The Peter Molyneux Game

[ParadoxBG]

In light of Fable creator Peter Molyneux's legendary tendency toward HYPER-hyperbole (see the thread "Peter Molyneux: Natal Bigger Than The Mouse" if you don't know what I mean...or just read the article's title.), I've decided to open this thread so that we could ALL have a chance to play the Molyneux game.

Take something that kind of went 'parf' in pop culture history ... could be a movie, a game, a project, a governmental policy, or whatever, something that turned out generally bland or just made you shrug and move on ... and pretend it hasn't been released yet. Then act like you have the job of hyping it. Biggest lol wins.

EXAMPLE: The film Godzilla, starring Matthew Broderick, will revolutionize the monster-movie genre, raking in award after award and earning a place among the most classic movies of all time.

Etc, etc.

 

[Riobux]

Jericho by Clive Barker will feature engrossing and realistic characters in an environment that will totally blow you away. It will feature full interaction, innovative concepts which will leave you coming back again and again and again and some of the best game-play you will of played in a long time.

 

[Hazardlife]

Sporks. The greatest eating utensil ever designed. No longer will you have any need for knives and forks, soon this one implement will be the ONLY cutlery in any household in the world!

 

[oppp7]

Segway are going to be FAKKING AWESOME! Cities are going to be built around these and THEY WILL ATTRACT HOT SUPERMODELS FROM MILES AROUND!

 

[Yesiamaduck]

The minidisc was about 8 years too late

 

[The Last Nomad]

Killzone 2 will boast amazing visuals, an intense campaign, and extraordinary online play that will keep you coming back for more.

Oh wait... that one is true... I'm not very good at this

 

[Archemetis]

In Molyneux-Land:
Seek & Destroy on the PS2 will be a revolution in player, tank interfacing and everything will be perfectly rendered in an ever-changing procedurally generated environment.
When you tip over a tree, the tree will grow back in real-time, when you destroy a building within virtual, living city the populace you leave alive will rebuild accordingly, you'll revisit areas again and witness the people working hard to rebuild what you destroyed.

Meanwhile, in Reality...:
Seek and Destroy is a sub-par game even for PS2 standard, you play one of a few cartoon tanks and blow other tanks up... It's an awful, awful game and was more than likely a waste of good money to develop.

 

[FranzTyphid]

Lady gaga will revolutionize the music industry for ever.Her talent shines through like a bright ruby.Her stage show was also amazing, me and my friend were perticuarly enthralled when her breats shot flames.

(IN SHORT)
Lady Gaga is Good.

 

[Sephychu]

Halo: ODST. New, brilliant, fun! Totally nothing like every other Halo game ever made!

 

[BolognaBaloney]

Superman 64 will place you in the role of the man of steel, in ways never before thought possible. It's graphics will render a photorealistic version of Metropolis for you to explore at your leisure. The gameplay will be smooth, intuitive, and will revolutionize gaming altogether. This game will be remembered for all time as one of the greatest.

 

[whycantibelinus]

Laserdisc is going to absolutely revolutionize how you view movies in your home. Crystal clear picture, sharp sound, no degradation of magnetic tape so you won't be having to go purchase new video's because you're VCR ate it. I'd predict that within 6 months of release that video will be dead and we will be in the era of Laserdisc. The list of mans greatest inventions you ask? Laserdisc, fire, wheel.......in that order.

 

[Brainstrain]

Dark Void...will leave the player asking for more.

This is actually true.

 

[ParadoxBG]

lol win

Segway are going to be FAKKING AWESOME! Cities are going to be built around these and THEY WILL ATTRACT HOT SUPERMODELS FROM MILES AROUND!

Y'know, I think that might actually have been part of the original segway hype.

Still, probably my favorite:

Sporks. The greatest eating utensil ever designed. No longer will you have any need for knives and forks, soon this one implement will be the ONLY cutlery in any household in the world!

Okay:

Elect George W. Bush as president of the United States, and welcome eonomic prosperity and a new, friendlier, more peaceful tomorrow.