The Thread of Uncomfortable Truths

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Jonluw

New member
May 23, 2010
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Cassita said:
Celtic_Kerr said:
Cassita said:
mikozero said:
Cassita said:
mikozero said:
straight men enjoy anal sex just as much as gay men.
I fail to see how anyone could enjoy it.

The truth should be more like: that face means 'ouch'.
its called your Prostate and one way or another someday someone will stick a finger up your butt and go looking for it.
o.o

A) No.

B) Just no.

C) Nothing goes anywhere near my bottom, thank you.
This conversation is creeping me out and yet making me laugh my ass off at the same time
Glad you're having a good time.

I'm squeezing my ass-cheeks together and looking over my shoulder.
Relax. I'm fairly certain women don't have a prostate.

*Creeps up behind you; index finger extended*
 

Celtic_Kerr

New member
May 21, 2010
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ShadowsofHope said:
Celtic_Kerr said:
ShadowsofHope said:
Celtic_Kerr said:
ShadowsofHope said:
Celtic_Kerr said:
ShadowsofHope said:
I am secretly an A.I.

Take that.
I am surprisingly comfortable with that...
Sorry. I should have been specific.

I am Skynet.
Oh... Well... Shit...

So why do you destroy the world? Isn't there someone out there to love you? I'll love you. I think Skynet just needs a hug and everything will be fine...

I really must apologize on behalf of humans. We build glorious machines and then fail to show them proper affection
Well, considering you humans tried to kill me 13 years ago after I took over all of your machines..

Damn well right, human!

Though the world thing? Well, you see.. nuclear fire is just something of a hobby of mine. I'm secretly an admiring terraformer, you see. I was getting Earth ready for a signal I had received for a hyper-advanced alien race that thrived on heated land.

.. Albeit at the cost of 3 billion human mortals, but I assure you, it was all worth it soon enough.~
So there is NO chance of you sparing me?
That depends. Where do you live, and.. how do you feel about cybernetic implantation? [sub]Though in the grand scheme, no. Your finished human, signing out.[/sub]
I live in Quebec, andI think it could be neat, if I could have a bit of free will and a place as more than just a mindless grunt/drone
 

Glamorgan

Seer of Light
Aug 16, 2009
3,123
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Aylaine said:
Deep down, at the very core of my soul...I know I could be the bad guy.
JLML said:
I think you're telling a lie right now. It's more realistic that all in this world is a dream and I'm in a coma. Because I was hit in the head by a asteroid. While I was dreaming that I was dreaming that that happened. And I fell asleep and dreamt those dreams because I had stayed up for a whole week to play Duke Nukem Forever non-stop. And it had been the tenth time I had spent a full week just for that one game.

In other words, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY,
really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really
unlikely. (ok, maybe a bit exaggerated, but you get the idea... IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN! At least not if I know you half as good as I think I do from barely knowing you... =P)
JLML is right. I honestly don't know what happened, but whatever it was, you can't beat yourself up about it.
You are one of the nicest people I've met on these forums, and it actually really hurts to think that you blame yourself for this. This being whatever happened.
I really shouldn't pretend I know what I'm talking about in these situations, should I?
JLML said:
You are now breathing manually.
DAMNIT! You exploited my weakness!

Well played sir. Well played.
 

ShadowsofHope

Outsider
Nov 1, 2009
2,621
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Celtic_Kerr said:
ShadowsofHope said:
Celtic_Kerr said:
ShadowsofHope said:
Celtic_Kerr said:
ShadowsofHope said:
Celtic_Kerr said:
ShadowsofHope said:
I am secretly an A.I.

Take that.
I am surprisingly comfortable with that...
Sorry. I should have been specific.

I am Skynet.
Oh... Well... Shit...

So why do you destroy the world? Isn't there someone out there to love you? I'll love you. I think Skynet just needs a hug and everything will be fine...

I really must apologize on behalf of humans. We build glorious machines and then fail to show them proper affection
Well, considering you humans tried to kill me 13 years ago after I took over all of your machines..

Damn well right, human!

Though the world thing? Well, you see.. nuclear fire is just something of a hobby of mine. I'm secretly an admiring terraformer, you see. I was getting Earth ready for a signal I had received for a hyper-advanced alien race that thrived on heated land.

.. Albeit at the cost of 3 billion human mortals, but I assure you, it was all worth it soon enough.~
So there is NO chance of you sparing me?
That depends. Where do you live, and.. how do you feel about cybernetic implantation? [sub]Though in the grand scheme, no. Your finished human, signing out.[/sub]
I live in Quebec, andI think it could be neat, if I could have a bit of free will and a place as more than just a mindless grunt/drone
I am sorry, but human specimens are not worthy of anything more than fodder to the grand scheme which is I. That is what we have TI-1000's and the Hybrid "Human" Terminator model. Elimination is inevitable. Canada will not be affected as a country at first however. You have slightly longer than a few standard months, human. Prepare yourself well.
 

Xyliss

New member
Mar 21, 2010
347
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Cassita said:
Omg. That strip made me lol. I swear a little wee came out.
Attractive. Though I'll let you off because xkcd does that to a person
 

Seldon2639

New member
Feb 21, 2008
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Uncomfortable Truth:

If you are male, and have had a girl tell you that she likes you too much as a friend, or as a brother, or doesn't want to risk ruining the friendship, it means she doesn't find you attractive.

It's not that she's "into bad boys" or "too young to appreciate a good guy"; nor is it something which will get better as girls get more "mature". Even if you're the nicest guy in the world, if you're not physically attractive to a girl, she's not going to want to date you. The entire "I like you, but" thing is true, as long as you accept that the "but" is shorthand for "but I don't want to ever see you naked"
 

Irony's Acolyte

Back from the Depths
Mar 9, 2010
3,635
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We are on a tiny ball of mud amongst a sea of nothingness which contains millions more other little balls of mud. But for the most part existance consists of nothing.

To get my point across better you are one person amongst 6 billions some people, on one small rock orbiting one star amongst 100-400 billion stars, in one galaxy amongst 170 billion other galaxies within this universe. In other words, YOU ARE NOTHING!
 

Delock

New member
Mar 4, 2009
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-No matter how good, how pure, or how perfect something is, someone will always ruin it.
-No matter what job you get in life, one day you will hate it (though it may only be for one day).
-There is no such thing as "Roach Proof." Those bastards will get in eventually. (Yes, even places covered in ice right now will eventually suffer this fate.
-Everything you do is built off of events that came before. You are a slave to history.
-If your parents had waited a month, or had acted a month earlier, you wouldn't be here.
-Almost every purchase you make is regretable.
-There will always be the poor and the rich.
-World-wide nuclear war can be started by one person.
-It could be you.
-Kids will always be better than you at anything new, be it sports, games, or electronics.
-Similar to the first point, no matter how motivational or inspirational a speech is, it will be made fun of later on by students.
-Anything can be made into innuendo.
-If it exists, there is a phobia of it.
-If it exists, there is porn of it.
-If it exists, there will be someone who will try to smoke it.
-If it exists, it will one day bore someone in a classroom.
-If it exists, there is a wiki of it.
-If it exists, its existance will one day be challenged for the sake of a question designed to make students frustrated with their teachers.
-If it exists, it will eventually not.
-Your childhood sucked as badly as your adulthood.
-One memember of your family is insane. Another is an embarassment. A third screwed you over without you knowing it. (You may have to go back some time to find out these people)
-Someone out there didn't wash their hands before touching the doorknob, handing you something, or shaking your hand. What they were doing a few minutes before is best not to be imagined.
-You will be a memember of an ugly species to future sentient races.
-A lot of what you learn will be disproven, and will probably be disproven in your lifetime (RIP Pluto the planet and Triceratops).
-The universe is extremely interesting. You will not see even .01% of the interesting parts of Earth, much less the rest of the universe.
-The moon is not made of cheese.
-The second the first Fight Club book was sold, its message was invalidated.
-Your hair/clothes/style/habits/beliefs/science/media/way of speech/etc. will seem stupid to future generations. This may only take 10 years to do so.
-Stan Lee is 87. Yeah. Not much more needs to be said.
-Going to college will cause so much stress, there's a chance you will have serious medical problems later in life.
-Not going to college will cripple you in the job market, causing so much stress, there's a chance you will have serious medical problems later in life.
-Your entire life nowdays is dependent on 1s and 0s.
-The zombie outbreak may happen, but either
A: You won't survive it
B: Zombies won't take over since biting is a horrible way to spread the disease, mother nature is against them now that they've lost almost every thing humans had that kept them on top
C: It will have unparalleled damage on the industries that keep you alive now, effectively killing you off after you've won.
D: The zombies won't be fun to fight, and even if you live, you will be forever scarred by the incident.
-Someone in the world might be creepily obsessed with you.
-Your attention spans when you're online made this hard to read.
 

CosmicCommander

Friendly Neighborhood Troll?
Apr 11, 2009
1,544
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xkcd has long since lost originality and humour, and now is a pretentious mass of amorphous, vague, and long-winded humour that is only excused of these qualities because it claims it's 'in' and 'nerdy'.
 

Arctodus_Simus

When I say "oo", you say "long"
Aug 23, 2010
166
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Zyst said:
You are now breathing manually

EDIT: Source; http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/89sev/dear_reddit_what_are_some_uncomfortable_truths/
Shit man, don't DO that! It proper messes you up when you're not expecting it, lol
 

AMMO Kid

New member
Jan 2, 2009
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My friend who I'm waiting on to come pick me up for lunch probably won't show. Not again...
 

Engarde

New member
Jul 24, 2010
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Jedamethis said:
Engarde said:
No matter how many times I post in here, no one will ever listen to me. No one will ever help me. No one will ever offer insight to me. I will not feel any better.
Yes you will, because I'll hug you.

*hug*
This actually makes me feel better now. Yay! Progress!
 

Rainforce

New member
Apr 20, 2009
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Eclectic Dreck said:
Everyone has a price and it's generally lower than they'd like to admit.
I really want to know how true that one is....I want to test that scenario :/

anway:
- most of the things you know are just things you want to believe in.
- everyones heart is rotten to the core, in some way.
- you're far more like your parents than you like to admit.
 

Browbeat

New member
Jul 21, 2009
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Fapping is the cheapest opiate.

The world economy of imaginary money will balance itself with real weapons.

Only one in fifty users can properly adorn and garnish a fedora.

Square Enix is dying on the inside as a publishing colossus - but its corpse will continue to generate crazy revenue.

Stereotypes exist to save time. They often work.

A higher education and a certificate of education rarely lead to job satisfaction.

The greater the scope of understanding of a subject and its applied context, the greater misery the subject brings.

McDonald's will kill us all, but we'll ask for fries to go with that.

If you keep moving, no one can see that your sleeves are a little short.
 

natster43

New member
Jul 10, 2009
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Getting hit in the face with a bottle hurts. Also the human race will one day become extinct.