The Dumbest/Most Embarrassing Thing You've Ever Done

[happyninja42]

So, I've done some dumb shit in my life, what about you? Yeah? Cool, what stupid stuff did you do? Those events that no matter how many years have passed since you did it, you still cringe to the core of your being and go "Fuck! I can't believe I did that!!"

Mine:

It was the lat 90's, I was at one of the Lollapalooza festivals (I forget which one), and was quite dosed on acid, having a very fun time. Then, I needed to pee. So, I go into the men's room, and find every urinal/stall taken. And man I really needed to pee!! And hey, there are these new fangled urinals in the center of the room! Weird design, but ok, whatever, I gotta go! So I go up to what turned out to be the circular hand washing stations (which I had never seen this design before) with a constant running water flow.

So I'm standing there for a minute, you know, doing my thing, when a guy turns around after finishing at a urinal, to wash his hands, to find me standing there, exposed. We lock gazes, and just from his facial expression, I realize what was wrong about my assumption of the design of this public restroom. I finished up quickly and just walked out before I had to actually try and explain anything. Not sure how coherent my answer would've been anyway, given the acid. xD

So what completely dumb/stupid yet amusing (hopefully) thing have you done?

 

[CrazyGirl17]

I stapled my own thumb once. I was trying to open it or something, and stupidly thought I could close it from the bottom... Yeah, pretty stupid.

 

[JoJo]

There was that time I picked up a soldering iron from the wrong end... ouch D-:

Though in my defence I was only about ten at the time.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Dumb- I went diving into the deepend in a swimming pool when I was in my pre teen. I'm pretty sure in one of my alternative universe, one of me died from that day.

Embrassing- I try to be funny during history class when the teacher has a photo with E.T. from Universe Studio. I made a comment "I thought he went home". Boy did my "friends" back then did NOT let it go. I'm so glad I no longer keep in touch with them.

 

[WhiteFangofWhoa]

The Guinness books of World Records are something of a hobby of mine. At age 14, I was reading some of them and upon seeing a record for the first convict to ever become a president, vehemently declared it to be a disgrace without knowing anything about the context.

That record holder? Nelson Mandela.

On a similar tack, honourable mention to talking about Michael Jackson without knowing about the recent revelations about 'Neverland Ranch' or anything associated with it. I just listened to the music.

What did I learn? Don't open your yap about a topic you don't have much information on.

 

[Quazimofo]

Tried to pick up a metal pot's lid while it was on the stove. Thankfully it was only 1st degree burns and they faded rather quickly.

I was trying to cut a candle so that the light would show for a jack-o-lantern (they were those big decorative table candles, so it had melted pretty far down the middle by this point. After cutting down the sides, I decided to push the knife under the bottom bit ("completing the U" as it were) in the direction of my stabilizing hand. As you can imagine, when I got through the wax the knife didn't stop until it hit bone. Thankfully it didn't sever anything important, so I still have full motor control over my left hand. Now I just have a small scar to remind myself not to be a dumbass with sharp objects.

Captcha: Problem Solver.
... Well, I did get the candle properly prepared to be used in a jack-o-lantern, so it's not entirely wrong.

 

[Akytalusia]

dumbest: my friend feared he would electrocute himself with the arc welder we were using. in order to 'prove' him wrong, i grabbed the clip and the table. i was wrong. it was hilarious though.

 

[FPLOON]

I once walked out of shower naked, looked at my mom's boyfriend, and said, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!" while carrying my clothes in my towel like a sack full of toys... This happened in March of 2006 and this was the second time this dude has seen me naked... The first time was when I caught looking at myself naked in the mirror at 2 in the morning and my mom brushed it off by saying that I was there to "say hello to him for the first time"...

Other than that, I'm having a hard time thinking of things that embarrassed me, per se... I mean, I've embarrassed others, but I digress...

 

[Elfgore]

Dumbest: I stabled my finger in second grade. I really can't recall how it happened, just it wasn't my proudest moment.

Embarrassing: I ate two foods that didn't mix before going into school freshmen year. After feeling like I was on fire in the middle of winter for twenty minutes, finally I vomited three times all over the floor in front of the entire high school. After I went home I heard a kid slipped in it... twice. Luckily, no nickname every came of it.

 

[Something Amyss]

There was that time I picked up a soldering iron from the wrong end... ouch D-:

Though in my defence I was only about ten at the time.

I dropped a soldering iron once, and reflexes moved faster than brain, so....

As dumb goes in my life, this is pretty up there.

 

[Fox12]

I drove in front of an oncoming train once, with the cross guards coming down. It missed me by moments. I could see it passing by in my rear view mirror. Couldn't tell you why I did it, all I can say is that my passengers wouldn't stop screaming.

 

[Christemo]

When I was like 4 or 5 I jumped down on the train tracks and climbed up onto the adjacent platform... about 30 seconds before a train came.

As for embarrassing, I think I ripped a fart in class once that was so bad that some students complaining actually got us to move outside. Fairly sure they at least didn't know it was me.

 

[happyninja42]

Embrassing- I try to be funny during history class when the teacher has a photo with E.T. from Universe Studio. I made a comment "I thought he went home". Boy did my "friends" back then did NOT let it go. I'm so glad I no logner keep in touch with them.

I defend your childhood sense of humor and declare that to be a very GOOD joke, given the context. Your friends just had no taste in good humor. xD

Embarrassing

Well there's 3 that manage to be quite equal.

I asked a girl if she'd like to meet up outside of school like a date (This ways many many years ago). Doesn't sound too embarrassing right. Well the story carries on as she didn't take it too well (Unknown to me she had a thing for a friend of mine). For some unknown reason after me asking she got up and practically ran out of the room... Doesn't seem embarrassing right well it carries on. You see some of her friends dashed out to see if she was ok so about half the table I was sitting at emptied leaving me sitting there. It gets worse you see 10 minutes later I decided to go use the restroom. I go there and there she is surrounded by friends and I say hi........ she bursts into tears and her friends shoo me away. on the way back from the restroom I look over and catch her eye and she bursts into tears again and one of her friends grabs me and rushes me back into the common room. To this day I have no idea what the fuck went on.

At a society christmas party I got a little tipsy on some very nice Cider. The night ended with me with a tie around my head playing air guitar on my knees. I know photos exist of it and still to this day dread they will emerge one day.

I got asked out on a date, via Tinder (Yes that Tinder) by a fairly local girl. The plan was we'd meet up in town, have a few drinks and talk for a bit. She said to give her a bit of time from when we were meant to meet up incase her train was late. I was meant to meet her at 1pm I waited in the rain and fucking snow for 3 hours. At one point during the 3 hours I thought she'd shown up so I asked the girl if it was in fact her. It wasn't she was waiting for her boyfriend. and they left together after about an hour. But near the end of 3 hours they walked past again to see me still sitting there still hoping my date would show up. I gave up and left. I checked Tinder and she'd removed me from the matched list.

In school in a single lesson I broke 2 hockey sticks and a hockey ball. Worst of all the 2nd stick was from the brand new supplies that had never been used. First hit with it and I broke the head clean off it.

Dumbest

Broke my ankle playing badminton.

Managed to throw a shotput such that it somehow ended up burying itself 2 foot down in the sand pit we were throwing them into.

This entire post is especially amusing to me, as I picture this all being done by Vyvyan. Which just makes me giggle down at the core of my non-existent soul. xD

capcha: the extra mile. well it does seem you went the extra mile for that Tinder date.

 

[Seraj33]

Is it a dick move if I tell you about an embarrassing thing that happened to a friend with me involved?
Eitherway, our little group of highschool buds were standing around our lockers laughing and being studid, having a jolly good time. I was eating M&Ms and while trying to toss one into my mouth at the same time as I was laughing it went in, swooshed around in my saliva for a bit and then came right out and landed on the floor.
One of my friends, obviously starved for a bit of sugar, went "Five second rule!" and picked it up and ate it, believing I had dropped it from the bag. This resulted in me and everyone else (who had seen that it had been in my mouth) laughing our asses off telling him, "He had that in his mouth just now!". He promptly spat it out in a flurry of chocolate, nut and saliva. Only adding to our laughter.
We never really let him forget that incident.
We were never mean about it though. It was one of thoose "we have all messed up at some point" friendships.

As for dumb, well I regularly do a lot of dumb things, big and small.
One time at work though, I was working on cutting some metal hooks from the inside of an industrial furnace with an angle grinder. I had to move around some very wierd angles and managed to cut myself on my ringfinger. The cut was so instant I didn't even notice it untill my workmate asked me "Dude are you alright? Is it bleeding?". Then I noticed, "Hey... there is a hole in my glove and hey, thats my ringfinger and it is way redder than it should be".
Getting a little shocked I dropped the anglegrinder right on the furnace floor making it kick up a stupidly thick cloud of dust only worsening the situation. Luckily my work mate managed to turn of the grinder before it cut something else.
The wound wasn't too bad and it didn't bleed as much as I first thought but it did leave a gnarly looking scar. I haven't been alowed near the anglegrinder since. (Which honestly, hurt more than the cut itself)

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

Went to open a cupboard door and summarily smacked myself in the head with it. Ended up breaking the top hinge in the process. Tried to close the thing to see how broken it was, and the other hinge broke and fell on my right foot.

Explaining this to the parents when they got home from grocery shopping was...well...entertaining to say the least. >.>'

 

[happyninja42]

Went to open a cupboard door and summarily smacked myself in the head with it. Ended up breaking the top hinge in the process. Tried to close the thing to see how broken it was, and the other hinge broke and fell on my right foot.

Explaining this to the parents when they got home from grocery shopping was...well...entertaining to say the least. >.>'

Hah! That reminds me of another embarrassing moment I had as a...I guess 13ish year old? I was still in middle school. At a friends birthday party, and she asked me to dance with her. Now, I was incredibly tall for my age at the time, and I had big feet, and I wasn't a dancer. So I did the classic "step on her foot, and then we both look down, and smack foreheads" cliche. It really happened. I was laughing so hard from the sheer comedy of the entire scene, and how sitcom-y it was, that I fell onto her pool table in a fit of giggles. We didn't dance again. xD

 

[busterkeatonrules]

I was a trainee projectionist back in the pre-digital days, when movies were great reels of film that had to be fed through the projector by means of an intricate system of spools and cogwheels that looked straight out of a mad steampunk inventor's handbook.

Kinda awesome, but getting a movie ready was a lot of work, and it did occasionally get a bit tedious. One step which I found especially tiresome was the process of splicing the film together. Yeah, a typical feature would arrive in the form of a stupidly heavy package containing anything from five to eight reels of film, which would need to be spliced together into a single massive reel and sent through the projector in one continuous piece. (And of course, once the movie was taken off the bill, it would need to be taken apart again and repackaged. Yay!)

Well, one night, my boss tasked me with getting a newly arrived movie ready for its premiere the following day. This was my last task that evening, so I quickly and carelessly did the job and went home. The next day, my boss called me and angrily informed me that he'd had to refund some 150 tickets because the latter half of the movie had been shown upside-down and backwards. An easy mistake to make when splicing a movie, but just as easy to avoid by simply paying attention to what you are doing. I had no excuse, and agreed unconditionally to the boss' order that I should show up at the crack of noon the next day (projectionists are nocturnal workers by nature) and get that damn movie spliced right.

The next day, I was just getting the big reel of film ready for re-splicing when the boss showed up. We struck up a conversation, which may have distracted me. I was able to get the big reel onto the main plate, hooked one end onto the smaller winding table, set the whole mess in motion - and realized that I had forgotten to properly attach the reel to the plate.

Yeah. The whole thing got flung at the wall like a gigantic frisbee, promptly dissolving into a massive, shapeless tangle and slithering to the floor. Incidentally, a feature-length movie in this format typically consists of at least six to eight thousand feet of film. One look at that mess, and we both knew what we were gonna do that day.

Long story short, it took us six and a half hours to get that movie running again - we were done less than fifteen minutes before the show was scheduled to begin. I actually didn't have time to check the damn thing properly (which I had repeatedly sworn, both to the boss and myself, that I would always, always do from that day onwards), but fortunately I already knew what was wrong with it at that point, and the whole thing played without incident.

That was it. The two greatest f**k-ups of my career, and they took place within two days of each other and with the same movie!

For bonus embarrassment points: The movie in question was Sasha Baron Cohen's Bruno.