(TL;DR below in bold, but I think you'll enjoy this)
Far out in the uncharted memory slots of the unfashionable end of the mythical motherboards of Bill Gates' Macbook lies a small, unregarded brown dust speck.
Tucked in next to it at a distance of roughly point ninety-eight million inches is an utterly insignificant little green memory stick whose origins are so amazingly mysterious that legend says it came straight from a 4chan admin's home computer
This memory stick has-or rather had-a problem, which was this: most of the information residing on it was completely useless. There was an entire gigabyte of memes, another two for unspeakable pictures, and a library of anime fanfics, (who knew that Bill Gates was into that stuff?) to name a few. The files sitting in that memory stick were mostly unused for pretty much most of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the deletion of the game files, which is odd because on the whole it wasn?t the game files that were unused.
And so the problem remained; lots of the files were useless, and most of them went untouched, even the one with the design for Windows Vista 2.0 (although it could be said that leaving Vista alone is understandable).
Bill Gates increasingly began to hold the opinion that he?d all made a big mistake downloading all this stuff in the first place. His wife even said that coaxing Half Life 3 from Gabe Newell had been a bad move, and that it should never have left Newell's personal vault.
And then, one Thursday, nearly two days after one file had been thrown into the Recycle Bin for placing a trojan onto the computer, a girl on her own laptop in a small cafè in Rickmansworth suddenly found a peculiar document under her Homework tab. She clicked on it and she discovered what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how Bill Gates could fix his computer once and for all! This time it was right, it would work, and no one would get a trojan or a worm or any sort of virus ever again!
Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell Gates about it, a terrible, stupid catastrophe occurred, and the document was lost forever.
This is not her story.
This is your story. Rather, this is your book. Your guide. Your chance to make a difference in the life of a complete and utter noob. Show them your knowledge of the internet and lead them not into flame wars, but into prosperity. In short, give any number of rules, guidelines, and personal experiences of your own as advice to a newcomer of the internet.
Far out in the uncharted memory slots of the unfashionable end of the mythical motherboards of Bill Gates' Macbook lies a small, unregarded brown dust speck.
Tucked in next to it at a distance of roughly point ninety-eight million inches is an utterly insignificant little green memory stick whose origins are so amazingly mysterious that legend says it came straight from a 4chan admin's home computer
This memory stick has-or rather had-a problem, which was this: most of the information residing on it was completely useless. There was an entire gigabyte of memes, another two for unspeakable pictures, and a library of anime fanfics, (who knew that Bill Gates was into that stuff?) to name a few. The files sitting in that memory stick were mostly unused for pretty much most of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the deletion of the game files, which is odd because on the whole it wasn?t the game files that were unused.
And so the problem remained; lots of the files were useless, and most of them went untouched, even the one with the design for Windows Vista 2.0 (although it could be said that leaving Vista alone is understandable).
Bill Gates increasingly began to hold the opinion that he?d all made a big mistake downloading all this stuff in the first place. His wife even said that coaxing Half Life 3 from Gabe Newell had been a bad move, and that it should never have left Newell's personal vault.
And then, one Thursday, nearly two days after one file had been thrown into the Recycle Bin for placing a trojan onto the computer, a girl on her own laptop in a small cafè in Rickmansworth suddenly found a peculiar document under her Homework tab. She clicked on it and she discovered what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how Bill Gates could fix his computer once and for all! This time it was right, it would work, and no one would get a trojan or a worm or any sort of virus ever again!
Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell Gates about it, a terrible, stupid catastrophe occurred, and the document was lost forever.
This is not her story.
This is your story. Rather, this is your book. Your guide. Your chance to make a difference in the life of a complete and utter noob. Show them your knowledge of the internet and lead them not into flame wars, but into prosperity. In short, give any number of rules, guidelines, and personal experiences of your own as advice to a newcomer of the internet.
