepy, if they were).

All I can say, for those wanting a "serious" relationship is try and be yourself. Even if yourself is a complete numpty. Some women have the almost supernatural knack of seeing through a blokes bullshit.

Women, you can be whoever you want. You have boobs and men want them.

There really is no serious way for me to approach this subject, so please note the above is no way meant to be taken seriously.

 

[Suicidejim]

I translate it as a relationship, as in love beyond alcohol and sex.

Wait, you mean . . . that's a real thing?

Wow. My mind is just blown.

 

[Vault101]

chlorform + rag

learn some indoctrination techniques and your good to go

 

[Zen Toombs]

#1 advice: Get her drunk!

Toombs disapproves -5

chlorform + rag

learn some indoctrination techniques and your good to go

Toombs approves +7

Do not question why this one treats those two similar responses differently.

Move along.

 

[triggrhappy94]

Oh that's not expected. Within about 10 posts the "Dating Advice Thread" becomes "complain about douchebags and clubbing thread"

A conversation just ended up happening. I didn't mind because each post was another bump.

 

[Vault101]

Oh that's not expected. Within about 10 posts the "Dating Advice Thread" becomes "complain about douchebags and clubbing thread"

I think it's funny how many people translate dating as "clubbing" or "picking up chicks at the bar." I translate it as a relationship, as in love beyond alcohol and sex.

thats not "dating" thats "meeting/picking up chicks"

 

[geK0]

Don't try to "have game" It just makes you seem like a scum bag lol

 

[chadachada123]

To a generic person looking for dating advice, my absolute best advice is this:

Play Katawa Shoujo, and every time that Hisao looks like a complete ass to you, don't do it. It'll also give you a good idea to how every type of girl you'll date will act like.

 

[Psychedelic Spartan]

If girl who is not a prostitute responds to the question "do you want to do nasty, nasty things with me" then you are shallow and need to work out your priorities. Also, girls fall for just the basics like being clean ie bri=ushing your teeth, not smelling, etc. Sources: Myself, who has never been in a relationship...

 

[JaceArveduin]

Let me just find something one of gals told us in the clan forums... I'll just spoiler the entire thread, which was titled "Dating tip boys"

Spoiler

Amber: When your new girlfriend asks what your view is on porn, the correct answer is not "widescreen HD". *looks at Michael*

Brave: These are getting repeatedly worse we all know Michael watches full screen....

Deathy: More spamm. What a surprise!

Amber: Get out Deathy! /eyeroll

Samwise: What is the correct answer to such a question?

Amber: You tell me, I already told you what is the incorrect answer.

Samwise: Assuming there is only one incorrect answer, I'd say it gets me through the less eventful parts of the day rather well.

Jace: the obvious answer is "What's Porn?"

Brave: You sir are so god damn brilliant i just can't fathom it

Sweeney (micheal): I like the little burst of excitement when a girl takes her pants off and reveals she has a dick. Shemale porn ftw.

Amber: (quoting Brave) Lol'd!
(quoting Sweeney) get help

Brave: (quoting sweeney) Lol'd

Sea: lolz sweeny has failed the daily question of the month

Magic: lol, or you could say, "can we make a tape together, and then we could both watch it on the H.D. big screen." OR, a really bad answer might be, "We can watch it together." True story i have a friend that is dating and he and his G.f. watch porn together then they try to reenact it.

Ducky: My mate and his Girlfriend were in the process of copulating late last night. At the end of the copulation, just as he was about to Ejaculate he said "Ahhh...Bisto"

His mrs flipped out at first but then laughed about it when he recounted the tale to his old chums, morale of the story is: Spontaneity is the backbone of a good relationship.

/True story, laughed my fucking arse off.

Sweeney: I lol'

Ah, good times in the Armory.

 

[Vault101]

Don't try to "have game" It just makes you seem like a scum bag lol

what the heck is that?