The Three Questions You Would Ask Your God (that aren't philosophical)

[TheOneBearded]

Well, as the title suggest, I want your questions. Let's say that, for some mystical reason or you're in a 90's kid movie, you get to meet face to face with your God. To not take the time for granted, you decide to ask him some questions. Now everyone has asked this question, but everyone asks in a philosophical way (Why do men go to war? How do I end world hunger?). Honestly, I don't care. What I do care about is everything else. Ask any question - no matter how odd or stupid.

Here are mine:

How does Ronnie James Dio have such an awesome voice at age 60 while I can't even crack a tune?

Why do monkeys get to keep their tail. I can think of a thousand uses for one. A taily Kama Sutra.

Boobies? What's the deal with those? OR If I were to build a tower from every piece of poop I have ever taken, how tall would it be?

 

[Bouchie Bouch]

1: Whose closer to the truth; jews, chirstians,or muslims?
2: What are your rules about sex/masturbation?
3: Can i have a taste of that? (indicating to the bacon palace any god worth his divinity would obviously have)

 

[Promethax]

Pepsi or Coke?

McDonalds or Wendy's?

Can I have super powers?

 

[Bobic]

My 3 questions:

What if you were one of us?
Just a slob like one of us?
Just a stranger on the bus?

 

[Radeonx]

No offense, but I think asking myself three random questions is kind of weird.

Oh ho ho, I'm so clever

 

[Ultress]

Will there ever be a second season of Baccano!/Durarara!!?

What is the recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken?

When will I get my first period.

 

[DionysusSnoopy]

What do you think is the greatest videogame?
Would you smite EA?
Boobs or bum?

 

[javelinstark]

what exactly do we do after ragnarok?

why is viggo mortensen so damn good looking?

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Why are you such a ****?

Okay, that pertains to the philoshical, so let's try again:

Is is true George Lucas replaced his bloodstream with money?
Who was phone?
Can I have some bacon?

 

[BehattedWanderer]

If you were to consider all of gaming that has been, which game(s) would you consider perfect?

If the small things are really what's important, how come it takes us 80 years to figure this out?

If I sold a soul I don't believe in for a sandwich, does that explain my love of sandwiches?

Boobies? What's the deal with those?

What heresy is this? Questioning boobs? This is sacrilege!

But seriously, they're amazing, aren't they?

 

[Hasido]

1. We all know about that unstopable force immovable object stuff, but what happens when the universes most stopable force collides with the universes most movable object?

2. Why do all the guards in Skyrim get shot in the knees?

3. Given that you are infinite, and that the universe is also infinite... would you like a toasted teacake?

 

[Crazy]

Who are you and where is Morgan Freeman?
If you love us all equally, why sentence us to Hell for eternal torture?
Why would you send us to Hell for not loving you?

 

[Mr Thin]

Where is the woman perfect for me/that I am perfect for? (Save me the trouble of searching.)

Why did you leave ass-hair in the schematic when designing men?

Why is the deliciousness of something inversely proportionate to how healthy it is for you?

 

[gostchiken]

What was in the case from Pulp Fiction?
Why did you have to leave us you tiny brilliant bastard?(Because Dio is the only god worth worshipping)
And could you sign this for me?

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

1.Did OJ do it?
2. Whats the cure for cancer?
3. are their aliens?

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

Who are you and where is Morgan Freeman?
If you love us all equally, why sentence us to Hell for eternal torture?
Why would you send us to Hell for not loving you?

Ok god doesn't do that, that's something the Catholics added to the bible, hell-fire is rarely mentioned in the original scriptures. God does love us and he wouldn't torture for living in a world ruled by sin. God knows us, more than we know yourself and he will give us all a chance to know him, and even if we refuse he won't torment you he will just keep trying. The punishment we pay for our sins is death.

 

[Dragonheart57]

1. What is the greatest video game ever?
2. What are the winning lottery numbers for the next 80 years?
3. What is the cure for cancer?

 

[GaltarDude1138]

No offense, but I think asking myself three random questions is kind of weird.

Oh ho ho, I'm so clever

You can't hide from me, dammit!

OT: How can I better my life?

What is the meaning of life?

And, can you save a spot for me? I promise I'll be good, at least once you give me the answer to #1....

All those and I'm set to go.

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

So, it is true that every religion is right, right?

When will you give us Hyperdrive? No, seriously, where's our Hyperdrive! We want to travel the stars, dammit!

Can I have more questions? Yes? Okay!

Out of all of your godly acts done over the millenia, which is your favourite?

How come humans and dolphins have sex that is enjoyable, but every other animal gets more of a raw deal?

Are there any other species of inteligent life other than humans? PLEASE SAY YES!

Will you sign my leather bound Bible?

 

[Crazy]

Ok god doesn't do that, that's something the Catholics added to the bible, hell-fire is rarely mentioned in the original scriptures. God does love us and he wouldn't torture for living in a world ruled by sin. God knows us, more than we know yourself and he will give us all a chance to know him, and even if we refuse he won't torment you he will just keep trying. The punishment we pay for our sins is death.

"But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates." Working on a Sunday is punishable by death then? As that violates the Ten Commandments does it not? Or is violating them not a sin?