The "Does she like me" thread

[DoctorObviously]

Before I begin, I may warn you guys that this may result in a TL;DR for you. So please, if you don't have meaningful things to say, please don't answer at all. No offense intended. Also, I'm not an American, so my text may not be written very well.

The problem probably lies with me, as an Aspergers I wouldn't know how to strike up a conversation to a nice lady as well as acting cool 'n smooth (channeling Aladdin). So there. Ever since the past winter I've met a really nice girl in class amidst *** and *** that I honestly can't see functioning normally in real life. But I digress.

Now, I've known said lady for quite some time but in the many years she and me (probably terrible grammar) have never really taken the time to really talk to each other, or hell, even say hello (godommot fronk).

But recently (as in, a couple of months ago) she regulary takes the time talking to me, about... well, lots of stuff. I mean, it hasn't gotten to the subject most of you are thinking of right now, but we actually talk so long to each other that the both of us forget our work and get a complaint for it from our teacher. But the next week, the exact same thing happens and has been going on for several months now.

She also genuinly seems interested in what I have to say, being annoyed at her friends from sometimes drawing her attention away from me. As long as my nerdiness is kept to a minium, I'm fine and we strike up yet another conversation. It's not that I can't be nerdy, but, one thing at a time, right?

She has been the number 1 when it comes to points in class. But ever since the last year, the work has grown drastically and much more difficult, and she's lowering towards my level (haha very funny), which is frustrating for her. The thing is that I've never failed in that: I've never gotten higher or lower than 65% on my final scores, every single year. But again, I digress.

It actually doesn't stop with words either, several winks and smiles have been given out to each other, especially when I'm dressed up for the exams, and when being with friends never manages to look directly at me before quickly looking away. I'm not looking at her like Lord Inglip's servant, at least I don't think I am. She won't quickly ask me something and then go run back to her desk, she will find the time to find a seat, drag it to my desk, put it right next to mine and discuss how a certain problem will be handled.

What about the girl herself? She's beautiful. Very much so. She doesn't whine every five seconds about her looks, she's sweet and kind. And as stated before, she's smart.

So you guys must be thinking: "Great!", right? Well, from what I understand from a couple of sources she has a boyfriend for quite a couple of years so this could all be a giant troll/friendzone Fiona for all I know.

I would like to know what you guys think of this situation so that I can come to a conclusion on what I should do or don't do. As much as I've been a Forever Alone, I've never complained about it, I like my freedom to do what I want. I don't mind having a girlfriend as long as she respects what I like, which is perfectly normal if you ask me.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

The problem probably lies with me, as an Aspergers

Really? Is this an actual diagnosis, or are you just throwing the word around because you're a little socially inept? You seem well spoken and fairly well versed in the politics of human interaction. I was under the impression that severe Aspergers makes that more or less impossible. Like, the other person may as well actually come from Mars for all that you understand what they're thinking or feeling.

Ever since the past winter I've met a really nice girl in class amidst douches and bitches that I honestly can't see functioning normally in real life. But I digress.

Not the greatest attitude. I see this a lot with self-proclaimed nerds and social outcasts, this seething hostility. It's not as charming or interesting as it feels while you're doing it. Yes, there's a lot of unpleasant people in the world, but when you talk/think like this, you become one of them.

So you guys must be thinking: "Great!", right? Well, from what I understand from a couple of sources she has a boyfriend for quite a couple of years so this could all be a giant troll/friendzone Fiona for all I know.

I would like to know what you guys think of this situation so that I can come to a conclusion on what I should do or don't do. As much as I've been a Forever Alone, I've never complained about it, I like my freedom to do what I want. I don't mind having a girlfriend as long as she respects what I like, which is perfectly normal if you ask me.

Well, it sounds like she has a boyfriend. The best way to find out if she does or does not have a boyfriend is to ask her. There are ways to do it without it sounding like an obvious scoping out. She'll know what you're doing anyway, but if you're moderately subtle about it you can both save face by pretending that's not what you were doing, and the friendship can continue, provided you're cool with it being a friendship, and you're not just orbiting around waiting for her to become available.

If she DOESN'T have a boyfriend, well, then, the table is set, isn't it? Ask her out. The longer you wait, the lower your odds get.

So, TLDR version:

1. Find some casual way to determine once and for all whether she does or does not have a boyfriend.
2. If she does have a boyfriend, respect that. Either stay friends with her (and be a friend, not a smitten secret suitor), or go on your way if you find that impossible.
3. If she doesn't have a boyfriend, ask her on a date immediately. Ask her to go out for dinner or a movie or a concert or something reasonably date-like.
4. Stop calling people "douches and bitches", even if they are. It makes you sound like a bitter little kid. Be the bigger man.

 

[DoctorObviously]

So, TLDR version:

1. Find some casual way to determine once and for all whether she does or does not have a boyfriend.
2. If she does have a boyfriend, respect that. Either stay friends with her (and be a friend, not a smitten secret suitor), or go on your way if you find that impossible.
3. If she doesn't have a boyfriend, ask her on a date immediately. Ask her to go out for dinner or a movie or a concert or something reasonably date-like.
4. Stop calling people "*** and ***", even if they are. It makes you sound like a bitter little kid. Be the bigger man.

Thank you for your reply. As good as you might think I am with words, I can assure you that I have been diagnosed with Aspergers, making any kind of conversations very hard. Believe what you want. But again, thanks.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Thank you for your reply. As good as you might think I am with words, I can assure you that I have been diagnosed with Aspergers, making any kind of conversations very hard. Believe what you want. But again, thanks.

It's cute that you quoted yourself.

Hey, if you are, you are, and I'm sorry to hear that. I wasn't DOUBTING you so much as just asking whether or not it was an actual diagnosis. I'm sure you're aware a LOT of people self-diagnose as "Aspergers", and 90% of them are just sullen and/or awkward. Aspergers is actually a fairly serious problem, so you don't like to see people co-opt it without really understanding what they're saying.

Good luck with your girl troubles!

 

[Antari]

Aspergers or not the information you seek requires action on your part. Do or Do not, there is no try. The worst thing that can happen is she says no and you both go about your life. In 50 years you'll be lucky if you remember it.

 

[Ordinaryundone]

Just ask her out. Straight to her face. Worse thing that could happen is that she says no, and you go your separate ways. At this point, if you are being friendzoned then its your own fault for not acting sooner.

I'll also give you the same advice I give everyone else. If you have to ask (if she likes you), then the answer is probably no.