The "I Suck at [insert material-centric holiday]" Problem...

[Eggsnham]

It's that time of year again; the time of year where you spend all of your money on random things for close friends and family, and eat enough holiday food to feed an African country.

Those who celebrate Thanksgiving here in the States know this time of year better than most, I'd imagine.

Typically, I'd have saved a bit of cash for buying cheap gifts for my relatives (who thankfully don't say anything about the cheapness of their gifts, [insert deity] bless them), but between college, my joblessness and the overwhelming urge to spend money on useless things, I seem to be broke.

In a normal situation, I'd just resort to giving out hand-made things (which, again, nobody says anything about; I've got a great family), but considering I'm actually trying to do well in school for a change, I rarely have the time or desire to do that.

At the moment, I'm contemplating just making cookies for everybody (using my parents' kitchen and ingredients), and hoping that they're edible.

Is anybody else familiar with such predicaments? Also, does anybody have any suggestions; preferably helpful ones?

 

[White Lightning]

Why didn't you just say Christmas? Or is this about (American) Thanksgiving? I didn't realize you gave gifts on Thanksgiving.

 

[DugMachine]

I usually just buy foods I know my relatives like. I am also broke as hell and I'd rather buy them something that will get eaten than some cheap item that will sit on some shelf gathering dust.

 

[Dags90]

Why didn't you just say Christmas?

Maybe OP is Jewish? It could happen.

This is why I never started giving out presents. Once you start, people start expecting them.

 

[Stasisesque]

You give out presents at Thanksgiving?! I thought you just ate turkey and pumpkin pie and other foods more suited to Christmas and Halloween.

 

[Eggsnham]

Why didn't you just say Christmas? Or is this about (American) Thanksgiving? I didn't realize you gave gifts on Thanksgiving.

Because if one uses the term Christmas anymore, they'll inevitably be swarmed with angry replies about Hanukkah and any other Winter holiday one might celebrate.

That said, my family's never given gifts on Thanksgiving, but some of my friends do.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

Wintery? Way to ignore the Southern Hemisphere.

 

[Eggsnham]

Wintery? Way to ignore the Southern Hemisphere.

A season is still a season, Winter is no different.

 

[Loop Stricken]

Wintery? Way to ignore the Southern Hemisphere.

DO YOU SEE THIS, EGGSNHAM? DO YOU?!
In your effort to be inclusive and inoffensive, you have disenfranchised HALF THE WORLD!
Hang your head in shame!

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

Wintery? Way to ignore the Southern Hemisphere.

A season is still a season, Winter is no different.

You do realise that Christmas occurs during Summer in the Southern Hemisphere, right?

 

[Eggsnham]

Wintery? Way to ignore the Southern Hemisphere.

A season is still a season, Winter is no different.

You do realise that Christmas occurs during Summer in the Southern Hemisphere, right?

I forgot about that whole deal... I'm an idiot, apparently.

I s'pose a change of the title is in order.

 

[Agayek]

You do realise that Christmas occurs during Summer in the Southern Hemisphere, right?

What are these lies you spew? Everyone knows there's no such thing as a Southern Hemisphere. The world consists entirely of the US (and it's hat, hi Canada), Europe, the USSR , and some vague landmass that no one's ever been to supposedly called "Africa".

There is no Southern Hemisphere in that list!

PS - On a moderately serious note, that's honestly how something like 30% of Americans see the rest of the world, as sad as it is.

 

[Eggsnham]

You do realise that Christmas occurs during Summer in the Southern Hemisphere, right?

What are these lies you spew? Everyone knows there's no such thing as a Southern Hemisphere. The world consists entirely of the US (and it's hat, hi Canada), Europe, the USSR , and some vague landmass that no one's ever been to supposedly called "Africa".

There is no Southern Hemisphere in that list!

PS - On a moderately serious note, that's honestly how something like 30% of Americans see the rest of the world, as sad as it is.

As much as I'd like to try and argue that I'm not that stupid, I think I'll just accept this whole situation as it is and hang my head in shame

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

You do realise that Christmas occurs during Summer in the Southern Hemisphere, right?

What are these lies you spew? Everyone knows there's no such thing as a Southern Hemisphere. The world consists entirely of the US (and it's hat, hi Canada), Europe, the USSR , and some vague landmass that no one's ever been to supposedly called "Africa".

There is no Southern Hemisphere in that list!

PS - On a moderately serious note, that's honestly how something like 30% of Americans see the rest of the world, as sad as it is.

...

Then explain Hugh Jackman.

 

[Frezzato]

At the moment, I'm contemplating just making cookies for everybody (using my parents' kitchen and ingredients), and hoping that they're edible.

Is anybody else familiar with such predicaments? Also, does anybody have any suggestions; preferably helpful ones?

Stick with the cookies. Cookies are always good. A lot of cookies can't hurt. I would never make cookies as a gift since half would probably disappear as "test" subjects in the evil laboratory that is my stomach.

I suspect you're the type who doesn't tell anyone what they want for Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza/All Hail Cthulu Fortnight.

 

[Pinkamena]

I usually only get presents for my closest relatives. I don't have money for any more!

 

[Eggsnham]

I suspect you're the type who doesn't tell anyone what they want for Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza/All Hail Cthulu Fortnight.

Actually, yes. I usually just end up getting money or clothing for Christmas since most of my friends and family never know what the hell I'd like as a gift.

 

[Fractral]

I suspect you're the type who doesn't tell anyone what they want for All Hail Cthulu Fortnight.

What would you give someone for cthulu fortnight? A squid? Or perhaps painful death? I'm not familiar with the aspects of cthulu worship.

 

[Frezzato]

I suspect you're the type who doesn't tell anyone what they want for All Hail Cthulu Fortnight.

What would you give someone for cthulu fortnight? A squid? Or perhaps painful death? I'm not familiar with the aspects of cthulu worship.

I'm not 100% sure about this, but my best guess would be a dark, heavy, blood stain resistant robe that's also machine washable. You don't want a dry cleaner asking questions, otherwise it's yet another sacrifice to squeeze into the schedule.

The BIG Cthulu Fortnight gift would probably be a full set of blackout curtains to lock out the pesky neighbors and infrared cameras horrible, burning sunlight. That, or a Kitchenaid. They're expensive, but universally liked I think.

 

[9thRequiem]

You do realise that Christmas occurs during Summer in the Southern Hemisphere, right?

What are these lies you spew? Everyone knows there's no such thing as a Southern Hemisphere. The world consists entirely of the US (and it's hat, hi Canada), Europe, the USSR , and some vague landmass that no one's ever been to supposedly called "Africa".

There is no Southern Hemisphere in that list!

PS - On a moderately serious note, that's honestly how something like 30% of Americans see the rest of the world, as sad as it is.

...

Then explain Hugh Jackman.

Hugh Jackman's Canadian. He comes from this "Australia" part of Canada. I think it's their Hawaii or something ...

Wish I could help OP, but my family hasn't really done gifts since I was an adult ... It's just less stressful that way.