The Friend Zone

[bak00777]

Hello fellow escapists, lately i have seen several threads relating to Dating and even one about whether or not girls like the ones in certain romantic comedies are actually out there. Well i want to ask my fellow escapists about their experiences with the dreaded Friend Zone.

Im not sure if this is true for everyone, but in my experience the friend zone is very dangerous. If you ask out a girl and you aren't rly in the friend zone then it is awkward because she doesnt rly know you, but if you are too far in, then she cant see the two of you as anything more than friends. Does anyone out there agree?

 

[Radeonx]

Not really, because I've dated people that fall into both of your problematic categories. I've never really had too much trouble in the "Friend zone".

 

[Kevonovitch]

well, all my gf's started out as friends, so...not really? all i can really say is, be a friend, but keep it attractive? and eh, go for it?

 

[SgtMuffin]

Story of my life...

 

[SimuLord]

Who said the friend zone is just for girls to put guys in? I'm a dude and I've friend-zoned girls who were romantically interested in me. Unless your dating philosophy is "if it has tits and would say yes, fuck it", there's no law saying you have to date a girl who's not your type.

 

[Kevonovitch]

Who said the friend zone is just for girls to put guys in? I'm a dude and I've friend-zoned girls who were romantically interested in me.

dude, i do that all the time, i'm not the pickiest guy in the world, but seriously, some people it's just like "that's nice....sorry no...boardgames next week right?" XD

 

[klipton]

My best friend is a girl. She is with me like she is with any of her woman friends. And i wouldn´t wanted it to be in any other way

 

[the Dept of Science]

Girls tend to categorise guys, much in the same way that guys categorise girls. Like SimuLord, I've had plenty of girls who, even though I am dear friends with them, I wouldn't date them for the mere reason that I don't see them in a sexual context.

The best way I have found is that when you meet up with someone that you could be interested in, don't start off as friends, but as a potential date, so there are no awkward transitions.

Case in point: The other day, waiting in line for a club, this group comes along, 2 girls and about 5 guys. The guys are all being friends to the girls, even though they clearly want to sleep with them. I get talking to the guys because the girls are behind them, I show that I can be a confident social guy. When we are in the club, I go up to the girl I preferred, compliment on her hair, ran my fingers through it, then we danced together. But after talking for maybe 10 minutes (max), I get the number (... and name, ha). I get her friends number as well, because then it felt more natural (and a little competition never hurt anybody). Didn't even kiss!
Send her a few texts over the course of this week and got a date planned for Wednesday. Because their was no friend stage involved, there was no fear of rejection, no awkward changes to be had. Its worked out far smoother than any of my friends that I have fancied.

 

[Kurokami]

Hello fellow escapists, lately i have seen several threads relating to Dating and even one about whether or not girls like the ones in certain romantic comedies are actually out there. Well i want to ask my fellow escapists about their experiences with the dreaded Friend Zone.

Im not sure if this is true for everyone, but in my experience the friend zone is very dangerous. If you ask out a girl and you aren't rly in the friend zone then it is awkward because she doesnt rly know you, but if you are too far in, then she cant see the two of you as anything more than friends. Does anyone out there agree?

Yeah, I tend to miss my mark and jump into the Friend zone, then distance myself from it completely.

PS: Adventureland counted as a romantic comedy?

 

[BonsaiK]

Hello fellow escapists, lately i have seen several threads relating to Dating and even one about whether or not girls like the ones in certain romantic comedies are actually out there. Well i want to ask my fellow escapists about their experiences with the dreaded Friend Zone.

Im not sure if this is true for everyone, but in my experience the friend zone is very dangerous. If you ask out a girl and you aren't rly in the friend zone then it is awkward because she doesnt rly know you, but if you are too far in, then she cant see the two of you as anything more than friends. Does anyone out there agree?

I've never been in the Friend Zone because it doesn't exist.

Yes it's possible to be friends with someone but the idea of a "Friend Zone" that you're allocated to after a certain time period of knowing somebody is total fantasy, thought up by bored, lonely, misogynist keyboard jockeys who can't deal with the simple fact that men and women aren't really all that different when it comes to this particular point. They're looking for something to shift the blame for their failures on (because it couldn't possibly be that girls just don't like them much, oh gosh no) so they create this bullshit theory instead of acknowledging the harsh truth: that they never had a chance because she just didn't like them in the first place. Anything but take personal responsibility for their life and actions, hey.

 

[BENZOOKA]

C'mon. Relationships are never that simple. There isn't that kind of a friend zone where you can "accidentally" get into. Where you can't make a move because you're too close. If you're friends and it doesn't work, it's just because she doesn't feel like that about you.

 

[Jasper Jeffs]

Sounds like you're in the...

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[Instant K4rma]

Story of my life...

I agree 100% with this man.

 

[Paksenarrion]

[Mal has explained Wash's desire to have the captain and Zoe sleep together to resolve "burning sexual tension".]
Mal: I know it's a... [puts Zoe's hands on his hip and shoulder] difficult mission, but you and I... [places his hands likewise on her] have to get it on.
Zoe: I understand. We have no choice. [deadpan] Take me, sir. Take me hard.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Well, I do like having non guy friends. I don't want to feel like I'm pressuring them or anything like that. Yet if you just pick up a chick that looks hot, you have a chance of teh relationship just falling flat

 

[SixWingedAsura]

Story of my life...

Welcome to the club man.

The Friend Zone is one of the (many) reasons that I'm so damned cynical. I try to be a gentleman, I try to be a nice guy and it all comes out to naught. The quote: "Nice Guys Finish Last?"

Totally true. And if you say other wise, you are FULL of S**t.

 

[the Dept of Science]

Hello fellow escapists, lately i have seen several threads relating to Dating and even one about whether or not girls like the ones in certain romantic comedies are actually out there. Well i want to ask my fellow escapists about their experiences with the dreaded Friend Zone.

Im not sure if this is true for everyone, but in my experience the friend zone is very dangerous. If you ask out a girl and you aren't rly in the friend zone then it is awkward because she doesnt rly know you, but if you are too far in, then she cant see the two of you as anything more than friends. Does anyone out there agree?

I've never been in the Friend Zone because it doesn't exist.

Yes it's possible to be friends with someone but the idea of a "Friend Zone" that you're allocated to after a certain time period is total fantasy, thought up by bored, lonely, misogynist keyboard jockeys who can't deal with the simple fact that men and women aren't really all that different when it comes to this particular point. They're looking for something to shift the blame for their failures on (because it couldn't possibly be that girls just don't like them much, oh gosh no) so they create this bullshit theory. Anything but take personal responsibility for their life and actions.

Hmm... speaking to girls I know, the impression that I get is that if a guy has no overt sexuality around him, to become a sexual partner will require an awkward tonal shift at some point. While I think your point that the "friend zone" is generally an excuse is accurate, I have come to find that girls will often just see a guy in a completely non-sexual way, like you may see a relative.
The thing is if you want to have a girl attracted to you, you have to, simply enough, be attractive. The mistake that a lot of guys make is they think that becoming the chumpy "shoulder to cry on" guy or submissive yes-man is the way to go, which is why they often get categorised as friends and are thus unsuccessful. Instead, confidence and the ability to escale sexually early on are probably the two most important things required.

 

[Nwabudike Morgan]

Putting you in the friend zone is a lot of the time a polite way to say she doesn't find you sexually attractive. Sorry to say it, but it's true. I've had friendships stay friendships even when I've shown interest, since she just didn't dig me like that, and I've had friendships that have gotten physical, sometimes detrimentally to the friendship we had, since it got all weird from the point we hooked up on.

Also, nice guys don't finish last, but ones who are submissively nice do.

 

[Ace of Spades]

Been in it my entire life, and experience has taught me that trying to transcend it is impossible, or at the very least, not worth the effort necessary to achieve it. For those of you who've built relationships out of friendships, you're either luckier or just more attractive than I am.

 

[Woodsey]

You'll rarely get friendly enough with a girl to be near-inescapably stuck in the friend zone, and if it does go that far then chances are you don't want to fuck that hit that smack that tap that have sexy time with that anyway.

Story of my life...

Welcome to the club man.

The Friend Zone is one of the (many) reasons that I'm so damned cynical. I try to be a gentleman, I try to be a nice guy and it all comes out to naught. The quote: "Nice Guys Finish Last?"

Not true (and yes, I purposefully left out that last sentence of your comment). Most guys who say this are being licking arses and presenting themselves as pathetic/easy to walk all over. The others are just unlucky.