How many of us play DnD? Raise your hands. You know what, on second thought, don?t; you?re just making yourself a target for the jerks. Anyway, for those of you who DO play DnD, how many of you play with girls? Or are one? This is the story of Amira Sunfire, the half-elf fighter, and how she changed our weekend Cheetos binged sessions forever...
Me, and a selective group of 5 other gentlemen, would get together on the weekends and play DnD. our adventures took us too the reaches of Rashmen, the sands Calimshan, and the frozen north of Icewind dale, each of us rugged, strong, manly men. [Except me, Halfling rogues FTW] until the day our DM, lets call him Josh, gave us the great news. We were getting a new player. I was told this new player was great, a real life saver and skilled fighter, which was good because our barbarian had an unfortunate encounter with a hydra/rust monster cross breed. [Did I mention our DM was a terrible, terrible person?] Anyway, our DM played with this new character before, and regaled us with tales of the adventures he had with her. However, he forgot to mention one fatal detail, one that I realized stunned on the day she opened the door into our playroom. She had boobs. At least, that was what I first noticed about her anyway. Our DM got up and greeted her like an old friend, while the rest of us stared gawked. It was like meeting some kind of alien. A girl? Playing DnD? Madness!
It didn?t take long for her too enter our session, as a trapped Damsel, a sacrifice for the necromancers we were routing out of an old tomb. However, when I picked the lock on her cage, she proved to be anything than that, as she cleaved the newbie necromancer and his recently raised minions. It?s not so much that she was a girl, but that she was good. Really good, that began to irk me. The party instantly fell in love with her, some of us more than others [our half-elf sorcerer felt they had a special bond] anyway, as we progressed further through the Tomb, she proved invaluable as a meat tank, which was fine, until she started doing my job better than me.
Let me just prop you in on the situation, we encountered a locked door. One that I could not pick. after three attempts. [Im considering burning my dice and getting better, not possessed ones] eventually I just told them "I can always take twenty and...? but before I could finish, she was already rolling her bash check. Natural twenty. The door burst open with a kick, knocking the zombie guard on the other side over. "No time for picks and pricks" she said. Then she laughed, Josh laughed, they all laughed. But I died a little inside. She was violating her place as the meat tank. And then the jokes started. Our end dungeon encounter was with a head necromancer who had that Damn wand of mass hold person. Everyone passed there will saves. Except me, of course. And so, I was held in place as his hordes of undead pricks very slowly swarmed around me. I was willing to take a fireball just to save me at this point, but nooooo.
She burst in again, greater cleaving her way too myself. and so while the rest of the party was looting that damn necromancer of anything of value, including the robes on his back, the half-elf was waiting for me to fall out of that damn bubble of holding "sorry guys, I was waiting for the short one" they all laughed of course. It was at this point I was considering stealing that damn fiery bastard sword, THEN let?s see her break MY doors.
but, I realized something someone, and old drunk in a tavern told me "you lot are all crazy you know, going off to get yourselves killed, but at least you know to work together, basing your strengths of one another, to cover each of your weakness's" it was at this point he threw up on my shoes, but it got me thinking. I shouldn't be afraid of this new fighter; after all, it was HER job to make sure the party was overrun by angry goblin hordes as I picked that damn locked door, and my job to make sure too backstab that troll she?s fighting. I just hope she doesn't check her pack for a while. She had a nice Ice dagger.
Me, and a selective group of 5 other gentlemen, would get together on the weekends and play DnD. our adventures took us too the reaches of Rashmen, the sands Calimshan, and the frozen north of Icewind dale, each of us rugged, strong, manly men. [Except me, Halfling rogues FTW] until the day our DM, lets call him Josh, gave us the great news. We were getting a new player. I was told this new player was great, a real life saver and skilled fighter, which was good because our barbarian had an unfortunate encounter with a hydra/rust monster cross breed. [Did I mention our DM was a terrible, terrible person?] Anyway, our DM played with this new character before, and regaled us with tales of the adventures he had with her. However, he forgot to mention one fatal detail, one that I realized stunned on the day she opened the door into our playroom. She had boobs. At least, that was what I first noticed about her anyway. Our DM got up and greeted her like an old friend, while the rest of us stared gawked. It was like meeting some kind of alien. A girl? Playing DnD? Madness!
It didn?t take long for her too enter our session, as a trapped Damsel, a sacrifice for the necromancers we were routing out of an old tomb. However, when I picked the lock on her cage, she proved to be anything than that, as she cleaved the newbie necromancer and his recently raised minions. It?s not so much that she was a girl, but that she was good. Really good, that began to irk me. The party instantly fell in love with her, some of us more than others [our half-elf sorcerer felt they had a special bond] anyway, as we progressed further through the Tomb, she proved invaluable as a meat tank, which was fine, until she started doing my job better than me.
Let me just prop you in on the situation, we encountered a locked door. One that I could not pick. after three attempts. [Im considering burning my dice and getting better, not possessed ones] eventually I just told them "I can always take twenty and...? but before I could finish, she was already rolling her bash check. Natural twenty. The door burst open with a kick, knocking the zombie guard on the other side over. "No time for picks and pricks" she said. Then she laughed, Josh laughed, they all laughed. But I died a little inside. She was violating her place as the meat tank. And then the jokes started. Our end dungeon encounter was with a head necromancer who had that Damn wand of mass hold person. Everyone passed there will saves. Except me, of course. And so, I was held in place as his hordes of undead pricks very slowly swarmed around me. I was willing to take a fireball just to save me at this point, but nooooo.
She burst in again, greater cleaving her way too myself. and so while the rest of the party was looting that damn necromancer of anything of value, including the robes on his back, the half-elf was waiting for me to fall out of that damn bubble of holding "sorry guys, I was waiting for the short one" they all laughed of course. It was at this point I was considering stealing that damn fiery bastard sword, THEN let?s see her break MY doors.
but, I realized something someone, and old drunk in a tavern told me "you lot are all crazy you know, going off to get yourselves killed, but at least you know to work together, basing your strengths of one another, to cover each of your weakness's" it was at this point he threw up on my shoes, but it got me thinking. I shouldn't be afraid of this new fighter; after all, it was HER job to make sure the party was overrun by angry goblin hordes as I picked that damn locked door, and my job to make sure too backstab that troll she?s fighting. I just hope she doesn't check her pack for a while. She had a nice Ice dagger.
