The "Shakespeare for Dummies" Game

[Johnn Johnston]

We all know who Shakespeare is. At least, I hope we all do. I'm assuming you know some quotes as well - if you don't, maybe check for one in a search engine.

Take a Shakespearian quote (well-known or not)and translate it into a language that an idiot can understand. For example:

"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio."
Translation: "Goddamnit, Horatio. Yorick's gone tits-up this time."

 

[000Ronald]

"Mens eyes were meant to look, and let them gaze; I will not bulge for no man's pleasure, I."

Translation "No, fuck them; If they're gonna look, they're gonna look. I'm not gonna stop for them."

Probobly my favorite quote from Romeo and Juliet.

 

[wilsonscrazybed]

and an old hare hoar
and an old hare hoar
is very good meat in lent


(sung to Juliet's nurse)
Old women are hot, especially when you've been without any for a while (see: Lent).
Also, a play on words.

 

[Johnn Johnston]

"What light through yonder window breaks?"
Translation: "Bit bright, innit?"

 

[Dinnj]

"Peace, peace, Mercutio, peace!
Thou talk'st of nothing."

Shut up Mercutio shut up!
You're talking shit!

 

[Johnn Johnston]

"To be, or not to be. That is the question."
Translation: "Innit, or ain't it? That is, like, totally the question, bruv."

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

"Lend me your ears"
Translation: "F***ing listen to me you morons!"

"No cassius. for the eye sees not itself but by reflection."
Translations: Cassius. I have to use a mirror to see myself

 

[Krystallkitty]

"That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold; What hath quench'd them hath given me fire."

They cain't hold their beer man! they all pass out and i'm on top of the world!

 

[The_Heretic]

"Gentles perchance you wonder at this show but wonder on till truth make all things plain."
Translation:If this shit is confusing you right now wait and it will all be made clear soon enough.
"Me thinks I was enamored of an ass!"
Translation:I think I was in love with a donkey!

 

[Khedive Rex]

"A plague on both your houses!"

Translation: "Fuck you! Both of you!"

 

[LewsTherin]

A horse, a horse, my Kingdom for a horse! -King Lear

Translation WOULD ONE OF YOU BLIGHTERS GIVE ME A BLOODY HORSE?!

 

[ThePoodonkis]

"Et tu, Brute?"
"Brutus, what the crap?"

"What's done is done."
"I'm not supposed to do that? Oh, well, too late..."

 

[PurpleRain]

HOLY ODIN!

The escapist should translate Shakespeare. Each one of us should grab a character from a novel we know or have and translate the lines of said character.

Mean while:

King Lear-

"Come not between the dragon and his wrath."
Get the fuck out of my way.

"I can be patient"
I can be patient

 

[Dinnj]

"Strike, drum."

"Lets roll."

 

[Lord Krunk]

"A plague on both your houses!"

Translation: "Fuck you! Both of you!"

Damn, you beat me.

...and kill the envious moon,
whose vestal livery is but sick and green,
and only fools wear it. Cast it off!

The moon represents virginity, so...

Kill your virginity,
Which is sick, and only stupid people keep it.
Lose it...TO ME!

 

[Johnn Johnston]

"Friends! Romans! Countrymen! Lend me your ears!"
Translation: "Mates! Roman blokes! Homies! Listen the fack up!"

 

[poleboy]

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.

Translation:
"Lessee... what's worse? Kill my friend the king and fuck up the entire kingom? Or no sex for the rest of my life because I didn't? Yeah. Yeah that's definitly a dagger right there."

 

[Spleeni]

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings."

Bro, we gots to go shank Caesar. With many, many knives.

 

[Geamo]

Is this a dagger I see before me?

EY, MA! I FOUNDED A FLOATIN KNIFE!

 

[The_Deleted]

NOW IS THE TIME TO STORM! WHY ARE YOU IDLE?!

Translation:

Up 'n' at 'em you lazy shower of bollocks!