I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, but I suppose I need to tell someone. Why here? I'm not exactly an active member of this forum, I read a lot but I've hardly ever posted. I like this forum, being as heavily moderated as it is also makes it mature, something I am not. This is all going to be a jumbled mess, I'm a HORRIBLE writer. I don't expect many people to read the full post, but to those who do, thank you.
First, a little bit about me. I'm 24 years old, I'll be 25 on June 21st. I currently work full-time for Lehigh Valley Hospital in Allentown PA as a picker/stocker for their warehouse supplies. Before that I spent 6 years working full/part time for Arby's, a fast food chain. I label myself a lifelong game since I received my NES on my 4th birthday. I spend almost all of my free time doing something with games.
I have always been considered to be a very intelligent person by people who know me. While I was never considered a gifted student, school was always very easy for me, especially Mathematics. I never really put any effort into it, I didn't need to. I won't say I was a straight A student, because I wasn't. English class (and for the most part, only English) made sure of that, but even then my grades were still very good. School however, was something I dreaded. Part of my problem was I was very short, the smallest kid in my grade throughout most of my grade school years. It wasn't until 10th grade where I outgrew the kids who stopped at 4'10". As such, I was very prone to bullying during elementary and middle school. I even vividly remember on one occasion being punched in the gut by someone who was a grade below me because I sat on a seat he wanted on the back of the bus. I had trouble breathing for a minute or two, the bus driver did nothing.
I believe this all gave me the problem of being very socially inept, I had very few friends growing up and suffer from very low self-esteem with all the problems I had. All this has made me incredibly cynical. By 9th grade most of the kids around me started to grow up, the bullying was over with. I never opened my eyes to this. Always with a smile I would respond to inquiries, but I never saw them as friendly. I looked at almost all interaction as a way to simply make fun of me. Even simple hello's I tended not to respond to because I didn't want to be acknowledged by my fellow students, I always annoyed them.
Compliments were always something that never sat well with me, I always turned it around. Every compliment was someone simply unable to say how bad a job something else was. There was always something wrong. A few years later my General Manager from Arby's would admit she stopped complimenting me after a while because I would simply turn it into an insult.
After 12 years of having extremely good grades, by my senior year in high school I fell into a depression. My grades plummeted from high A's to high B's and C's. I never really cared, while I never skipped any classes I wasn't there half the time. I was sick of school, I hated every minute of it. Despite that, in October of my senior year I applied with early decision for Juniata College and was accepted. As I was taught, it was just the next step, it is what I had to do.
Naturally, I floundered. After 1 semester I managed only 8 credits. During school I hardly did any work and didn't go to class often, I pretty much exclusively played online Triple Triad. I didn't make it far into the second semester before I dropped out, my counselor told me I was going to go to work for a year and then I'd be ready to come back. It never happened.
I ended up going back to the job I had in high school at Arby's. I also saw a psychiatrist once a week for about half a year which unfortunately had to end due to it being extremely expensive for my parents. I remained in employment there from February of 2005 until February of 2010. One could argue I was in a rut, but in the end I think it was a good experience. Especially after the psychiatrist, my boss admitted I became a lot more outgoing then I used to be. I was a lot more talkative and sociable and met some wonderful people.
When my hours were cut too much I was forced to find full-time employment elsewhere, which ended up being for the hospital. The people I work with aren't bad, but I really don't like the job. Even a few people I work with have mentioned I'm too smart to do this and should go back to school, it's not the first time I've heard this. Even Mr. and Mrs. Bob and Maureen Steckel (unfortunately I can't remember their exact names)told me this as customers of Arby's. Before, however, whenever anyone asked me what I was interested in doing for a living, I would always tell them I didn't know. Which was true, I never really did. By this time though, I was receiving hints. When one of my co-workers told me I should go to school, Fran asked, instead of what I would like to do for a living, what classes I'd like to take. That was easier to answer, I love history. And when I did go to college the class I enjoyed the most was a history of the human race and its development. Even my girlfriends parents recognized that I love history. Fran made a lot of sense, and I really couldn't give a good reason not to go. That conversation brought me for the first time to really consider going back to college.
Considering it and doing it are two different things however, but within the last 2 weeks I received that last shove forward and will be going back to school this summer. I'm really embarrassed to say this, but that last shove was from someone I've never nor will I ever meet. I've always been very curious, so I tend to read a lot of different Wikipedia articles on famous people, cities and a whole range of subjects. Earlier this year my girlfriend got me into Harry Potter and in one of these perusals of Wikipedia I started reading about Ms. Emma Watson. Emma Watson was a straight A* and A student in Oxfordshire (I could check to be sure, but I think that's it), normally that is no big deal to me but she even attends an Ivy League school. For whatever reason, and I really have no certainties myself, that bothers me. She's 20 years old (according to wikipedia; it's been known to be wrong)an incredible actress, with a strong future, and she chooses to go to school. Here I am, essentially a bum to my parents and at only the age of 24 I seem to be in a rut with no future. Quite a wake up call, I guess inspiration can be found anywhere.
But why do I feel confident that this time it will be different? I went to school before and failed miserably. Well, for one thing, I have a more absolute direction this time. Last time I aimed to be a zoologist and while I do like animals, I never really liked biology. It was a poor decision based off a test I took in 8th grade. I was an idiot for really considering it. History in general is something I find much more fascinating.
The largest factor that will help me is my opinion on reading has changed. I've been reading books, albeit small ones, since I was 4. I always hated reading, always wanting to play my video games. That's something that has been true throughout most of my life. However, within the last year I've started picking up books and taking in recommendations. It started with Sherlock Holmes, moving on to some Dickens and continuing from there. Reading is a pleasure and while mostly it is all light reading, it's a definite step in the right direction.
Thank you very much to the friends I have made and the people that have pushed me forward. Thank you Bob and Maureen, Fran and even Ms. Emma Watson. I'd like to look back at this 10 years from now and say this is where my life really started to change. Feel free to comment on anything I've said, and please recommend some books to me. Also, to anyone spending almost all of their free time playing Call of Duty or World of Warcraft, please set it aside for a night and pick up a damn book, I can guarantee you most of the successful people you'll meet like to read.
First, a little bit about me. I'm 24 years old, I'll be 25 on June 21st. I currently work full-time for Lehigh Valley Hospital in Allentown PA as a picker/stocker for their warehouse supplies. Before that I spent 6 years working full/part time for Arby's, a fast food chain. I label myself a lifelong game since I received my NES on my 4th birthday. I spend almost all of my free time doing something with games.
I have always been considered to be a very intelligent person by people who know me. While I was never considered a gifted student, school was always very easy for me, especially Mathematics. I never really put any effort into it, I didn't need to. I won't say I was a straight A student, because I wasn't. English class (and for the most part, only English) made sure of that, but even then my grades were still very good. School however, was something I dreaded. Part of my problem was I was very short, the smallest kid in my grade throughout most of my grade school years. It wasn't until 10th grade where I outgrew the kids who stopped at 4'10". As such, I was very prone to bullying during elementary and middle school. I even vividly remember on one occasion being punched in the gut by someone who was a grade below me because I sat on a seat he wanted on the back of the bus. I had trouble breathing for a minute or two, the bus driver did nothing.
I believe this all gave me the problem of being very socially inept, I had very few friends growing up and suffer from very low self-esteem with all the problems I had. All this has made me incredibly cynical. By 9th grade most of the kids around me started to grow up, the bullying was over with. I never opened my eyes to this. Always with a smile I would respond to inquiries, but I never saw them as friendly. I looked at almost all interaction as a way to simply make fun of me. Even simple hello's I tended not to respond to because I didn't want to be acknowledged by my fellow students, I always annoyed them.
Compliments were always something that never sat well with me, I always turned it around. Every compliment was someone simply unable to say how bad a job something else was. There was always something wrong. A few years later my General Manager from Arby's would admit she stopped complimenting me after a while because I would simply turn it into an insult.
After 12 years of having extremely good grades, by my senior year in high school I fell into a depression. My grades plummeted from high A's to high B's and C's. I never really cared, while I never skipped any classes I wasn't there half the time. I was sick of school, I hated every minute of it. Despite that, in October of my senior year I applied with early decision for Juniata College and was accepted. As I was taught, it was just the next step, it is what I had to do.
Naturally, I floundered. After 1 semester I managed only 8 credits. During school I hardly did any work and didn't go to class often, I pretty much exclusively played online Triple Triad. I didn't make it far into the second semester before I dropped out, my counselor told me I was going to go to work for a year and then I'd be ready to come back. It never happened.
I ended up going back to the job I had in high school at Arby's. I also saw a psychiatrist once a week for about half a year which unfortunately had to end due to it being extremely expensive for my parents. I remained in employment there from February of 2005 until February of 2010. One could argue I was in a rut, but in the end I think it was a good experience. Especially after the psychiatrist, my boss admitted I became a lot more outgoing then I used to be. I was a lot more talkative and sociable and met some wonderful people.
When my hours were cut too much I was forced to find full-time employment elsewhere, which ended up being for the hospital. The people I work with aren't bad, but I really don't like the job. Even a few people I work with have mentioned I'm too smart to do this and should go back to school, it's not the first time I've heard this. Even Mr. and Mrs. Bob and Maureen Steckel (unfortunately I can't remember their exact names)told me this as customers of Arby's. Before, however, whenever anyone asked me what I was interested in doing for a living, I would always tell them I didn't know. Which was true, I never really did. By this time though, I was receiving hints. When one of my co-workers told me I should go to school, Fran asked, instead of what I would like to do for a living, what classes I'd like to take. That was easier to answer, I love history. And when I did go to college the class I enjoyed the most was a history of the human race and its development. Even my girlfriends parents recognized that I love history. Fran made a lot of sense, and I really couldn't give a good reason not to go. That conversation brought me for the first time to really consider going back to college.
Considering it and doing it are two different things however, but within the last 2 weeks I received that last shove forward and will be going back to school this summer. I'm really embarrassed to say this, but that last shove was from someone I've never nor will I ever meet. I've always been very curious, so I tend to read a lot of different Wikipedia articles on famous people, cities and a whole range of subjects. Earlier this year my girlfriend got me into Harry Potter and in one of these perusals of Wikipedia I started reading about Ms. Emma Watson. Emma Watson was a straight A* and A student in Oxfordshire (I could check to be sure, but I think that's it), normally that is no big deal to me but she even attends an Ivy League school. For whatever reason, and I really have no certainties myself, that bothers me. She's 20 years old (according to wikipedia; it's been known to be wrong)an incredible actress, with a strong future, and she chooses to go to school. Here I am, essentially a bum to my parents and at only the age of 24 I seem to be in a rut with no future. Quite a wake up call, I guess inspiration can be found anywhere.
But why do I feel confident that this time it will be different? I went to school before and failed miserably. Well, for one thing, I have a more absolute direction this time. Last time I aimed to be a zoologist and while I do like animals, I never really liked biology. It was a poor decision based off a test I took in 8th grade. I was an idiot for really considering it. History in general is something I find much more fascinating.
The largest factor that will help me is my opinion on reading has changed. I've been reading books, albeit small ones, since I was 4. I always hated reading, always wanting to play my video games. That's something that has been true throughout most of my life. However, within the last year I've started picking up books and taking in recommendations. It started with Sherlock Holmes, moving on to some Dickens and continuing from there. Reading is a pleasure and while mostly it is all light reading, it's a definite step in the right direction.
Thank you very much to the friends I have made and the people that have pushed me forward. Thank you Bob and Maureen, Fran and even Ms. Emma Watson. I'd like to look back at this 10 years from now and say this is where my life really started to change. Feel free to comment on anything I've said, and please recommend some books to me. Also, to anyone spending almost all of their free time playing Call of Duty or World of Warcraft, please set it aside for a night and pick up a damn book, I can guarantee you most of the successful people you'll meet like to read.
