The Oddest Thing You've Considered About a Character...

[Doctor Gonzo]

Hey all,

Just out of a supreme lack of stuff to fill my time constructively with, I started to think about odd hypotheticals about characters (both minor and major) for the video games I've played throughout my life. I feel I must find out if anyone else has ever had the same thoughts, and, if so, what are they?

For example, if we are lead to believe that after 25 years, Mario has been coming over to Peach's castle for more than "cake," then, excluding Baby Mario, how many bastard children do you think he's fathered?

Let the off-kilter discussions begin?

Edit: Oh dear. Someone had to point out the nuggest of stupid in my own post. Baby Mario IS Mario. Nevermind that one.

 

[ChupathingyX]

The children of Little Lamplight in Fallout 3 gain members through underage sex.

How else would they?

 

[Flutterguy]

Earthworm Jim, just...WTF!!!!

 

[tobi the good boy]

How come Noveria in Mass Effect is a huge frozen wasteland where you die outside without a thermal suit and the planet synopsis says that the average temprature on the planet was -1 degrees Celsius?

EDIT: Sorry wasn't -4 it was -1

 

[Mallefunction]

How come nearly all video game characters (carrying various weapons and tools) cannot open any doors without the correct key?

 

[Grufflenark]

How come Noveria in Mass Effect is a huge frozen wasteland where you die outside without a thermal suit and the planet synopsis says that the average temprature on the planet was -4 degree's Celsius?

Maybe in the future humanity becomes incredibly irresistible to cold.

Well, I am at least prepared, with the -20 degrees of the north.

 

[LarenzoAOG]

The population of the Imperial City in Oblivion is made up of about 100 people, and the 5 or 6 other major cities number about 40-50, and yet their are dozens of locations populated with dozens of bandits, so I estimate that the population of Cyrodil is roughly 70% criminals, with about 50% of the non-criminal population made up of guards and professional soldiers, with about 10 times as many wild animals, monsters, and undead as actual people.

This has on occasion led me to believe that Cyrodil itself is some kind of inside-out prison, with small areas of freedom and civility surrounded by murderous thugs and monsters.

EDIT: Forgot one. After skullfucking someone with a blade, stabbing out their eyes, breaking their femurs, spines, and skulls, and shooting them in the face, how do the charecters in the new Mortal Kombat keep fighting.

And with Johnny Cage's xray move, punching someone in the nuts is roughly equivalant to when Kitana jams two knives in the back of your skull in terms of damage.

 

[Stormz]

How come nearly all video game characters (carrying various weapons and tools) cannot open any doors without the correct key?

How do they open those same doors without using their hands??

 

[Norendithas]

The children of Little Lamplight in Fallout 3 gain members through underage sex.

How else would they?

Maybe when Children are born in Big Town, their parents leave them on Lamplight Cavern's doorstep? I like the thought of that more. x.x

How come nearly all video game characters (carrying various weapons and tools) cannot open any doors without the correct key?

How do they open those same doors without using their hands??

Why the hell can't they learn to use a lock pick?

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I estimate that the population of Cyrodil is roughly 70% criminals, with about 50% of the non-criminal population made up of guards and professional soldiers

If lock picking is so easy, then why don't the people of Cyrodil make better locks? It takes me little more than a second or two to pop open the best of locks, and everyone acts all surprised when I break into their home, rob them blind, and then stab them to death! Not only that, even the NPCs can do it.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Who guards magic items shops?

And what with?

 

[ChupathingyX]

The children of Little Lamplight in Fallout 3 gain members through underage sex.

How else would they?

Maybe when Children are born in Big Town, their parents leave them on Lamplight Cavern's doorstep? I like the thought of that more. x.x

But why would the send their children to LL if they know they're just going to get kicked out? Plus the people who live at Big Town are all pretty young anyway so it's still creepy.

 

[zombiestrangler]

Who cleans up all the dead people on the street in Saints Row? For that matter, where are all these people coming from? Should I be getting a medal for helping with the city's unseen overpopulation problem? Also, where do you keep the unlimited ammo when you unlock it?

 

[LobsterFeng]

Where does Leon S. Kennedy get all of his stamina from in Resident Evil 4. I realize this is more "video game logic against real world logic" than "weird character thoughts" but seriously, he never gets tired. And it's not just the fact that he can run forever, it's also the fact that he can fire and reload many weapons so perfectly every time.

And yes I like to say Leon S. Kennedy every time I talk about him.

 

[Norendithas]

snip

My guess would be to give their child a good life before they get their arse kicked out. But you never know. D:

 

[Fugitive Panda]

"I wonder who has the biggest penis?"

 

[TheFinalFantasyWolf]

KINGDOM HEARTS 1 + 2 :

I wonder If either Sora, Kairi or Riku, had parents, and if he did, did he in fact care for them?
Seeing as he goes through 2 games just to find his friends yet through the whole time he doesn't mention a word about his mother, father, or the person that took car of him till that age. I know in anime, manga and JRPG's that the element of friendship is (for some reason) a bond that is so strong that it oversomes anything. (That includes enemies, and your connections to your family.) :S

I get the whole theme but it still bothers me that they skim over those kinds of things. It sort of feels like a weird plot-hole.

PROTOTYPE :

Once I understood that Alex Mercer could shape shift any part of his body into a weapon. (Can't really do that "in-game", but thats basically what the virus allows him to do)
I won't lie, I thought dirty -_-, I mean comeone, he could really kill a chick with that kind of a boner XD. Jeez, talk about rough sex.

THIS IS FOR ALL GAME CHARCTERS :

(If they weren't a child already)

I always want to see each game character as a child. I don't know why, I just feel like even if they are evil, seeing the in a chibi form would just make me laugh or go awww. (I think the only chibi character that I'd still be afraid of, would be Pyramid Head from Silent Hill 2. *Shivers, that thing would be in my nightmares)

Just to edit on : As Fugitive Panda mentioned......Yes, when playing a game, I also do wonder which one of them has the biggest penis.

 

[azazel104]

The shape of Raz's head in Psychonauts


enough said

 

[WaReloaded]

After I rip somebodies spine out on Mortal Kombat, how come they're still playable?

 

[deserteagleeye]

I think that the moogles and chocabos are GODS. The both of them travel through time and dimensions to aid their "prophets" aka main characters, to prevent certain evils from gaining a power that would tear the fabric of reality! Thus, stabilizing the many universes they traverse. Oh, and their "Christ" is actually named Cid. I stand by its feasibility.

 

[Konatacalypse]

The children of Little Lamplight in Fallout 3 gain members through underage sex.

How else would they?

Glad I'm not the only one that thought this.


The Heavy loves all his guns, but favors Sasha and Natasha over the others. He doesn't even bother to name the Brass Beast or the Tomislav. Also The Spy is not french it's just a ruse to throw people off.