The Escapist Advice Thread

[scorptatious]

Up your arse.

Dear Escapist, how do I control my sarcasm?

 

[thesilentman]

Be more sarcastic.

Dear Escapist, how do I sleep in peace tonight?

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Watch this :D

Dear Escapist, how do I gain happiness?

 

[Dr.Susse]

By drinking the tears of orphans.

Dear escapist how do I become un-banned?

[small]User was banned for: Why Sony is this generations black plague [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/520.401227]. (Permanent)[/small]

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

CODE RED! WE HAVE BANNED PERSON WHO CAN STILL POST! DON'T LET IT TOUCH YOU! EVERYMAN FOR HIMSELF! THE TWO GIRLS ON THIS SITE FIRST! D:

Dear the Escapist, how can I prevent myself from being banned

 

[MrCollins]

Every time you get a warming, go in the mod chat and tell them that they are little bitches and if they ban you, you will hurt them. The mods are cowards, they would never dare ban you.

Dear Escapist, what shenanigans can I partake in?

 

[PsychicTaco115]

Well, you just missed the recent Pub Club shenanigans. Sorry >.>

Dear Escapist, how should I waste use my free time?

 

[thesilentman]

Mess around nicely.

Dear Escapist, how do I reduce negativity here?

 

[MrCollins]

Well, you just missed the recent Pub Club shenanigans. Sorry >.>

Dear Escapist, how should I waste use my free time?

I did not miss out, I want more

OT: Drink a lot of water, the polarity of which is bound to make you positive.

Dear Escapist how can I be more Meta?

 

[Exius Xavarus]

Donning a mask, grabbing a golden sword and calling yourself a knight.

Dear Escapist, how can I be more fashionable?

 

[thesilentman]

Follow those fangled teenagers, they have good fashion.

<------------ [/irony]

Dear Escapist, what is a good way to beat a video game boss?

 

[Dr.Susse]

By burning the cd in the hottest fire you can find.

Dear Escapist, I think my laptop is on the way out what should I do?

 

[thesilentman]

Cremate it.

Dear Escapist, there's someone in my head and it's not me. What should I do?

 

[username sucks]

Invite them to stay as long as they want, and let them know that they are welcome to use your body.

Dear Escapist, I have a recurring nightmare. What do I do?

 

[The Night Angel]

Never go to sleep... or find something even scarier to dream of instead, then you'll have a new one....

Dear escapist, I find it difficult to pay attention in lectures, what should I do??

 

[MrCollins]

Leave Uni/College, besides, College Drop-outs get all the ladies.

Dear Escapist, my hair is too long but I'm too lazy to get it cut. What should I do?

 

[scorptatious]

Become a hippy.

Dear Escapist, I think I see someone with a knife slowly walking towards me. What should I do?

 

[The Night Angel]

Give them a hug.... very quickly and suddenly!!

Dear escapist, I've just been stabbed in a hug gone wrong, what should I do??

 

[MrCollins]

Consider yourself lucky, you got a hug, that's a sure display of affection.
Don't throw that back at their face and reject them, that's both rude and callous. Just embrace it without complaint.

Dear Escapist, I am unsure of who to live with next year. What is a good hazing process?

 

[Dr.Susse]

Well bursting into a person's room at two in the morning yelling something about zombies is a good way to get to know someone.

Dear Escapist how can I deal with the week that is about to happen?