The Three Questions You Would Ask Your God (that aren't philosophical)

[-Dragmire-]

"Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?"
"Really?"
"You?"

...couldn't help myself

*EDIT*

How did I NOT think of this?

1)What is your name?

2)What is your favorite colour?

3)What is the average flying velocity of an unladen sparrow?

________________________________________________________________

An actual question.

Adam West vs John Cleese, who'd win?

As in, Batman vs the French Taunter

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

Ok god doesn't do that, that's something the Catholics added to the bible, hell-fire is rarely mentioned in the original scriptures. God does love us and he wouldn't torture for living in a world ruled by sin. God knows us, more than we know yourself and he will give us all a chance to know him, and even if we refuse he won't torment you he will just keep trying. The punishment we pay for our sins is death.

"But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates." Working on a Sunday is punishable by death then? As that violates the Ten Commandments does it not? Or is violating them not a sin?

Romans 10:4-"For Christ is the end of the Law, so that everyone exercising faith may have righteousness" Jesus sacrifice brought an end to these laws but they mustn't be forgotten. Even if these laws were so the actual day of the Sabbath is Saturday, look it up.
And don't take this as a these laws are meaning less thing, we still need to love our brothers and love our lord.

 

[Darh Abdomino]

When will Man explore the stars? When will it be at the point where it's convenient?
Am I to be allowed into heaven?
What career should I choose? (Hey, I'm sixteen, this is something I'd want to know)

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

Who are you and where is Morgan Freeman?
If you love us all equally, why sentence us to Hell for eternal torture?
Why would you send us to Hell for not loving you?

Ok god doesn't do that, that's something the Catholics added to the bible, hell-fire is rarely mentioned in the original scriptures. God does love us and he wouldn't torture for living in a world ruled by sin. God knows us, more than we know yourself and he will give us all a chance to know him, and even if we refuse he won't torment you he will just keep trying. The punishment we pay for our sins is death.

The death in question is an eternity without God, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Google that. It doesn't mean what happens when your body from this Earth passes away, it means that if you don't choose to believe in him now, you will spend eternity away from him.

The presence of any sort of fire is never confirmed nor denied. It is mentioned in a parable, but then that's a parable.

As for me?

1) Would you be so kind as to implant in my head a decent mastery of every major language known to man, simply because that would be awesome? Thanks!

2) Will Baccano ever have a second season?

3) Can you take this fu... um, da... um, stinking arrow out of my knee?

Ecclesiastes 9-5-"For the living are conscious that they will die;but as for the dead,they are conscious of nothing at all"
Until the resurrection if your dead your unconscious of all things, your in a deep sleep, no heaven or hell. And for the wicked they just will just cease to be. And by wicked I mean those who are truly evil(Hitler, child killers, etc...).

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

what is the best skillset in morrowind?

if you had to choose who would replace the angelic choir, who would you pick between the Gorillaz and Daft Punk?

why would you be so cruel as to deny women the greatest pleasure in the world: the post-long-stressful-tiring-day-at-work nutscratch?

 

[Master_of_Oldskool]

1)What is your opinion on crazy, preachy fundamentalists being evil in your name?

2)What about smug antitheist douches acting morally and intellectually superior to religious people and citing the actions of said fundamentalist minority as justification?

3)Can I please please please please please have sex at some point in the near future? Preferably more than once?

 

[Pandabearparade]

1. Will you give me some money, please?
2. If not, can you give me the location of some large undiscovered gold deposits that are close enough to the surface for me to dig up myself?
3. How do I cure aging, cancer, and aids?

 

[German Borbon]

why did you put your son in that particular time? because that was freaking sadistic
by the way how is the poor kid?
why did you let the twilight books been released?

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

So many Christians and Atheists. Time for some Pagan Pride!

1) What make-up and perfume would you recommend for me?
2) Any lost/secret sex acts you could teach me?
3) Can I have a piece of your Golden Apple?

Edit: Also, please don't confuse me with the very pleasant Christian above who's got a very similar avatar, but a far smaller post count.

 

[Sir Rammington Steel]

1. How specifically would I become immortal?
2. How precisely should I go about my life if I want to get into heaven?
3. How many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man?

 

[Siege_TF]

When will I have collected enough Skulls for your throne?
Why haven't you provided me with a chainaxe yet?
How does Nurgle move from place to place when half his guts are hanging out?

 

[shrimpcel]

Can I get super powers?
Why not?
Are you serious?

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

1) ...eh...Am I "doin' it right?". Am I living a good enough life, you think? Got any thought provoking advice that could help?

2) ...Why do I have this annoying part of my mind to deal with, and could you remove it please?

3) .......Umm....Next weeks lottery numbers? Please? Pretty please with melty butter on top?

 

[DanDeFool]

Easy.
1:Which religion do you want humanity to follow?
2:Who is the devil, and what does he do? (Bonus points if God responds in His best Arnold impression.)
3:Why did you create the universe? Was there even any point to it in the first place?

 

[WaywardHaymaker]

What's the most practical way to travel in space?
Is it possible to travel through time?
How do I shot web?

 

[Ranorak]

1) Why are you sitting in MY throne?
2) Where is my coffee?
3) Why are you still here!?

 

[noobium]

The three questions I would ask:
1) When I die can you turn me into a star eating space dragon?
2) Does this rash look bad to you?
3) Since your omnipotent and all, can you create some thing so heavy that not even you can lift up?

Then the universe as we know it would end.