The Misadventures of the Escapist

[lettucethesallad]

Fairly boring stories here. Allow me to demonstrate a better one:

Acouple years ago when I was in a seaside town, I went out partying with some of my friends, needless to say, us being a bunch of manchildren with little caution, we brazenly tried a cocktail called 'THE TERMINATOR', which was served in what I could only assume was a bucket, but I'd had quite afew before that and was more than happy to drink more.

I later learned that the TERMINATOR had approximately 250ml Vodka, 250ml Bacardi rum and 250ml of 'Clear spirit' (The nastiest alcohol known to cheap drunks everywhere down that way). Plus an assortment of fruit juices to deaden the taste.

Collectively, our memories faded to black.

When I woke, the day after, I was still 75% drunk, 25% hungover, when my brain finally engaged, I found myself on the floor of the kitchen in our shared flat, surrounded by:

A traffic cone.
Six pint glasses filled with golden fluid of undetermined origin.
A mercedes symbol, ripped from a car, plus parking ticket.
One bottle of 'Balkan Vodka', empty, with 5 warning labels, (EXTREMELY FLAMABLE and NEVER DRINK STRAIGHT caught my eye, along with the shotglasses).
And what appeared to be an electric handrier, the name of of a local pub was written on it, along with six or seven bathroom tiles still attached.

When the rest of the guys woke up, we laughed, tried to recall what had happened, then disposed of the evidence. Lord help my liver.

You're my new hero.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

+

=

Ow.

 

[A Raging Emo]

as a small child i got the brilliant idea to make a parachute out of a big trash bag and jump off the top of the swingset. it didn't work.

Oh my God! I had that idea!

 

[mercr452]

I was playing tag with a cop and robbers theme when I was in elementary school. Anyways, we were playing in a hilly wooded area and I was being chased by a "Cop" down a hill. Little did I see (it was twilight) the clothesline hanging between trees. So I ran full speed into the clothesline and it happened to be perfect neck height. I was classically movie-like clotheslined.

However, not the end, there was also a rusted mobile gas tank, which I hit my head on and got knocked out. Came to and was bleeding all over the place from a deep gash on the back of my head. About a day or two later I developed a severe case of rope-burn from my collarbone to my chin.

Another time in elementary school and I was on a ski trip. I hit a patch of ice and did the yard sale all over the slope. However, I wouldn't stop sliding down the mountain after I fell. My bad luck that the ski trail was NOT straight. The trail turned, I didn't. I slid into the woods, hit a rock, hit a tree and finally dropped 5 feet into a bush. Got knocked out again, I was told what happened by my friend, I actually have no idea what happened. I got to ride down in one of those orange sleds that you see injured people in. Went to the Emergency Room for that one.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

I was classically movie-like clotheslined.

That happened to a guy I knew. Only instead of clothes line, it was that steel cable that you see supporting lightposts and such. He was chasing someone, they ducked, he didn't. His feet actually left the ground. It was quite impressive.

My feet left the ground on two memorable occasions. Once was when I was about 5-6 and I decided to run, grab the monkey bars, swing, and let go, sending me through the air and onto my feet. Wrong.

I didn't let go fast enough, swung almost parallel to the ground, then let go, only to land flat on my back.

The second time was in Aikido practice. I don't recall the name of the move and it'd be hard to describe without actually showing you, but Yuki, one of our more experienced members, made me go airborne and spin when I was parallel to the ground. It happened so fast that I didn't even realize that I was airborne until I heard the "BOOM" of my body hitting the mats and the rush of expelled air from my lungs. I was blinking and everyone came to check on me. When they asked if I was alright, I responded with, "That was AWESOME!"