The death of a bully

[FieryButterfly]

This may sound completely heartless (and i have a feeling it will)... but if all the bullies that plague me die i will laugh and dance happily on their graves as they rot into nothing as i still breath. That will be the happiest day of my life..

As far as your situation, i would think it'd feel normal not to feel anything. After all they hurt you so why would you feel anything? I don't know, but that's just me.

 

[Private Custard]

If the people who bullied me in secondary school died in horrible ways, I wouldn't care. Hell, I might even laugh.

Yep, I'd definately laugh. I'd also go to great lengths to let all the other arsehole bullies he probably still hangs around with know that he, like them, is a **** and deserved whatever he got.

Bitter? Yep!

 

[Starke]

There was a similar thread a few months back where the person in question was celebrating the suicide of a girl he tormented

THAT guy should feel bad

But you're ok

Wait, seriously? That's fucked up.

 

[Nifarious]

Am I wrong, for not feeling anything?

This popular thread may have answered your questions well already, but I'll just quickly add 2 cents.

People mourn over the death of jackasses for a whole lot of reasons that have nothing to do with the deceased.
1. Being reminded of death and violence shocks them from ignoring both as they do in daily life. It's concern for themselves and their own loved ones that they grieve for.
2. Going with Freud, you grieve for the asshole because you feel guilty for hating him in secret. It taps into the primitive concern that your thoughts actually have an effect on reality. You feel like since your wishes came true, the deceased would be out to get you if you didn't in turn make show of mourning. His example is headhunters who keep the heads of their fallen enemies, but show the shrunken heads much cherishing under the belief that their enemies have now defected to their side.
(Of course, it's good that this doesn't apply specifically to you, but it works for people in general, especially where negative emotions are mixed with positive ones.)
3. People mourn for the dead simply to give dignity to their definition of humanity, and most of all themselves for being so noble. It's easy for people to 'love' humanity in general, when love, of course, only applies to the particular.
4. Socially, of course it looks good to mourn with others. People are more concerned in situations like these to find someone to mourn with than the actual mourning itself. The same applies for an Atheist that talks about heaven and God simply because that's the currency by which mourning is discussed in most western countries.

Anyway, that's the short of it. I'd recommend getting some Nietzsche if you want to get into this sort of thing. But regardless, it's best that you're reacting this way. It's neither good nor bad that the person is dead. It simply doesn't concern you.
But also be sensitive to the fact that not feeling doesn't mean that you aren't in some less visible way affected. There's nothing bad in this, just take it easy and good luck.

 

[Eggsnham]

In your situation, I probably wouldn't care much either. Hell, when someone who "bullied" me left to go live a healthy amount of miles (Kilometers, for the rest of the world) away from where I'd ever be, I was unbelievably happy for a week. Granted, he didn't die, but it's close enough for me.

 

[Tucker154]

If he bullied u and made your life a living hell,I see no reason why you should show any simpithy.To the family,maybe ,but the person himself,no.i no people that if they died it would make my life better and I would feel any kind of sadness for.

 

[Booze Zombie]

You hated someone and don't miss them, it's not so hard to understand.

 

[WorldCritic]

It's normal to not feel anything besides shock, I've received news before about people I new who died, but if I didn't really like them then shock was all I felt.

 

[EboMan7x]

He was your bully. Why should you be sad he died?

 

[Chris^^]

your indifference is nothing bad, it would be worse for you to go to the funeral and feign mourning than to remain somewhat apathetic.

you can still recognise the sadness of his passing, but there's no reason for you to mourn someone you never liked.

so long as you're not glad he died I see nothing wrong with your attitude.

 

[Brain_Cleanser]

Same thing happened to me. Though for a bit I couldn't remember who he was, then one day it clicked and I said (to some rather close friends) "I remember that guy now. He was a DICK."
It's not wrong that you feel no sympathy, especially if he was doing whatever lead to his death (Getting shot does just happen to unfortunate bystanders, but...)
You're not in the wrong, don't sweat it.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

No, I don't think you're a horrible human being for feeling indifferent about his death. I probably wouldn't be overly upset if I heard about one of my old bullies dieing either. Now if you said you were glad he died, then I might be inclined to call you a horrible human being... maybe. _>

 

[ffs-dontcare]

Hi, Escapist.

I just found out not 10 minutes ago, that apparently my very own, personal high school bully, was shot and killed a few days ago. This is a guy, that most of us saw as highly unlikeable, and he continued to make my life hell ages after we both graduated.
I honestly believe, that if I met him on the street today, I would hear the same taunts from him, as five years ago. At least that was honestly the case when I saw him last. And that's not that long ago.

Most of my old classmates has shown sadness by his passing. Some are even attending the funeral. None of us really liked him, yet, I suppose it's common decency, and instinct, to be sad in a situation like this. Or, is it?

Am I wrong, for not feeling anything? Even now, I can't produce a single positive thought on the guy. I'm a bit shocked, yes, but that's mostly in regards to a murder occuring in my little town.

What do you guys think? Am I a horrible human being, for feeling so indifferent to his death?
And what about you guys? I think most of us has had our very own bully, and some of us might not even be rid of them yet. How are you supposed to react, and how would you react?



NOTE: I'm sorry for the lack of big, existential discussion value here, but I know that if I do tell someone at home, just how I feel (or don't feel), I will get that "horrible person" reaction.

I have something similar to tell.

There was this guy who absolutely hated me during my time at a private school. He and I often exchanged harsh words. He even once went out of his way to run me over on his bike at full speed in front of everyone, and to add insult to injury they all helped him up (he was completely uninjured) and surrounded him as they all went to the infirmary, but not before they snarled at me and belittled me on the spot as I lay there.

"Are you okay?!"
"I'm fine."
"NOT YOU!"
"..."

Meanwhile, as they disappeared, the only person who helped me up was the Principal - coincidentally, the mother of the girl who belittled me. As she took me to the infirmary, the other students came out with the guy who ran me over, and they all gave me a look of evil. Our relationship obviously didn't get any better.

A few years ago, I found out that the guy had died. He was driving with a girl from my church, and they both got killed when they plowed straight head-on into a truck coming at them.

Did I feel sorry for them? No. Well, I felt sorry for the girl. But I sure as hell felt nothing for the guy.

I even insulted him in the comments section of a tribute video someone made for him. Admittedly that was a little out of line, but it was not a proper reason for them to seek me out and try to harm me. A friend I knew in high school told me someone had approached her at work and asked for my address. At another point, some people tried to run me over with their car. I know this because I was crossing the street after having checked for cars, and all of a sudden their car was there, on the wrong side of the road no less. Assholes tend to be friends with assholes.

Anyway, in regards to your original question, no. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you did. Even if you felt... happy for his death, I would see nothing wrong with that. Especially after the crap he gave you.

 

[Exo-Mike]

I have an aunt that was diagnosed with a brain tumor

Backstory: She doesn't like me and I don't like her. We have always made it quite clear and in true family tradition act as politely as possible to each other when we inadvertantly end up in the same room together.

My Mum expected some emotional response when she told me that my Aunt had a death sentance

I personaly thought: And this affects me how?

I realise some people might think me harsh, but trust me if you met her you wouldnt like her either.

 

[thenoblitt]

I see nothing wrong with you, the guy was an asshole to everybody, i would probably have the same reaction as you

 

[benoitowns]

I dont understand why you are upset. He made your life suck, now he has no life and can no longer bother you...Damn psychological empathy....

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

You are not a horrible person. This person tormented you for years and never managed to grow up even after High School and he got what was coming to him.

 

[Sporky111]

In my opinion, if you didn't love someone or believe that humanity or some-such is losing something by someone's passing, then you don't have to feel bad about it. I might seem cold-hearted, but what has he done to earn your grief? Nothing. If someone I know, maybe not even a bully, maybe just someone I didn't like, died suddenly I wouldn't feel bad. They didn't earn my grief, they didn't improve my life when they were alive, so I don't feel any obligation to torture myself because of it.