The end of my tether. (Possibly depressing)
- Thread starter KaiRai
- Start date
See a therapist, if you have cancer you see an oncologist, if you have prostate problems you call a proctologist. And you are obviously depressed and you should see a professional.KaiRai said:
I think I know where you are coming from. I have gotten to that point before where I didn't want to move or function, where every second of every day I either felt angry or full of despair, and because of this my family made me go to therapy. The therapy didn't help because I'm a very private person so I didn't want to talk to them and people can't help you if you don't open up. Therefore, in order to cope I use other methods. I try to create a stress free environment for myself, hang out with friends, listen to music, play an old favorite video-game, go for a run, or just go outside, sit and listen to nothing and everything. It's hard when you get caught up in one awful moment of time in your life and you think you will feel like that forever. You just need to take a deep breath, clear your head, and put it all into perspective.
Shit happens to all of us. We just have to man up and deal with it.
Also, you don't like the tought of sharing your feelings with a psychologist (who may actually help you), but are okay with sharing those exact same feelings with strangers across the internet (who may occasionally give tiny bits of advice). Oh, the irony.
PS: I everything else fails, do drugs.
PPS: Don't do drugs.
Also, you don't like the tought of sharing your feelings with a psychologist (who may actually help you), but are okay with sharing those exact same feelings with strangers across the internet (who may occasionally give tiny bits of advice). Oh, the irony.
PS: I everything else fails, do drugs.
PPS: Don't do drugs.
I am in somewhat of the same situation. Just remember that there is always a tomorrow. And, if all else fails, you can just be a bum. That is always an option.
Take a deep breath, focus on the things that are going right in your life (no matter how small), and take things one step at a time.
Also, lay off the drink. Seriously, that never helps, no matter how much it might seem like it does in the short term. All it does is cloud your judgement and make you do silly things that you'll regret and will make you feel worse.
Good luck =)
Also, lay off the drink. Seriously, that never helps, no matter how much it might seem like it does in the short term. All it does is cloud your judgement and make you do silly things that you'll regret and will make you feel worse.
Good luck =)
I'm an atheist and pessimist. What does that have to do with your problems? Well, I just want to share my viewpoint. I guess it may help.
There's no "supernatural being" that will help me pull out of any difficult situation. I'm always "on my own". No "voice from the heavens", no nothing. That makes me stubborn when I meet hardships: heck, if I don't try and try to overcome them, I never will. So I try. And I manage. Always.
Keep this in mind in conjuction with another atheist-pessimist... combo breaker: there's no "happy afterlife". When you die, you're nothing. You're gone. So, if you ever think of suicide, it won't be "an easy way out" or "a way to go to someplace better", but the end of whatever you have here. That includes the good stuff. What "good stuff", you may ask, since you're in the dumps right now? Well, get out and look around you!
Sun. Air. Food. Sleep. The simple things in life, that noone can take away. Other people, either they like you or not - life is interesting, at least, and worth living. Problems come and go. You stay. You are the epicenter of your own microworld, and there -must- be some things you like and wouldn't want to lose, some things that keep you going. So what if your girlfriend dumped you? Aren't there other people out there? Do you know for sure that you'll never meet someone even better for you? So what if you don't have a job right now? I have, but every single day they're telling us "we're finished, in 1-2 months time, we're all out". That in itself has made all of us want to freakin' stop working, even if that will mean "we won't have a job". It's like watching a bad porn, where a hairy midget shouts for 20 minutes "I'm coming, I'm coming"... Yeah, life's like that.
Part of what you feel comes from the "conditioning" we've lived through in our lives: we grow up learning that "consuming is good", "humping a beautiful blonde woman with big boobs for the rest of our lives is good", "earning more - and paying more is good"... Life's not capitalism or a porn movie. Life's sitting on the grass with some friends and talking 'till the morning, life's watching your favorite movie for the umpteenth time and finding something new in it, life's being with your relatives, who unconditionally love you - even if you don't really "get it" until it's too late and you realize what you lost.
Got it?
Now, get away from the bottle - it only makes things worse. Start looking for a job -ANY job- and going out with any available mates. Talk to your parents and ask help - for everything: have them keep an eye out for any job offerings, ask them to understand your position and let you live a bit more with them.
There's no "supernatural being" that will help me pull out of any difficult situation. I'm always "on my own". No "voice from the heavens", no nothing. That makes me stubborn when I meet hardships: heck, if I don't try and try to overcome them, I never will. So I try. And I manage. Always.
Keep this in mind in conjuction with another atheist-pessimist... combo breaker: there's no "happy afterlife". When you die, you're nothing. You're gone. So, if you ever think of suicide, it won't be "an easy way out" or "a way to go to someplace better", but the end of whatever you have here. That includes the good stuff. What "good stuff", you may ask, since you're in the dumps right now? Well, get out and look around you!
Sun. Air. Food. Sleep. The simple things in life, that noone can take away. Other people, either they like you or not - life is interesting, at least, and worth living. Problems come and go. You stay. You are the epicenter of your own microworld, and there -must- be some things you like and wouldn't want to lose, some things that keep you going. So what if your girlfriend dumped you? Aren't there other people out there? Do you know for sure that you'll never meet someone even better for you? So what if you don't have a job right now? I have, but every single day they're telling us "we're finished, in 1-2 months time, we're all out". That in itself has made all of us want to freakin' stop working, even if that will mean "we won't have a job". It's like watching a bad porn, where a hairy midget shouts for 20 minutes "I'm coming, I'm coming"... Yeah, life's like that.
Part of what you feel comes from the "conditioning" we've lived through in our lives: we grow up learning that "consuming is good", "humping a beautiful blonde woman with big boobs for the rest of our lives is good", "earning more - and paying more is good"... Life's not capitalism or a porn movie. Life's sitting on the grass with some friends and talking 'till the morning, life's watching your favorite movie for the umpteenth time and finding something new in it, life's being with your relatives, who unconditionally love you - even if you don't really "get it" until it's too late and you realize what you lost.
Got it?
Now, get away from the bottle - it only makes things worse. Start looking for a job -ANY job- and going out with any available mates. Talk to your parents and ask help - for everything: have them keep an eye out for any job offerings, ask them to understand your position and let you live a bit more with them.
Take it one problem at a time. Right now what is your biggest concern. Deal with that first then move onto the next problem. If you try to tackle it all at once you won't be able to cope. Don't turn to alcohol. Everyone who does just ends up feeling worse. I understand how you're feeling and trust me, once one thing starts going right everything else will too.
I've been in your situation before, and unfortunately my only response was to get wasted in my room every night for about 3 months before I finally decided enough was enough. Horrible period of time in my life tbh, the amount of stupid things I did when wasted just makes me feel ashamed of myself.
There's no quick fix for this unfortunately. You just need to find another job, which is FAR easier than it sounds. I've been looking for the past 4 months and not found ANYTHING I can do. The short term solution is to go to the Job centre and sign on for job seekers allowance. It's not amazing, but it'll give you a bit of money and they'll support you in finding a job.
Talk to your parents, explain how bad you're feeling, and see if you can get them to stop threatening to kick you out, as that on top of everything else you're going through right now is only going to add to the stress and the worry. Any thing you can do, no matter how small, to relieve some of the stress right now is going to make a big difference.
As for the girlfriend? Well, there's no cookie cutter thing to do to help you there. I've lost the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, but I can tell you honestly right now with no bullshit that it WILL get easier to deal with. Time heals all isn't just some bullshit someone said one day, it really does. The pain will go away in time. Whilst you won't heal 100%, and you probably will still feel upset every now and then (Hell, a year later I still get pangs of pain and horrible nightmares that make me wake up in bad moods) it'll get far easier to deal with. You'll find those memories you have of her aren't as heartbreaking as they were, and that new boyfriend she has? Well chances are he'll break up with her and she'll cry a little. And that'll make you happy. Also, you could totally kick his ass.
Curiosity may make you want to contact her, check her Facebook and crap like that. I totally advise against doing any of those things. Every time you find out things about her, you're going to open the wounds even more. Put your head down, ignore her, and wait for the day you wake up saying 'I don't care about her anymore!' or something similar. As I said, you probably won't stop caring, but you'll deal with it easier. You know what I mean.
Anyway, to wrap up this rambling post just keep your chin up and get through it. Things will get better eventually, you just have to trust me on that one.
There's no quick fix for this unfortunately. You just need to find another job, which is FAR easier than it sounds. I've been looking for the past 4 months and not found ANYTHING I can do. The short term solution is to go to the Job centre and sign on for job seekers allowance. It's not amazing, but it'll give you a bit of money and they'll support you in finding a job.
Talk to your parents, explain how bad you're feeling, and see if you can get them to stop threatening to kick you out, as that on top of everything else you're going through right now is only going to add to the stress and the worry. Any thing you can do, no matter how small, to relieve some of the stress right now is going to make a big difference.
As for the girlfriend? Well, there's no cookie cutter thing to do to help you there. I've lost the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, but I can tell you honestly right now with no bullshit that it WILL get easier to deal with. Time heals all isn't just some bullshit someone said one day, it really does. The pain will go away in time. Whilst you won't heal 100%, and you probably will still feel upset every now and then (Hell, a year later I still get pangs of pain and horrible nightmares that make me wake up in bad moods) it'll get far easier to deal with. You'll find those memories you have of her aren't as heartbreaking as they were, and that new boyfriend she has? Well chances are he'll break up with her and she'll cry a little. And that'll make you happy. Also, you could totally kick his ass.
Curiosity may make you want to contact her, check her Facebook and crap like that. I totally advise against doing any of those things. Every time you find out things about her, you're going to open the wounds even more. Put your head down, ignore her, and wait for the day you wake up saying 'I don't care about her anymore!' or something similar. As I said, you probably won't stop caring, but you'll deal with it easier. You know what I mean.
Anyway, to wrap up this rambling post just keep your chin up and get through it. Things will get better eventually, you just have to trust me on that one.
Consider this: If you get through this time of your life alive, you'll have leanred a hell of a lot more than most people and can kick ass later.
Or imagine this: Your a siamese twin. Your brother attached to your shoulder is homosexual and your not. He haqs a date coming over tonight. The only body part you share is the rear end.
God speed.
Or imagine this: Your a siamese twin. Your brother attached to your shoulder is homosexual and your not. He haqs a date coming over tonight. The only body part you share is the rear end.
God speed.
It's not really that. It's more he's going to ask me how I feel and all the other shrink stuff. I'd be comfortable telling him all this, but he'd obviously want to know more, which is out of my comfort zone.xMelior said:
OT: thanks for all the help guys. I've picked up some good tips and I think I'm going to tackle my problems head on. Sincerely, thanks guys.