The last thing you ate is now attacking you

[YunikoYokai5]

(stares at jaffa Cakes) ...I knew it!! C'mere you weird cake!

 

[lettucethesallad]

A flatfish is trying to kill me? Uhm... move out of the water?

 

[Hasido]

a handfull of peanuts are attacking me and all i have to defend myself is a peanut butter nutella sandwich? delicious.

 

[Dwarfman]

And all you have to defend yourself is the thing you ate before that.

What are you fighting and what is your defense?

Hang on. I'm being attacked by rice?

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

A Hostess glazed donut. BRING IT ON!

...Oh, my defense? OM NOM NOM NOM!

Hang on. I'm being attacked by rice?

Thousands of them, I'm guessing. Good luck, bro.

 

[Qtoy]

OH SHOOT! Generic Fruit Loops that taste like Trix are attacking me! Help me!

Oh thank god you've saved me Mr. Five Slices of Pepperoni Pizza with Cracker-Thin Crust!

A bowl of Cap'n Crunch... well, since I didn't eat the bowl itself it's just a pile of soggy cereal. I can call my dog over to eat it off the floor for me.

You sir, have made me laugh out loud. I salute you.

a handfull of peanuts are attacking me and all i have to defend myself is a peanut butter nutella sandwich? delicious.

Dude, a peanut butter and nutella sandwich? That sounds amazing. Why haven't I tried that

Captcha: ituater (something that resembles Missigno. on its side.)

 

[peter-lavalle]

Oh dear ... suddenly bananas, oats and mocha flavored whey are forming a wall to defend my apartment from steamed rice vegetables and minced beef

 

[Dr_McSteamy]

I'm being attacked by left over Thai? Oh my poor bowels....

 

[Sean Hollyman]

Wow this is still going?

Anyway I have to fight some crisps.


But on my side, I have a NECTARINE

 

[Jakub324]

I'm fighting a jam sandwich with a joint of beef. I think I'll be OK.

 

[himemiya1650]

Easter candy I found in my basement. I had my suspicions, but I never would of guessed...

 

[emeraldrafael]

alright, cows arent that much a fight alive.

Cows kill more people per year than all kinds of shark combined...

OT - corned beef is my foe, and steak sandwich is my weapon. Typical Tuesday.

Cows or bulls, cause there's a difference.

and those people must not know a cows weakness.

 

[emeraldrafael]

alright, cows arent that much a fight alive.

Cows kill more people per year than all kinds of shark combined...

OT - corned beef is my foe, and steak sandwich is my weapon. Typical Tuesday.

Cows or bulls, cause there's a difference.

and those people must not know a cows weakness.

Cows I think, farms rarely have more than one bull and keep it separate, but have a load of cows in an open field. People think "hey, theyre not bulls, its fine", head through or go to pet the cows, and get trampled. A medium-frame cow weighs around 1200 lbs...big animals. True story.

Also, what is their weakness? Burger buns and ketchup, presumably?

the knees. Cows have very weak knees and if you get at one, you can pretty much lame the cow and force its death earlier.

... You can also tip them preemptively.

 

[emeraldrafael]

the knees. Cows have very weak knees and if you get at one, you can pretty much lame the cow and force its death earlier.

... You can also tip them preemptively.

Hard to hurt the knees of a cow thats charging you (they arent as slow as they look). Also, how easy is it to tip a cow with no prominent horns? Only ever seen it done on bulls.

Not if you're good (and carrying a metal rod/bat). Or any wiring, rope of some kind.

As for cows... well, they sleep standing up, so if you get enough momentum into it you can give a good push with a friend and knock them over. They're rather relaxed in that state, and its easier then when they're charging at you/awake.

 

[emeraldrafael]

the knees. Cows have very weak knees and if you get at one, you can pretty much lame the cow and force its death earlier.

... You can also tip them preemptively.

Hard to hurt the knees of a cow thats charging you (they arent as slow as they look). Also, how easy is it to tip a cow with no prominent horns? Only ever seen it done on bulls.

Not if you're good (and carrying a metal rod/bat). Or any wiring, rope of some kind.

As for cows... well, they sleep standing up, so if you get enough momentum into it you can give a good push with a friend and knock them over. They're rather relaxed in that state, and its easier then when they're charging at you/awake.

So many problems with that...so many.

(1) Cows dont usually sleep standing up - they can if they have to, but usually dont.
(2) Surely wire or rope would do no good against a rampaging cow, unless you had it tied off in advance or something?
(3) Even if they are sleeping upright, running at them full tilt is gonna wake them up...and if they are asleep, why are you trying to tip them in the first place? Preemptive self-defence?
(4) A tipped bull still held by the bull-dogger is calm because it knows you have it down, but if you shove a cow over, its gonna thrash and kick til its up, and that aint safe.

I get that this thread was originally about fighting your last meal, but I dont think arming up you and a buddy and sneak attacking a cow in its sleep is fair...

Thisi s gonna be my last post in here, just cause I think were ruining the piint of the thread.

1) the ones on the farm near me usually sleep standing up. so thats my basis.

2) well, yeah. thats kinda of the point. I dont just go pissing off cows without some kind of defense.

3) I said tipping was pre emptive. I guess you just missed it. its oka, just saying if you go back, i said it was.

4) usually you just have to stay away fromt he head. if you do that, and keep your feet away from it you should be fine if it thrashes.

and to the final point, I dont see whats fair about hunting an animal that weighs several hundred more pounds themselve and is armed with a natural weapon (horns) so if I'm going to kill it, I'm going to need to be armed. I dont know if you ever tried (I know I havent) but I would imagine its hard to kill a cow by hand. Or really any animal of that size.

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

I´m honestly not sure what I´m fighting... Its a Mcdonalds hamburger from Costa Rica, who knows what kind of meat it is... Although, I am fighting it with a ramen noodle monster... So I guess I should be ok...