The Future of Star Wars

[happyninja42]

Oh my! I cannot believe for one second that has not been used for sexual deviancy, nor that the inventor hadn't at least considered the implications. Most importantly though, how well did it sell?

Considering there is a brand of sex toys called the...naughty dragon or something like that? That makes nothing but dildos shaped like various dragon tongues of different textures and shapes, yes I am certain somebody mounted Jar Jar's tongue for sexual gratification.

Which I frankly hope is the case, because then people can no longer say that Jar Jar contributed nothing good to the world. Multiple orgasms is a positive in the world, so good on ya' Jar Jar! Yousa gonna scream my name whiles I spanksya! Okieday!?

Fantastic, now I'm picturing a Dom Jar Jar, working a sex dungeon. That's going up there with my Dirty Harry Bounty Hunter Gun Gun character as fun concepts for Gun Gun's that probably drive everyone else rabidly mad.

 

[Eacaraxe]

I would prefer it if we just take our lumps at this point and continue on. The Sequel Trilogy had two good movies with the best setup possible and then the third blew it at the last possible second in every way it possibly could have when it could have been pure gold with hardly any effort. But, whatever, let's just accept it like the "they did something REALLY stupid" moments everything has (comic aficionados I think coined the term "Dork Age" in response to moments like Rise of Skywalker) and move on from here.

The ST should stand as a testament to Disney's utter failure in leadership and creative vision. People were seeing straight through Abram's shtick of "do the same thing but with flashier visual effects, and make the plot so fast-paced people can't think about it until they've left the theater" since the 2009 Star Trek reboot. He was the wrong person to pick to launch the sequel trilogy, and he was the wrong person to bring back for TRoS. Frankly at this point, anyone from Bad Robot or associated with them needs to be kept as far away from pop culture franchises as humanly possible in my opinion; they may pull in the odd blockbuster for short-term gain, but they're cancer to franchises.

I hated TLJ with an utter passion and still see it as the point the sequel trilogy became broken past the point of salvage, but I will give Johnson credit in at least bringing one or two decent ideas to the table. It's just a shame he dropped the plot points, or outright contradicted them past the point of viability, in the very same movie. If he was consistent and had the balls to actually subvert expectations and challenge the status quo, he would have ended it not as he did but with Kylo actually following through with his promise of creating something new, and fucked off the First Order fleet to start gunning for the galaxy's military-industrial complex based on the data brought to the First Order by the three stooges. That would leave Rey to pick up the pieces of the Resistance, and questioning herself and her faction's place in the galaxy certain to fall to the dark side.

 

[Breakdown]

Exactly. George Lucas was little more than a credit grabbing hack whose contributions to the Original Trilogy and thus the actual creation of Star Wars were minimal at best, and yet he's treated as the creator of Star Wars. You could count on 1 hand the number of actual contributions he had to anything in the Original Trilogy that weren't tossed out and replaced in the actual finished product. The Ewoks were probably the most significant contribution GL made and it was probably the only even slightly hated thing in the entirety of the Original Trilogy.

The Prequel Trilogy is what we get when George Lucas gets near absolute reign of Star Wars due to this undeserved fame and there's nobody around with the clout to say "NO! Bad Lucas! Bad idea!" like there was in the Original Trilogy.

See, I think the prequel trilogy could have been great, as long as somebody else had taken Lucas's ideas and refined them. The basic story arc and setting were sound. You just need somebody to act as a filter for all of the stupid shit, like Jar Jar Binks and midichlorians and so on.

The Phantom Menace could have been something like -

Naboo, an insignificant backwater planet gets attacked by mysterious space pirates led by Darth Maul. A teenage Anakin and the rest of his village are captured by the pirates and taken aboard the pirate's ship. He is freed by two Jedis who were on Naboo at the time, investigating a spate of attacks in this sector of space. Together they escape on a stolen ship, along with Padme, a teenage girl (no weird age gap) from his village. They are pursued across the galaxy as they try to reach Coruscant, culminating in a showdown on Tattooine where the heroes manage to send a signal to the Galactic fleet for aid. Qui Gon is mortally wounded in the struggle, and tells Obi Wan to train Anakin in the ways of the Force. The pirates are defeated, but it's revealed that they were the outriders of a much larger force which is secretly working for Palpatine, setting up the next movie.

 

[XsjadoBlayde]

Considering there is a brand of sex toys called the...naughty dragon or something like that? That makes nothing but dildos shaped like various dragon tongues of different textures and shapes, yes I am certain somebody mounted Jar Jar's tongue for sexual gratification.

Which I frankly hope is the case, because then people can no longer say that Jar Jar contributed nothing good to the world. Multiple orgasms is a positive in the world, so good on ya' Jar Jar! Yousa gonna scream my name whiles I spanksya! Okieday!?

Fantastic, now I'm picturing a Dom Jar Jar, working a sex dungeon. That's going up there with my Dirty Harry Bounty Hunter Gun Gun character as fun concepts for Gun Gun's that probably drive everyone else rabidly mad.

And yet that still seems one of the more innocent, wholesome side effects to come out of star wars, in comparison to the more toxic side of things
(Sorry, hadn't known about your reply till now due to a weird aversion to checking notifications these days)

 

[happyninja42]

And yet that still seems one of the more innocent, wholesome side effects to come out of star wars, in comparison to the more toxic side of things
(Sorry, hadn't known about your reply till now due to a weird aversion to checking notifications these days)

Yeah, if I had to choose between, "people self gratify with GunGun tongue dildos", or "scores of internet shitbags harass real world people for the actions of fictional characters, to the point of mental disorder, thoughts of suicide, and isolating themselves from human society due to potential harassment"....yeah I'll take the alien tongue fucking any day.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Eh, if it's intended as food, not as a sex toy, probably unhygienic. But, still tend to agree.

 

[happyninja42]

Eh, if it's intended as food, not as a sex toy, probably unhygienic. But, still tend to agree.

Again, I'd rather someone get a yeast infection than actual harassment of a real human being for the actions of a fictional character a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.

 

[happyninja42]

wholesome side effects to... come.... out of star wars