The internet and relationships

[Gizmo]

One thing I always held a curiosity for is, do you feel that it is possible to have a relationship with someone whether it be a romantic one, or just a real friendship with someone that you met online?

I've met a lot of people online that I feel very comfortable talking to and I would consider them my actual friends, if we ever meet in real life I feel we'd hit it off just as we do online and we'd be very close.
Then there is the romantic aspect, I may think you can develop a friendship, however I don't believe that it is likely, I won't say impossible. To become more than friends via the internet. I just don't think you can connect at that level with the interactions available for people online.

Now Escapists, I leave it to you what are your thoughts on this matter?

 

[Craorach]

I met the woman who is now my wife online, while running a RPing website together, and 10 years later I'm living on the other side of the world with a good job, a home, a marriage, a step son and thinking about having a family of our own.

So yeah, it's possible.

However, when people come to me seeking advice about it.. since I'm often the only person they know who's been through it.. I always urge caution. I'm well aware my relationship is the one in a million that worked. I know dozens of people from my time online who tried and failed.

 

[Powereaver]

I love my online friends ... they are the only real friends i have.. unfortunately i can never make friends irl with the local populous so online was the next best option and luckily for me ive made a buttload of european friends over the years because without them id probably be 6 foot under by now

 

[ms_sunlight]

I met a guy online. I'm married to him. I definitely think you can have a real relationship with people you meet online. I do not, however, think you can take a relationship beyond a certain level if you don't also take it into meatspace. By this, I'm not talking about sex, but rather intimacy and personal connection. Sooner or later you actually have to meet, or the friendship / relationship will remain stilted.

 

[Amberella]

I'm currently engaged to a boy I met over the internet. I live in the US and he lives in the UK. We've been together for over 3 years now and I'm going over in June to visit him again! So yes, I do believe it is possible to have a relationship with someone over the internet. Whether it be romantic or not.

 

[Jedoro]

Met one of my best friends on this site, actually, and I trust her with things I'd never breathe a word of to friends here. It was nice to meet her last summer, and it got me out of the country. Customs was a pain in the ass, though, so I'm not sure when I'll fly again.

 

[Lucem712]

I wouldn't say it's unlikely at all, especially in this modern age. People are more likely to be honest (once they strike up a friendship/comradeship[footnote]Oh, my. That's actually a word! Woohoo![/footnote])

A big plus on internet communication (IMO), (with IRL friends and online friends) is the lack of awkward pauses that you might find in a blooming relationship or friendship.

 

[Vault101]

hmmm..had a couple of peopel I talk with online one-on-one

is it the same as a"real" freind? well it depends, its certainly nice to have somone to talk to, even say things you might not to others, however you still cant quite gfo and "hang out"...well unless you play an online game

who needs real life anyway?

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I have one person that I talk to online every so often and that's about it. As for relationships, nope.

I'm kinda odd when it comes to relationships and friendships in general especially with friendships since I just stumble into them and I don't know how they happen.

 

[Easton Dark]

Romantic Internet relationship currently been going for over 5 months. She's one lovely lady.

Here's hoping it continues for a long time. Wish me luck.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

I met my husband online. We talked online for hours and played games together. It didn't stay online for long when we found out that we only lived 40-45 minutes away from each other. We hung out (meeting in public places first), played more video games, that lead to fooling around a bit(WINK). Then we went out together seriously, eventually moved in together, and married a few years later; our second wedding anniversary is in July. We've been together for nearly six years altogether.

Since the both of us game online, and usually in the same games, we find that we share a lot of internet friends; and we've met a couple in real life. We consider them and our other online friends, good friends. There are two or three that we haven't met yet, but that was only because no one has been able to make any kind of plans for a trip yet; them or us.

I always urge caution when it comes to meeting people online whether for relationships or just friendships. Never meet them at your private residence first. Make sure to make your first meetings in public and try not to leave yourself in a vulnerable situation until you are absolutely sure of trust. They may see it as a sign of distrust, but if they were smart; they'd do the same with you. Also make sure to thoroughly talk to this person, and even go over old topics. They could have been putting up a front online, and could be a completely different person altogether. Call me absolutely paranoid, but it's just good to know what you could possibly be getting into.

 

[xyrafhoan]

I met my boyfriend over an online game. One day on a whim he joined my guild, and we were friends for years. We gradually became closer and had lots of good times online when I decided I really, seriously liked him. I was still in high school and so was he, but during his spring break he flew out to Vancouver from the opposite side of the country so we could meet. I was REALLY sick during our first real life meeting, so much that we couldn't really do very much together, but we still liked each other after the meeting and he was not some creepy internet pedophile looking for teenagers. We had a couple other meetings, and he moved out here when he turned 19. Including the time we met online, we've been together for 6 1/2 years now and are hoping to get married when I'm finished with my Commercial Animation diploma in another year and a half.

Other than that, I've met some of my best friends online too. The best means of meeting up was to find a place halfway in a public place. Later on we did things like stay-overs for extended periods of time. Overall I think that, as long as you use the first visit to validate someone as being roughly like the person you "know" online, you can work from there. Never dive into simply showing up at another person's house, though.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

My current roommate started as a friend of a friend I met online, on the other side of the country, one of my best friends to be precise, so we have perfect houshold harmony, he doesn't bug me or get in the way when I have women over, and well it goes without saying that when he ever gets around to coaxing a woman into coming over to see him, then well yeah I'll stay outa the way.

 

[staika]

I think it's definitely possible to have a romantic relationship on the internet but I also think that it can only go so far until you would have to meet IRL. I think it would be much harder to do than a normal relationship especially if you are located a ways away from each other. I would certainly give it a try if the opportunity arose but sadly I don't see one happening but these things can sneak up on you so who knows

 

[Chasing-The-Light]

I had an online girlfriend for a year, which started with us a roleplay partners. It was nice and all, and I really liked her, but in order for us to work, I would have had to change my major and move to Canada, and honestly I wasn't willing to do that.

In the scheme of things, though, I don't think it's impossible for them to work. Some people are into that, and can do online relationships pretty easily, and with Skype and whatnot these days, it's becoming easier. But I'm not that kind of person. I'm terrible at communicating my thoughts, and so only having words makes it so much harder for someone like me. xD

But more power to the people who can do it.

 

[That One Six]

Sadly, I don't really talk to people, so I'm not a whole lot of help. Back when I played RuneScape, I met some cool people, but I never really got to know more than one or two of them, and since I quit, we never talk anymore. I'm just not personable enough to meet people, online or otherwise! =D I'll just stick to my three friends and girlfriend, and hope that's enough.

 

[Zeema]

im in a relationship with my Boyfriend and i love him with all my heart. i trust him with everything i cant wait to Meet him in real life. besides thru a web cam

 

[Waaghpowa]

I've met several people while playing World of Warcraft that I would consider good friends.
(I wont bother with real names)

1) The retired US marine
2) The Kiwi (He's from New Zealand whom I love because he got me the "Europe exclusive" Sonic Generations Collectors edition)

It's not like we've never actually psychically met before either. We make plans to get together. First time was Blizzcon 2010. It was the kiwi's first trip to America. We're all fairly close and keep in touch via chats such as steam and WoW/SWTOR. We even help each other out when one of us needs it.

I will admit that I've had a romantic relationship online for over a year which recently ended for stupid reasons (wont get into it) and it all worked out for the most part. We took turns seeing each other. I went to her for a week, then she came to me for a week.

Like many other people have said, be cautious. I'm incredibly cautious of people in general. I wouldn't get into a relationship with someone I met online unless I felt...safe(?) about it.

 

[Nouw]

I'd say a genuine relation/friendship is possible online. Just look at the responses posted here. I have a close friend here myself whom I talk to on a near daily basis.

 

[Gennadios]

Romance is a little iffy. One of the people I'd consider friends admitted that she has a crush on me, only catch is she's married.

I think romance is a bit of a trap though. When you have the distance of the internet everything seems like a safe bet, easier to talk about problems and people around you because there's a degree of anonymity for them. No guarantee it'll work out in the real world.

Friendships can work no problem. Made a friend in an MMO over 3 years ago that lived 2,000 miles away, still chat on facebook, I stopped buy while traveling in his area a few months ago, drinks, chatting, catching up on old times. Fun and totally worth it.