SonofSeth said:
What a load of toss!! CGI and fight choreography were great, but the other 2 hours and 20 minutes was a major snore fest. Don't get me started on the sex.
OK OK, not completely boring, Rorschach narrating was great and Comedian was one majestic prick, but as movies go, this just can't do.
P.S.
Didn't read the book, but watching the movie did make me want to.
I couldn't agree more. This movie sucked. MovieBob, I'm sorry to say this, but %&!* you, fanboy. This movie was terrible. It can be summed up in 3 simple phrases:
1) Plot holes abound.
2) Super powers on super heroes, please?
3) OOOOOH! SHINY!
Listen, the CGI was great. The special effects were amazing. Really. For your average movie goer, this is an enjoyable film, because it's so visually appealing. Forget the fact you just paid 16 bucks to sit in an overcrowded theather which is 80% people who didn't even know it was a graphic novel, and 3/4 of the remaining that maybe heard that it was but certainly hadn't read it, the bottom line is that it was special effects masterpiece.
That being said, the story was NOT as deep and rich as Shawshank, or as drawing in and funny as Lebowski. You didn't get any real great writing from this movie, like you did with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
This was a terrible story from every point of view. All the time that they spent developing characters was time wasted the minute you realized there was one, and only one, relevant character in the entire movie: Dr. Manhattan. The minute you realize that he is literally a god walking among mortals, all of the plot conflicts are immediately resolved. At four distinct points in the movie, the story is on the brink of an abrupt ending, and the "God figure" steps in and puts this decayed, dying, Terri Schiavo-esque movie on life support for another thirty minutes.
And let's talk about why these "Watchmen" were superheroes at all. None of them, save the Blue Shiny God, were anything more than really in shape, tough, martial artists. By this same measure, Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, and Michael Phelps make as much sense as the rest of these jagoffs, and seeing fight scenes featuring these four would be far more interesting than seeing mediocre actors, if that, in fight scenes with superfluous amounts of slow motion that were so heavily and poorly choreographed they felt unnatural, sluggish, and overly forced.
The "plot twists" were completely irrelevant. Finding on the new Silk Spectre's father was the Comedian means nothing. Mothman finally getting laid by this chick completely out of his league means nothing. Rorschach's throaty dialogues about morality mean nothing. All because Dr. Manhattan, at any point in the movie, solves every problem humanity has in the blink of an eye, creating a utopian society. He does this before the plot line of this movie even starts if he has any sort of human connection, and if he has waning or non-existant human connection, he just leaves humans to their own devices instead of meddling in their affairs.
The plot of this movie was a walking abortion from beginning to end, and if you enjoyed anything but the spectacular use of special effects, you need to have your brain checked for serious hemorrhaging.
"Movie that CAN'T be made" and "movie that SHOULDN'T" be made are two very different things.
P.S. There was more male nudity in this turd smear of film than an issue of Playgirl. Please, please, please, grow brains and realize how terrible this movie was. "Modern classic" my ass.